Cu Biblia in mina si ura in suflet

Este un numar prea mare de copii abuza-ti in famiiile de pocaiti. Pe o latura se predica despre bunatatea lui Dumnezeu fata de omenire dar acasa, in intimitatea familiei, multi copii simt zilnic pe propria lor piele ura, furie si durere de la aceeasi persoana care poate cu citeva ore mai devreme era in biserica cu Biblia in mina si cu expresie falsa de sfiala. Ce e si mai criminal, din punctul meu de vedere, este ca acesti abuzanti se folosesc de versete biblice ca sa manipuleze copii sau sotii/sotiile, au nevoie disperata de a fi el/ea capul, continuind fara sa-si dea seama un blestem generational. Exodus 43:7. Astfel provoca confuzie atat emotionala cit si neurologica in copii sau soti/sotii, provoca boala in corp produsa ca atare de la stresul tot timpul prezent, care incepe sa schimbe DNA-ul in celule si in general impleteste o imagina falsa si negativa a vietii si a lui Dumnezeu. Din punctul meu de vedere, asta este una din metode cu cel mai mare success a duhurilor negative impotriva lui Dumnezeu si creatiei lui. Aceste duhuri negative loveste in copii lui Dumnezeu cu intentia de a rani si de a provoca o atmosfera cheotica, unde pacea, iertarea si dragostea nu mai exista. Vorbesc din experienta. Pina nu am inceput sa iert nu am putut incepe procesul de vindecare. A ierta e cheie atit din punct de vedere fizic (vibratia pozitiva in corp aduce harmonie, ca atare vindecare), emotional (din punct de vedere neurologic, inima comunica cu creierul si cu sistemul digestiv prin a imprastia in corp hormoni si chimicale. Astea pot fi daunatoare ori hranitoare, depinde de starea emotionala a omului.) si spiritual (Efeseni 4: 31-32; e una din singurele cai in care ii legam miinile lui Dumnezeu si dam friu liber duhurilor negative, cu alte cuvinte ne facem singuri necazuri in viata). Multi dau vina pe drac pentru probleme lor, cind in realitate nu au decit sa se uite in oglinda, inclusiv eu. Singuri ne facem probleme dar e mult mai usor de a pune vina pe altul si de a fugi de responsibilitatile noastre decit de a infrunta necazul sau primejdia.

In viata intimpinam multe greutati, ceea ce Isus ne-a facut de cunoscut, dar cum le infruntam e diferenta dintre a crede ca Dumnezeu este de partea noastra sau nu. Emotiile prin care trecem in procesul durerilor e normal, pus in noi de la Dumnezeu, e atitudinea noastra fata de problema care face diferenta intre a zimbi sau a fi plini de furie, cum sint abuzantii care, in realitate, sint oameni slabi fara control sau putere. Si ei stiu treaba asta dar nu vor admite asta veac.

Pentru cei care au trecut prin valea neagra a abuzului: Imi pare rau de treaba asta. Sfat de la altul care a trecut pe acolo: iarta si gindeste in felul urmator-vreau sa fiu fericit/fericita, e mult mai important decit ura si revansa. Va lua timp, si va fi o vindecare treptata dar de meritat. A putea zimbi cu adevarat si cu toata inima si de a simti in propria-ti inima eliberarea trecutului e una din cele mai frumoase experience pe lumea asta. Pe cit posibil indeparteaza-te de abuzant si inconjoara-te cu oameni sanatosi mental si emotional, dar continua sa ierti. Sint zile cind trebuie sa-mi iert tata de patru, cinci, zece, saptezeci de ori. E okay. Continua sa ierti, asta nu inseamna ca trebuie sa continui sa te lasi abuzat (daca cu putin-ta, poate inca esti copil si stai cu parintii, in cazul asta, nu ura ca te ranesti pe tine insu-ti). Pe mine ma salvat Dumnezeu, desi in uram (datorita imaginii false si negative primi-te ca educatie de la un abuzant), dar in timp, usor mi-am deschis inima pentru ca am vazut dragostea reala (desi mi-a fost greau sa o accept o perioadade timp). Azi stiu cu fermitate ca Dumenzeu ma iubeste, pentru mine el este imaginea noua a unui tata si comunic zilnic cu el, cum as comunica cu un tata iubitor, daca as fi avut unul pe pamint.

Doamne, iti multumesc pentru ca esti cu toti cei in durere si abuza-ti, pentru ca ii iubesti fara nici o conditie atasata in mod manipulator, si ca le dai putere celor in necaz sa ierte si sa-ti simta dragostea in inimile lor. Amin.

 

 

The “beauty glow” of Lyme

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Photo above: new treatment for Lyme and co-infections. Burner protocol (Lyme 2) I always take it with Burbur-Pinella (helps with any hers reactions, in fact it keeps me from having one), Sida is for Babesia and I take it with Burbur detox as well, the Crypto-Plus is a Microbial tincture I usually take it with Pectasol C (not in the picture), Chlorella and Chlorophil are detoxing agents for mercury residue and other toxicity in the body. In addition I take Vit. C, D, B-stress complex, magnesium, Omega’s, Turmeric, and Progesterone cream.

My family’s story is unique to us, but I realize its not an unique story in the grand scale of things. These past few weeks, I’ve tried to paint an image of God’s blessings in our lives, depsite the hardships and disappointments.

I had time to write due to a relapse of the Babesia Duncani parasite somewhat like malaria, a co-infection pathogen of Lyme, that needs a different treatment than Lyme. The best treatment for me is either Artesunate IVs, but since my veins have been collapsing lately, I moved on to my second favorite and far less expensive treatment called Sida Plus Liquid Extract (tincture). It really works, even if a tad slower than an IV, but that’s fine with me. To say that I’m tired of needles is an understatement.

Speaking on behalf of Lyme sufferers, this battle is not a walk in the park, its more like swimming across the Atlantic Ocean expecting not to drown in the process. A bit unrealistic and far harder than it looks. Amids all the pain, neaurological issues and emotional turmoil, to hear the phrase:”But you don’t look sick” it’s demoralizing. I’ve heard that sentence many times, however I realized after a while, that I had the “beauty glow”, a glow you get when you’re a bit flushed, except Lyme fighters have a fever 90% of the time, usually a low fever. I either got the glow or the ghostly white look, it was usually in those two extremes. I love the glow:) But I wish I could zip off my skin and show everyone, on a molecular level, the intense battle going on inside. However, since I removed my mercury fillings I recover faster and I am stronger, even in my weak moments. We’re moving, thus the stress. In addition I’m going through the mercury residue detox, which usually can last up to six months. But it gave me an opportunity to share some memories with you, and I’ll continue to do so now and than, because I have more people in my life towards whom I feel gratitude.

I’ll add some Lyme humor and I know some of you will know exactly what I’m talking about:)

Before Lyme; Normal urine color.

After Lyme: I’m urinating blood because I ran out of the yellow color:)

Before Lyme: Garlic was a delicious ingredient in all my cooking.

After Lyme: Herx reaction inducer.

Before Lyme: Gluten was my best friend.

After Lyme: Gluten betrayed me deeply sending me to the ER, making me look nine months pregnant within 3 minutes after consumption while feeling 140 years old. The joint pain has been by far the biggest blow.

Before Lyme: Loosing my hair was a rarity.

After Lyme: I can make a pillow from the hair I lost last months alone.

Before Lyme: You gorgeous eyelashes, you:)

After Lyme: Who stole my eyelashes? Better bring them back!

Before Lyme: Desert was the thing to look forward to:)

After Lyme: Sugar is the priest above my coffin.

Before Lyme: What rashes? Never had those things.

After Lyme: Og my gosh! What happened to my skin! It for sneezed on by pink spots!

Before Lyme: Loved the crowds.

After Lyme: Hiding in my room is my favorite social activity.

Before Lyme: I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember.

After Lyme: What…. is there…words…nothing…bed.

To all the Lyme sufferers, have a good day today, you know, you new definition of a good day:)

 

Simona-Verisoara Mea

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La majoratul lui Alin, fratele mai mare a lui Simona. Din pacate nu e in fotografie. Eu cu Simona sintem in spate, cele mai copile:)

Simona, verisoara de pe partea mamei mele, e mai tinara cu citiva ani de mine, dar nu cu mult.

In 1976 parintii mei sau mutat din Bototsani, in orasul tinar numit, Hunedoara, oras construit in jurul noului Combinat Siderurgic Hunedoara, la insistenta unchiului Ionel, tatal Simonei. Cu economia subreda a Moldovei,  nu a fost greu pentru o familie tinara a fi convinsa sa se mute, mai ales cum locurile de munca erau din abundenta in Combinat, la acea vreme. Tata lucra ca rectificator si mama ca macaragista.

In contrast cu viata mea, Simona a dus o copilarie singuratica, datorita distantei de virsta intre ea si singurul frate al ei, Alin. In schimb a avut o viata bogata sociala in biserica Baptista din Cheangai. Cu doi parinti la lucru si numai doi copii, Simona nu a prea dus lipsa de nevoile materiale in schimb presiunea pusa pe umerii ei de a fi elev de nota 10 si singuratatea copilariei au fost o latura mai amara.

Primul majorat la care am fost invitata a fost a lui Alin, fratele Simonei si verisorul meu mai mare:) A fost o seara foarte frumoasa desi eram copila inca si cam stinghera vazindu-ma inconjurata de adolescenti mai mari. Dar nu am sa uit niciodata acea seara frumoasa:) Eu cu Simona, am petrecut momente frumoase impreuna, mai ales in timpul  de adolescenta, ori de cite ori ni se dadea voie de la parinti sa ne intilnim. La ea am petrecut si citeva nopti, jucindu-ne si vorbind de-ale noastre:)

Dar Simona mi-a fost de mare ajutor dupa ce l-am intilnit pe Chet si primeam scrisorile lui. Fata inteligenta cu cunostinte bune a limbii Engleze, Simona mi-a tradus marea majoritate a scrisorilor. (Edy mi-a tradus si el una sau doua scrisori). Cum primeam o scrisoare cum fugeam pina la Simona, si stateam pe balconul inchis (transformat intr-un refugiu perfect pentru a citi si visa) asteptind cu nerabdare sa-mi traduca cele scrise. Dupa acea, visam amindoua cu ochii deschisi, imaginindu-ne cum ar fi viata de casnicie sau ce diferenta este intre America si Romania.

Simona, de tinara a fost implicata in muzica si cinta mult in biserici. Cinta pina si in ziua de azi, si acuma, Adelina, singurul copil a lui Simona si sotului ei, cinta si ea profesional.

Mi-aduc aminte cam intre virsta de 10-13 ani, am cazut la pat intr-un fel de coma de febra timp de trei zile, si dupa doua zile de inconstienta non-stop, mi-am deschis ochii, si totul era confuz si ca in ceata, dar am vazut-o pe mama mea si tusa Ghinuta (mama lui Simona), pe scaune linga patul meu discutind incetul. Tanti Ghinuta avea o plasa de mere, si mi-a dat un mar cind a vazut ca am deschis ochii, dar imediat am plutit inapoi in lumea de intuneric unde am ramas iara timp de peste douazeci de ore. Fructele au fost intotdeauna o slabiciune a mea si le preferam in locul prajiturilor sau a bomboanelor.

Am memorii frumoase cu Simona si deabea astept sa o revad dupa atitea ani. Sper ca va fi curind. Iti doresc in continuare o viata binecuvintata draga Simona, si numai sanatate:)

Simona- my cousin

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First picture. Simona on her baptism day with a local friend.

Second picture.  Bunch of friends from the Baptist church Simona and her family attended on her older brother, Alin’s eighteenth B-day Party (not in the picture, in fact I do not have a picture of him). Simona and I are in the back, the two youngest kids there:)

In actuality, Simona is my third cousin on my mother’s side. Same as Mirela, but that’s another story for another time.

It was Simona’s father, Ionel, who enticed my parents to move all the way from Moldova to Transylvania, more precisely to the young city of Hunedoara, where a new steel factory just got built and jobs were “falling from the skies” so to speak. Moldova’s economy was in ruin, not sure if much of that changed today, and most of the young people migrated south, west and east all over the country, where jobs were easier to come by. Sergiu was the first-born in Hunedoara, (Alin and I were born in Botosani). My young parents moved to Hunedoara in 1976 and left that town only recently, moving closer to their remaining children in Romania. The move was unexpected and sudden due to my mother’s declining health.

Unlike me, Simona grew up in a much smaller family. Her only sibling was an older brother, Alin. The age and gender gap forced a lonely Simona childhood on Simona. However, during her adolescence that loneliness was well-balanced with a very active social life in the local Baptist church she attended. There she began her singing career and her lovely voice is also passed down to her one and only daughter.

Both her parents worked which it simply meant a better financial life, overshadowed by the high pressures for academic success. My parents never seemed to have time or interest about our academic success and we surprised ourselves how well we still did in spite of that. Simona’s parents on the other hand were hands on, diligent and persistent. Learning English was one of those academic demands and I was very glad she learned the foreign language, especially after I met Chet. I would take my letters and run all the way to her apartment eager to find out what Chet wrote to me. After words, with a  dreamy expression on our faces, we would lie down on her sofa or sit outside on her enclosed balcony wondering what a married life had to offer to our livers or how different American life was from ours. I would soon found out about both. I knew I was blessed with Chet in my life, and I saw the longing in many of my female friends but I couldn’t do anything about it except share pieces of this unique experience with some of them. Simona and I sure shared some nice times together:) Younger by a couple of year we hung out with each other only when we were allowed by our parents. I had a couple rare and precious sleep overs at her apartment and I loved the quietness, the books she had and the board games we played. Also the food, hmm, she always had good food:)

My first “majorat” as it is called in Romanian, which stands for turning eighteen, the age when you’re considered an adult in Europe, meaning you can drink (which we did not do) it was for Alin, Simona’s older brother-second picture. I was young both in age and mind, naive and gullible. In fact, Simona and I were the youngest two out of everyone there and tried hard to fit in and play along the fun games that were totally foreign to me. I lost a lot and tried to keep up a brave facade but I had a wonderful time that evening. The Christian parties of that time were very safe and had such an innocence to the whole experience, something I appreciated both then and later on in life.

Well, my little cuz (short for cousin) was a fresh breath of air for me, and I do remember one of my best friends having a crush on her, something that brought a touch of jealousy in my heart at the time:)))))

While in a three-day fever unconscious state, between the ages of 10-13 years old (can’t remember exactly), I do remember in one of my brief waking moments, Simona’s mother, miss Ghinuta, sitting with my mother by my bed side holding a bag of apples, apples she brought along for us. I always preferred fruits over deserts. I opened my eyes and they were talking to each other only to slip back into darkness for another twenty hours. Miss Ghinuta and her husband Ionel were always nice to me. Alin too, even though her liked to tease us any chance he got. At least his sense of humor was not dangerous and painful:)

Simona, if you read this, and I hope you will, I miss you and I look forward one day to see you and catch up on life:))))))

Thank you God for my cuz:)

La Multi Ani! Draga Chet

Crezind ca e fetita, parintii lui Chet i-au ales numele Jill, si au fost foarte surprinsi cind Chet a intrat pe lume ca baiat:) Ca frate mai mic, Chet a avut o copilarie normala, si numai un singur frate mai mare, Mark, care ia facut necaz prin intaritarile copilaresti.

De la bun inceput Chet a fost un copil dragut cu o personalitate buna si calma, placindu-i mult cartile de benzi desenate, motocicletele si tobele. In clasa a 7-a a intrat in fanfara scolii la tobe si la 13 ani si-a strins destui bani (a muncit pentru ei) ca sa-si poata cumpara prima motoreta.

Ca adolescent, Chet era prea timid si rusinos sa vorbeasca cu fetele preferind compania prietenilor lui; Ion, Mike si Jeff. Impreuna au facut multe nazbitii pe acea perioada. A doua zi dupa ce a terminat liceul sa mutat cu bunicul lui in Seattle, unde a avut o serie de pozitii de munca. La 19 ani, si-a dedicat viata lui Dumnezeu (Chet nu a crescut crestin si parintii lui nu sint crestini dar sint oameni de treaba) si sa hotarit sa invete cum sa lucreze cu miinile in caz ca Dumnezeu l-ar fi chemat in cimpul misionar. Asa ca sa mutat in Bremerton, si a inceput sa lucreze in constructii timp de doi ani. Asa a aflat ca ura domeniul de constructii si sa mutat inapoi la parintii lui, unde seara si-a continuat clasele de facultate dar in timpul zilei lucra la o companie de curent electric, pe urma la UPS. Atunci a salvat multi bani, pentru scoala de aviator dar Razboiul din Golf, care a inceput in 1990, i-a taiat visul.

Mark, fratele lui mai mare care numai ce a absolvit facultatea de video si film, l-a convins sa intre in business impreuna. Chet si Mark au inceput o cariera in domeniul filmului si a luat ceva timp pina sau stabilit financiar.

Intre timp, o echipa de misionari din biserica la care mergea Mark, condusa de John Stabb, au plecat in Romania si l-au convins si pe Chet sa mearga ca cameraman. Acolo m-a intilnit pe mine, m-a cerut in casatorie si a venit inapoi dupa cinci luni, dupa care am facut nunta si tot in anul acela, in Octombrie, am venit impreauna in America. Impreauna avem trei copii, Merrill, Meleah si Alex, si ducem o viata buna, multumim lui Dumnezeu:)

Ca tata Chet este extraordinar, si i-a placut din totdeauna sa petreaca timp cu copii. Vazind familia mea mare din Romania, Chet a vrut multi copii dar datorita sanatatii mele subrede ne-am oprit la trei.

Ca sot, Chet este excellent:) E un om calm, chibzuit si intelept. Impreuna am trecut prin multe dar datorita credintei si ajutorului lui Dumenzeu le-am trecut cu bine pe toate.

Azi e ziua lui:) Si ii doresc toata fericirea posibila din lume si sanatate maxima, ca merita:)

Te iubim mult Chet si fara tine viata noastra nu ar fi asa de frumoasa. Multumesc Bunului Dumnezeu  pentru un asa tata, sot si om bun:)

Chet-Happy B-day:)

Meant to be a Jill (his mom though Chet was going to be a girl and both parents were very surprised when Chet turned out a boy:), Chet was born in a young family of three. His older brother, Mark, is his only other sibling.

As a young boy Chet was very cute and his sweet personality was a breath of fresh air. His childhood was a normal one, shadowed now and then by his older brother’s teasing episodes. From an early age, Chet became fascinated with comic books, motorcycles and drums. As a result he began played drums in 7th grade, worked and purchased his first motorcycle at the young age of thirteen and owned a few nice comings books which he read often, loosing himself in the fascinating world of superheroes.

As a teenager he was extremely shy when it came to his interaction with the opposite sex and kept busy with his small gang of friends; John Adams, Mike Swanzey and Jeff Reid, getting in a bit of mischievousness.

After high-school, Chet moved out of Kingston and lived with his grandfather, Charlie, in Seattle. He had a series of odd jobs, some lasting only two weeks. At the age of nineteen Chet became a believer and wanting to be prepared for the mission field, in case he felt a calling in that direction, he moved to Bremerton where he began working in construction for couple of years. Not cut out for construction work, Chet moved back in with his parents, worked for Puget Sound and continued his collage night classes education. During this time he saved a good amount of money intent on going into the aviation school then career, but the start of the Golf War in 1990 put a stop to that dream.

His brother, Mark, who just graduated from film and video college pulled him into a new direction- a career in film and video production. Together they began a small business, that took a while to get off the ground.

In 1993, Chet got on a plane to Romania as a videographer of a local missionary team from Bainbridge Island leaded by John Stabb and met me, Carmen:) Six months later he returned to Romania, we got married and came back to America in October of the same year. Together, we had three children: Merrill, Meleah and Alex. Chet had a few jobs but slowly prospered in his film and video field, specializing in video editing. Today he works full-time at Amazon as a video editor and he absolutely loves it.

As a family man he moved around quite a bit, and settled in Seattle for the time being.

As a father, Chet is fantastic. His patience and common sense have been a God sent blessing and he absolutely loves spending time with his children.

As a husband Chet is the best. His patience and understanding helped me get over some part trauma, something I’m sure wasn’t easy on him at times but Chet was committed from the moment he said “I do.” He still owns comic books, a motorcycle and loves playing drums (even if not as often as he would like) and we have a great life together. To me Chet was absolutely God sent and I love spending my life along-side him. I absolutely love his dimples when he smiles:)

Today, is Chet’s B-day!!!!! Happy B-day my love and I wish you all the happiness in the world. The other emotions are more private and meant only for him;)

Thank you God for blessing this world with such a great man like Chet McKnight, and I know I speak for my kids and all the people that know him when I say: Chet’s a really great guy:)