Month: December 2024

Happy New Year!!!!

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment
Hi everyone,
Please enjoy my odd sense of humor. Here I go:)


Our annual Highlights letter. (I’ll most likely never remember writing another one in the feature, as I forgot to write one all these past years.) 


I don’t know about you, but this year for us was the same as the rest of you- unless you’re on drugs, then who knows what year you’re living in. We’ve had ups, significantly when we climbed some trees to cut dead branches, and downs- lots of work in the dirt-. Still, we’ve made it out more muscular, with better lungs and a better attitude (when you’re close to falling from a tree, attitude, and perspective adjust quick, fast, and in a hurry, I tell you.) 
We got one more goat, Frodo, formerly known as Diago, because we wanted to. We lost five chickens because life sucks sometimes. 
One of us, and I won’t say who has a booming business; another one of us moved from that faraway land, Seattle, to Sequim. Another one of us began to work, most passionately, on a ferry boat between Canada and Port Angeles. 
I’ve painted so much this year that I still dream of painting in my nightmares. I have pulled so many weeds from the garden that I don’t only dream about pulling weeds; my body sleepwalks me to the weeds left untouched, so I won’t slack even in my sleep. 
We’ve had people come over for delicious meals I stressed over to make- not always- and we laughed, and laughed, and laughed, mostly. A few people I didn’t like came over, too, but I’m not planning to invite them again in the feature, so no worries, all is taken care of. 
I found out I married a cowboy, not only an intelligent geek. He impressed me with his newly found talent in building stuff. It’s too bad for him. Now that I know his hidden talents, my to-do list has gotten ten times as long. But no joke, he’s good, and I’m good with that, except when he needs to spend money on the materials. I usually rethink my strategy. My loud mouth only went off 355 days this year. It’s a fantastic improvement from the past years. I must be happy. 
Boy, have we had visitors this year from Europe, that faraway land I’m originally from? We had a bloody good time in every aspect except the kidney stone, which I seem to get every year, specifically in February. What’s that all about? Is Valentine’s kidney stone special? But I’m heating my bum this year like never before, so I won’t have to go through the kidney accumulation process like a hoarder. Fingers crossed for this upcoming February. 
Well, not sure what else to tell you, so I’ll shut my trap here and wish you a Merry Christmas and a truly Happy New Year! 


P.S. Ugh, that was a lot of typing! By! Carmen_

God Bless:)


The pondering of time

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a blog. I’ve gradually felt better enough to spend time with my chickens, goats, and family in my large garden and backyard forest. I crave the simple life. I crave peace. I find it tucked away in the bosom of nature or the company of animals. That’s where I meet God. I no longer allow drama and toxic people to steal my energy, time, and peace. By helping such broken versions of people, I ended up breaking myself. I’m okay being alone. I love it. I miss some of you, but I pray for you often and wish you well daily.

My progress on the second edition of Yellow Matter is slow. The days of this year seem to have flown by irritatingly fast. But I’ll get there and bring out a better version of a story I absolutely love and find myself in repeatedly.

I keep in touch on the progress of some of your lives via Facebook, where I glimpse in a hurry every now and again. I’m always happy to see you do well and succeed in your life.

I wrote a prayer in the near past when I was momentarily struggling. Here it is:

God, I have to apologize.

At times during my life

I’ve allowed fear to go beyond the normal limits

And spill into the mixture of an ever-consuming torment plaster

Forgetting that I matter in your eyes, that I have value in you, and that’s enough.

For allowing guilt to scramble my thoughts and hunt my emotions

For not believing that you have my back,

For acting impulsively and messing up my conscience in the process.

For doing the right thing and getting frustrated that you did not respond the way I expected

For listening to my own voice and advice more than yours

For taking shortcuts.

For believing the lies in my mind instead of believing your promises

For refusing to take time to get advice from you

For thinking, I’m better than you

For thinking I can do it better than you

For being angry at how slow your response to my perceived problems is

For not having faith that you can help me or that you can help the country and the world.

For taking on my shoulders the burdens that are not mine, thinking I have Jesus’s powers to fix them, only to fall apart

For thinking, I’m better than others at times.

For thinking I’m less valuable than others at times.

For believing I take too much space on this earth.

For believing I don’t have the right to be in this world.

For thinking you are cruel.

For believing that you are stupid.

For wondering if you care.

Ignoring or choosing not to believe that I’m loved and wanted.

For always being afraid.

For not spending time with you.

For thinking the small moments of life I love and cherish are not good enough for me.

For worrying beyond reason.

For hating certain people.

For hating.

For wanting to die.

For thinking I’m a cancer to society.

For not appreciating the gift of life you’ve given me.

For cowardness.

For trying so hard instead of taking time to rest,

For allowing mental torment to strip away my peace and connection with you,

For turning my back to you,

For being afraid to connect with you,

For being afraid, you’ll ask too much of me If I connect,

For loving my comfort to the point that I became numb to other’s pain,

For carrying too much to the point of losing my peace,

For imbalance in my life, soul, and spirit,

Please forgive me.