Balance Prayer

This is a prayer for myself and anyone else who wants it:)

I thank you, God, for the ability to forgive and the gift of forgiveness. Until recently I couldn’t forgive no matter how I went about it, not sure why, but I presume it had to do with the hate taking all the space available in my heart leaving no room for anything else, including forgiveness or joy.

Thank you for breaking that hard calcified wax of hate towards others and myself and melting it away from my soal. Now I have room for forgiveness, love, and joy. Now I can forgive myself and others; sure it’s still an effort, sure it’s still my will and choice but I have the power to choose now versus being stuck within my sick soul with no way out except a continuous and exhaustingly constant squirming and no progress other than fatigue. I earnestly thank you now for giving me the parents I have, for bringing me to this part of the world, for my family, and for giving me the body I have. What tremendous spectacular things I’ve learned because of these privileges and what great privileges I have to help others.

Thank you for waking me up to my potential by revealing to me my fears, fears that captured me in a self-restraining smuggled dark suit all these years. By showing me these fears and their consequences, you opened up the eyes of my soul to the things I’ve missed and the opportunities not taken if choosing to remain in that snuggled dark suit called fear.

I will choose life, love, and joy. I will risk opening up and be vulnerable in order to gain these three qualities. I will re-learn and re-direct my focus, thoughts, and behaviors in order to experience the consequences of life, love, and joy. In my quest, I will fail sometimes but I will get up and continue because my focus has shifted. I finally see that I have the right to experience life, love, and joy, a right you gave me a long time ago but was taken away by other’s fears only to be recently recaptured.

It’s a re-learning process based on the truth that what others said or did in order to keep me down was based on their own insecurities and fears, not mine. Their walls, not mine. I thank you, Father God, for opening not only my eyes but my soul as well to accept this, for acceptance is the bridge between success and failure. In the past, I’ve accepted false versions of someone’s truths and it brought nothing but a vast desert in my soul, now I will accept your truth to choose life, love, and joy. After all, that’s the definition of balance. Not one without the other, not one over the other. Balance. Truth. This time your truth and let’s see what that brings along and where will it end.

Amen.

 

 

Gut Level Cognition

Have you ever had a gut feeling that you ignored and later on ended up regretting your decision? I’ve experienced that many times.

Emotions affect our gut feeling and our gut feeling affects our emotions. More precisely our bacterial health in the guts and neurologic signaling to the brain are affected by our emotional status controlled by fear, anger, stress, happiness, joy, etc. It either sends too many signals overloading and/or fatiguing the brain and body or sends miss-signals such as bad memories which are no longer happening but did so at one point in time, creating a perpetual state of alarm in the entire body and mind, such as the case in PTSD.

I’ve come to the conclusion, and I may be repeating myself here, that unforgiveness over past hurts, people and the decision of holding on to past painful emotions results in a weakened immune system, sometimes to a collapsing point. The good news, however, lays in body regeneration: every minute million if not billions of our cells die and new ones are born, but here’s the trick to keep in mind: cell memory. Cells have memories and will take the memory of the dying cell and continue the work until they too die and the new ones take over and so on. Do you see the pattern? In order to really heal, you have to retrain a new cell, build a new memory so to speak to the level of health you want those new cells to be. How? Start by imagining yourself healthy, or how you functioned when you were healthy and hold on to that. Talk to your body! I know, I used to find this step ridiculous until I realized that I was already talking to my body and have been for years telling it things like I don’t like my hair type, eye color, or fat content, breast size, butt size or stomach bulge. So reverse that speech. That being said, keep in mind to be realistic and okay with the body type you have, esthetic wise and focus on inner cellular health, for proper healing. After all, God gave each and every one of us our unique characteristics and we’re not meant to be a mass manufactured doll duplicates looking all like a blue-eyed, blond hair, big boobs, and butt girl do. I have girlfriends of all skin pigmentations, shape, size and age and I’ve learned good things from all of them. When I look at them I see the character before the body, yet the body and character unite to make the person precisely who they are. When I feel insecure I must remind myself that’s my own inner self-problem, a problem based on something I was at one time told with the intent to either hurt me, deflate from another’s pain, or share/spread one’s misery. A happy person simply can’t spread misery.

Another way to heal is by breathing. Just breath, and breath deeply. I realized only in my late 20s, at the suggestion of a naturopathic doctor, that I responded to any and all stressful circumstances by holding my breath. That’s how I coped back in my childhood while witnessing innumerable moments of trauma. We all have our own coping mechanisms, what’s yours?

These are more suggestions, I’m sure, but I’ll stop here, processing the few ideas I’ve put down in this blog is enough for now. Some illnesses are so far gone down a diseased road that complete healing may not be available yet. I do believe our bodies have the ability to heal in its entirety from all and any type of illness and disease, but I also believe we’re not there yet, knowledge-wise or belief-wise. Do all you can to heal yourself and envision such healing. I will not lie to you, it’s not easy when you’re not used to thinking that way but it’s possible.

 

My latest treatment:

NeuroCalm (Designs by Health brand, found on Amazon for around $54, and works fantastic for calming my nervous system),

CranActin (by Solaray, found on Amazon for $13.30/120 pill count, and it works fantastic for any urinary tract health, prevention or treatment),

MegaFlora for Women (by MegaFood, a probiotic supplement that supports Vaginal and Urinary Tract Health, Amazon for $43),

Quercetin (by Vital Nutrients, Amazon for $29, this is for respiratory and sinus, histamine support) + Bromelain (I take Bromelain and Quercetin together, By Jarrow Formulas, a pineapple enzyme that helps with inflammation reduction, Amazon $20),

Fungal Defend Tincture (By the Herbalist, Amazon $18, self-explanatory) Herbal-Biotic Tincture (The Herbalist, Amazon $18, promotes quick immune response),

Magnezium Malate (By Source Naturals, Amazon $15, supports muscle and energy production) and finally

Pro-Gest cream (By Emerita, natural progesterone due to pre-menopause lower levels of progesterone, Amazon $25, add a pearl size drop on the skin at night).

Most, if not all of these supplements are gluten-free, vegan, Non-GMO excellent brands products. Gluten-free, dairy-free, no processed foods or refined sugar diet.

For those who have time and interest, this is a great medical video. Speaker is Gabor Mate, a doctor, on “How emotions affect our cognitive functioning”.

God Bless:)

Mercury dental fillings and chronic autoimmune disease

Is there a connection? The dentistry industry and western medicine doctors will tell you; no, there is not. However, they don’t have any answers to idiopathic diseases such as: CFS, Fibromyalgia, MS, Alzheimer’s, or the “fake” chronic Lyme Disease, to name a few.  They claim symptoms of CFS and Fybromyalgia to be part of a mental problem in the patient built up from a desperate need of attention -as if the patient wants to feel as horrible as they do, around the clock mind you, while isolated from the very community they once were part of. And all this done by choice. I would tell them today -to the ignorant doctors- as I tolled them in the past when they had the nerve to respond to a medical complaint in such a cold manner: if I want attention all I have to do is throw myself a great big party and invite all my friends. That would be an expense well worth it, instead of paying you to tell me that I may be crazy. You simply have no idea what’s wrong with me.

There are many articles and personal testimonies written by regular people (all over the internet) proving otherwise. These people have noticed a major change in their overall health after removing amalgam fillings (which have a 45-55% of mercury) out of their mouths. That can’t be just coincidence. Why are dentists trained to handle and dispense the amalgam materials as bio-hazardous material, if it was safe? And the government deems it fine in our mouths, close to our brains and our central nervous system. What would be the damage there, right?

Tomorrow I have another dentist appointment. After tomorrow I’ll be mercury free -as far as my teeth fillings go- in twenty something years. After I had four mercury fillings removed, all at the same time, about two months ago, I noticed, within hours the following: an extremely high amount of deja-vu’s and flash backs to my life back in Romania (and life before the mercury fillings, fillings which I received shortly after my arrival in United States). I felt as if air began moving in my head, predominantly in my left side (where I had four top fillings and two bottom fillings removed). Maybe some of you will think: well, Carmen that could be just you “feeling” a certain way based on some information you read. Well, within hours, I ran (even if for a minute or so- you must remember my muscles have been in a state of distrophy for almost four years now) after Alex, my youngest, while playing in a park close by our apartment. That has not happened in years! What I found interesting, was the instinct that kicked in to run and the body did so without thinking. I could not do that before, since I was in a fog like state around the clock. The periferral shadows that kept me in a constant jumpy state, disappeared. I haven’t seen them since. The fogged mind decreased 70% and my overall energy increased dramatically, to a point where I began to play tennis with my family-even if it was for ten minutes and it took a feverish week of recovery after that- but my body hasn’t experienced that kind of exercise in four years. I did have to go through the detox process, intensified by the extreme heat of this summer and continual fight of Lyme, Bartonella and Babesia flare-ups.

I do not pretend to tell you it was easy- it was not- but it was necessary and finally my immune system was strong enough to endure such a long ordeal (I began the dental work in spring).

Have I noticed a difference? Absolutely. Has my family noticed a difference? Absolutely. Am I 100% better? No. As much as I tell myself that I’m totally cured -an emotional and mental strategy of believing even if I’m not feeling 100% yet- it’s a much better approach toward my views of life than the pathetic advise of some of the doctors I’ve seen (all western medicine practitioners); You’re one of those unfortunate cases and you’ll have to just accept your new reality. The hell with that. I have another reality I keep telling them: I’ll be the 1% case to fully recover, you’ll see. And I walk away with a new battle strategy in my head. Our bodies can heal themselves if given the right info and opportunity. And that’s all there is to it- at least as far as I’m concerned. Will I die one day? Of course I will- unless I find out that I’m actually Wonder Woman. But should that keep me from fighting? I think not.

For all of you who hurt and battle, constantly, such horrible pain but are subjected to the lame medical excuses and remarks such as; I don’t see anything wrong with you (as if all the medical mysteries have been discovered already and they have all the answers), you fight back and tell yourself: I’ll be the 1% to fully recover! It is not easy, especially emotionally. When I saw myself so very ill and limited, without medical answers I had doubts too. It’s a very intense battle to not let go and let be, and most days feels like you’re stuck in a hopeless whirlpool intensified by the doctor’s ignorance and coldness towards you. But… there’s the will to fight and get better too:))))) And with that (and the belief in God, in my case:) you can climb the impossible mountain. Sure it takes effort. Sure it takes persistence. Sure it takes action. But it feels great when the pain subsides and your ghostly body gets up and out of the suffering bed and meets life, one step at the time.

Be the 1% too:)

God bless:)