Poezie

Azi am simtit nevoia de a scrie o poezie de imbarbatare pentru cei abatuti de anumite necazuri in viata asta.

Desi nu am expertiza in acest domeniu, sper ca aceasta poezie sa incurajeze pe cine are nevoie de incurajare.

Va doresc o zi binecuvantata in continuare la toti:)

Am auzit ca nu se vede bine poezia, si atunci o scriu aicea:)

Durere,durere, soptesti in tacere

Cu foc si putere in madularele mele

Si sufletu-mi arzi cu-atata durere

Si ochii-mi inalt cu-atata sfiala

Spre cerul de sus, spre pura speranta

Dar cel de sus tace, ma simt far siguranta.

Oh Doamne? Sunt singur? Am nevoie de pace!

Si lumea vorbeste, pe-n dos ma barfeste,

Si vorbele sapa, din plin ma doboara

Si-n urma las urme, adanc ma coboara

Si suflet, is trup, si spirit omoara.

Oh, Doamne vorbeste si de rau tu pazeste

Caci durerea sopteste si multe trezeste

Si pacea mi-o fura, fiinta-mi oboseste

Iar tot ce-i curat si pur ofileste.

Oh Doamne! Ascult! Tu vorbeste!

In lacrima ta presenta mea este

Pe patul de suferinta al meu spirit pazeste

Eu plang langa tine, copilul meu, fireste

Cazut este-acum si tatal sopteste:

Domul, eu adica, al tau pastor este

De nimic lipsa nu vei duce.

Eu te culc in pasunile verzi,

Tot eu te conduc pe api odihnitoare,

Si sufletul-ti trist tot eu il inviorez.

Si cu mult drag eu te calauzesc

pe dreptile cai, datorita Numelui meu.

Si in valea umbrei mortii cand vei umbla

Sa nu te temi, copile, de raul apasat

Ca tot eu sunt langa tine, singur nu vei fi lasat

Iar toiagul si basonul meu te vor ghida.

Eu iti voi intinde o masa bogata

in fata dusmanilor tai,

Si-ti voi unge capul cu undelemn

si cupa tot eu ti-o voi umple,

sa vada cei ce-ti vor raul, ca al tau tata sunt,

de partea ta raman,

pentru ca bunatatea si credinciosia mea

te vor insoti pe tot parcursul vietii tale

si tu loc in casa mea

vei avea cat vor dainui zilele. Amin.

Lyme's sufferers prayer

We are the hosts of utter frightful monsters

who hunt and hurt and spread with rapid glee

Too small to see, too tough to kill, oh me!

And here an now our limited existence,

Must be the grounds of such rebellious resistance?

We cry and hurt, and hurt with such persistence,

but doctors stare and give us no assistance,

and all we want is that our frail existence

be void of pain, but full of sheer emittance

of health and joy but not of coexistence.

My God, how can such lack of balance

exist in tissues? Why so much present malice?

Why are we hunted from within, asks us?

When will these monsters be unmasked?

A cure is all I ask today

I’m not alone in this I say

For such dark monsters our bodies they decay

And we need hope, for that I’ll surely pray. – Carmen McKnight-

Buhner Protocol

Hope is a dangerous thing. It can break through any dark matter and bring along the light we need and long for.

I’ve purchased the latest expanded and revised book called Healing Lyme written by Stephen Harrod Buhner.

It’s been five years since I found out I had Lyme, so why wait until now to read some of these books ? I suppose due to couple factors. In the beginning 95% of anything I read I could not process or retain.Once I pushed past that I was too overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation, a situation without a positive finality. No cure for Lyme is something I hear often yet I have a hard time accepting. How I see it, there’s a cure for everything. We simply need to find it, and hopefully during our life-time.

The additional pain that comes from a relapse pushes me yet again into the research field, because we all know pain is the best incentive to make us act, and have come face to face, yet again, with the Buhner protocol, a treatment I heard about with many positive results but never tried it al least not in its entirety.

Yesterday was my first day, and all was good but today I have a very big headache and I feel funny (nausea, headaches, feel like Im getting a nose bleed, fatigue and pain behind my eyes). I’ll have to reduce the doses.

I’m following the example Buhner has in his book for a Neuroborreliosis protocol, since it got in my brain, which consists of the following tinctures.

*Polygonum cudpidatum or Japanese Knotwood tincture- 1/2tsp, 3-6x daily -for endothelial protection.

*Salvia Miltiorrhiza or Sage and Scutellaria baicalensis or Skullcap combined tinctures, 1tsp 3x daily for cytokine remodulation.

*Cordyceps/ Eleutherococcus/Uncaria tomentosa or Cat’s claw combined tincture, equal parts of each, 1.5tsp 3x day for immune remodulation.

*Glycyrrhiza or Licorice tincture, 1/4 tsp 3x daily. (not if you have high blood pressure) for immune remodulation.

Uncaria rhynchophylla, 1/2-1 tsp 3-6x daily for neuroborreliosis.

*Withania somnifera or ashwagandha. Powder: 1/2 tsp am, 1tsp before bed time (pm) for immune remodulation.

*Andrographis, 1-2 600mg capsules 3-6x daily, antispirochetal.

Tryptophan, 1500 mg 3x daily for neuroborreliosis.

*Great lakes gelatin powder, 1 Tbl. in the morning with water or juice for collagen.

*Vitamin C, 1000-3000mg daily for collagen protection.

*Selenium, 200mcg daily for collagen protection.

All supplements with a * are part of the core protocol, so you can add to this protocol based on your needs. The book has a long list of other tinctures to add.

In addition to this I take Sida Acuta tincture, since my body has always responded extremely well to it, weather is in IV form or tincture. I don’t respond well when its in pill format. Sida Acuta helps with tremors associated with neuroborreliosis.

Burbur-Pinella tincture helped with the headache.

Like I said, hope is a dangerous thing, it stubbornly pushes through dark walls looking for a way out. God, I pray I’ll find my way out so others can find theirs. Thx.

God Bless:)

15 Octombrie 2021

Anuntam cu mare drag si entuziasm, ca pe 15 Octombrie 2021, ne vom intoarce in Europa! Nu cred ca ne vom intoarce in Romania imediat, dar vom fi in Europa, detaliile inca nu sunt finalizate:)

Pe 15 Octombrie 1993 am plecat din tara dupa nunta si casatoria cu sotul meu american, Chet si am decis ca ar fi poetic sa ne intoracem tot pe 15 Octombrie:) Alex, baiatul cel mic va termina liceul anul viitor si pe urma in toamna venim inapoi:) In primavara vom vinde si apartamentul aicea:)

Ne va fi mare dor de America, si de prietenii si familia de aicea, dar vom avea bucuria de a putea petrece timp cu familia si prietenii din Europa:)

Cu ajutorul Bunului Dumnezeu vom ajunge cu bine:)

Va dorim o zi binecuvantata cu Domnul:)

October 15th- 2021

October 15th 1993- was the year I left Romania right after I married Chet:) It’s been a long time. So both Chet and I found it poetic to return back to Europe, most likely not Romania just yet, next fall, October 15th 2021:)

We’re selling our condo here this spring and will be renting until the time comes to fly back and be closer to my other side of the family and friends. We’ll miss America tremendously!!!!! I love it here! I’ll miss my family and friends here as well, but my heart is calling me back home.

So with great excitement, Chet and I are looking forward to our new adventures ahead. It will be hard to leave but it’s time.

So my friends and family back in Europe, we’ll see you soon!!!!!!

Step 9- Setbacks and relapses

Imagine me sighing now, because that’s what I’m doing and I haven’t begun writing this blog yet.

Thank God for artist like Mandisa, for friends and loved ones, for great hubbies and wives, for sisters, parents, brothers, for friends and for those wonderful people who do research work so we can find The Cure. We must find the cure! There are only so many relapses we can walk through with our heads high and hope filled hearts. But we do it! Ultimately thank God for life, shitty like it is at times is better than not having it.

Recovery from a chronic illness is an up-and-down process.* No need to beat around the bushes about this, those who suffer know this truth.

Just when you think everything is turning around, a set back kicks you in the …well just about everywhere. You’re on your back, in bed, wrapped in the blanket of pain and now what? Why God? Why again? Did I eat the wrong thing? Did I do too much? Took the wrong medication? And you trace back every single step with a fine brush and can’t seem to find anything. Or maybe you do.

My #1 flaw. With increase of energy my thirst for life returns and I end up wanting to do all those things I dreamed of doing while imprisoned in bed, so I do them! And for brief periods of time I feel like I belong in the vast community of humans where I too look and behave normal, where pain and disease are not the subject of the day, where I can be stupid and silly and alive. That’s when I collected memories. That’s what I call it. These memories are worth every single stab of pain I feel later on, because Lyme punishes us like that. If you see me out there in the world and if I’m visiting you or you’re visiting me, I’m living and loving it, even if I know Lyme’s punishments will come later on.

Fortunately, with time, these setbacks gradually become less common and less intense. * True. At least it is for me.

System disruptors that cause setbacks: poor nourishment, toxins, emotional stress, physical stress, oxidative stress (increase in inflammation), radiation (from computers and cell phones), microbiome imbalance (new bite, flue, cold, Herxheimer reaction, flu vaccine), bacterial and viral fare-ups (Epstein-Barr virus reactivation, other herpes- type viruses, Borrelia, Mycoplasma etc), drug reactions, inadequate sleep, and/or allergic reactions to herbs or drugs, or even food, travel or stressful events, or if you’re like me I enter complacency- do more and eat more sugar. The weather changes also affect us, less sun and more cold, rainy, humid days bring the flare-up fast. Cancer, menopause and other such unexpected illnesses, it can do a number on the body.

General Guidelines: If you can get sun or move to a sunny area, do it. REST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did I make that clear? I hope so:) Lots of liquids and when I say liquids I mean water, tea (ginger) and natural non-sugary drinks. Vitamin C, turmeric and boswellia to reduce inflammation, Enzymes to help you break down the food you eat. The best one is just eating pineapple or take Bromelain, Omega-3 fatty acids, heat, CBD oil (I take that quite a bit during flare-ups, it keeps me sane), herbal supplements, go outside and breath fresh air and walk barefoot on the dirt, meditate, make your world smaller, try to exercise-Yoga is good- (now this is one of those catch 22 issues, flare-ups brings along severe fatigue symptoms and we only have a certain small amount of energy every day and many times we have to choose between cooking or exercising) but endorphins suppress pain and enhance immune function.

And the hardest one of all, figure out how to reduce fear. Yeah, easier said than done, right?

How do I do it? Well, I cry first and I get angry then I start formulating a plan. I’ll give you some ideas, but if you have other ones please share them and I’ll add them here.

Plan ideas

What do I want to do this summer? Realistic goals only. Everyone can make their way outside and lay on a piece of grass and soak the sun, for example. So look forward to those activities.

What new recipes do I want to make? (Most days I only want to eat sugar, so this one is tough:).

What friends do I want to see once I feel better? Assuming they’re still talking to me;)

How can I be part of my children’s lives more?

What hobby brings me peace? I should start that hobby then. So on.

In conclusion, please rest, surround yourself with good and positive encouragement material via books, shows, friends, activities and look forward for the happy spring and summer seasons. Keep fighting because a cure will be found:)

I hope some of this information has been helpful to you:)

God Bless:)

* Quotes or information taken from Williams Rawls book, Unlocking Lyme.