Lyme Disease

Prayer for anyone battling an Autoimmune Disease

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

 

Father God, there may be more days lately of pain, sorrow and tears than joy and victory for some, but in the midst of such shadows, I thank you for our lives, for family, for friends, for this breath of life, even if quivering. You are on our side in the midsts of all this, and for that we’re thankful. We are not alone, you may feel alone, but you are not alone. Touch and shrivel cancer, MS, Lyme Disease, Chronic Fybromialgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, back pain, pelvic pain, Heart Disease, tumors, mental issues, bone problems, cardio problems, breathing problems, lymphatic problems, depression, neuro problems, muscular problems, broken heart, discouragement, trauma, abuse, and all other issues and illnesses not mentioned here, we wrap them in one bouquet of shattered pasts, and we let the light of God invade our bodies, minds, and souls with the  hope and joy, health in the body and mind, and our relationships restored between each other and God. Amen.

 

P.S. Tomorrow I’ll be praying specifically for lower back problems, please leave me your name only so I can bring you up in my prayers. Join me in prayer because where two or more are joined in the name of Jesus, he’ll be amongst us:)

God Bless:)

All inclusive

/ Carmen McKnight / 3 Comments

Why the “all inclusive” American political motto does not work for me (unless its a vacation package:).

I grew up in the Eastern European communism era back in the 80′ and early 90′, and have been discriminated against quite vehemently because of my religious beliefs and gender. Coming to America in 1993 was an eye-opening experience on multiple levels. While I loved the idea of being accepted in the new country and among the Americans, I soon learned about this country’s inner prejudices and was shocked. That taught me one thing- prejudice is not a country issue is a human issue. Conforming to American rules and culture it seemed a sensible expectation and I had no issue with it. Why would I? If I didn’t like it all I had to do is go back home, to my own country. It’s not easy to change and conform, it takes time and patience. To this day any reminder of my own culture is a welcoming sight and I am very glad I have friends and family living in America. Being a Christian I attended church right away. While the white church (the only church I attended) failed miserably to love the gay, prostitutes, homeless, black people (not all churches), or anyone else who was different than they were, the church still reached out and took part in many charitable acts of kindness, which impressed me. Sure it was far from perfect, but it was trying.

Moving to the Seattle area, where left thinking predominates and church attendance is at its lowest I’ve learned, and still am learning, many things. The opportunities here are far greater than back south where we used to live, the people are more open-minded… or are they? I find the same close-mindedness towards anyone that thinks differently than they are, especially politically, just like back in the south (Auburn area). The political agendas differ and an “all-inclusive” thinking, which at first sight seems wonderful, is wrapped in a false facade of acceptance. Violence can rise easily if you don’t agree with them, but mostly you’re going to get a passive-aggressive form of action and I find myself walking on eggshells around here because of the frail emotional status of spoiled people that have been babied by their parents far too much. The vibe is of a very narrow-minded individualistic liberal views, which completely contradict the enlightened stigma they give themselves. If you read this and you find yourself getting offended you must ask yourself why? I do the same when I get offended. Don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of nice people here, just don’t get political or religious and all is well.

Why “all-inclusive” move does not work for me? The school system, that’s why. I remember back in my school days being ridiculed and made fun of for being a Christian something oddly I got used to after a while and built an inner determination within, I remember the Jehovah witnesses’s kids always put in the back of the class and made to stand up for hours as a sign of shame, my brother Alin beaten by a teacher until blood poured out of his skin, the same brother locked in dark closets during his kindergarten time for hours at the time, teacher bursting into our apartment without knocking demanding this and that, to give you a couple examples. This was abuse accepted and enforced at the hands of a corrupt and hateful system and its happening here as well. Here, where people take pride in being enlightened and more moral than the nazi or the communists were, yet using similar bullying strategies. One of those strategies is sneaking perversive explicit sexual curriculum in the schools while keeping parents intentionally uninformed. This begins in kindergarten. I’m part of a book club here and I heard with my own ears the proud grandparents sharing with us about the sexual details the teachers talked to the kids in regard to reproductive organs (they put it more explicitly), sexual orientation, and other details. Tell me what is the difference in the brainwashing mechanism between talking faith in schools or this gross stuff? Why would a kindergartener whose main focus in those years is to play need to know about his and other’s sexual parts in such details that could damage them the same way a rapist would? As a parent I have the responsibility to teach my child, when I see fit, about any and all sexual education, the schools have the responsibility of teaching academics. From a medical point of view, this is a form of abuse towards the young minds.

Isn’t this a form of exclusivity thinking, Carmen? you would ask and I would say, this is a form or allowing the individual to choose. The all-inclusive nonsense is a very familiar communistic move, where individual thinking was a threat to the system. In all my 18 years of schooling in a communistic system, I have NEVER accounted the sexual filth the school system pushes nowadays in America (which is strategically placed in there and funded by certain organizations with a certain goal in mind, that research I leave it up to you.) If you think democracy and freedom of speech in this country today is not assaulted you’re gravely mistaken.

Black people should not have to fear for their lives. Only criminals of all colors and nationalities should.

Women should not fear to be abused and ignored. (The extreme feminism is going too far.)

Babies should not be killed. (Adoption facilities should be put in place and education made available.)

Education should be available for all who want to educate themselves.

The law of the land should be respected by anyone who enters this country.

Homeless should be taken care by us.

Mentally ill should be helped (mostly by exposing the Pharmaceutical industry for the lord drugs they are. )

I remember back when my kids began their schooling years and the subject of feelings was pushed more than academics. Well…feelings are an important part, not the most important, however. Why? they constantly change. One day I may feel a certain way only to change my mind in the next minute. Can I build a lasting…anything on such an unstable foundation? And for crying out loud feed our children the best of foods in the school lunch! We parents do care!

I woke up on the wrong side of the planet today and I looked around thinking: My God, how did I get here!

God Bless:)

Divorce

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Some days I feel just like a child who receives something amazing, does not fully understand it but in my excitement needs to run and share it with everyone. Today is one of those days:)

The only thing I remember is a brilliantly beautiful pair of eyes, a mix of blues and greens with touches of diamond sparkly splashes constantly moving in a slow rotating pattern, fully focused on my eyes. The sight was beyond beautiful. Slowly the eyes moved back revealing a stunning face on which feminine futures predominated, but just like the eyes, it was in a constant movement of transition from one look to another. I was looking at one person and a million simultaneously. It was absolutely stunning. The voice that came from another source, somewhere within myself, made me ponder and change my opinion of the being I saw.

“Its name is Divorce,” for she was neither female or male, yet both simultaneously and more than that, a spirit of unknown gender.

‘It changes constantly, never still, never the same.”

Then I woke up, feeling disappointed to learn that such a beautiful presence was in actuality such a destructive force. Divorce, for many, if not all, brings a fantasy realm of a better world than the one they have. Unhappiness starts when one stops looking at what they have and focuses elsewhere. You can divorce yourself from a human being, God, ideas, places. Divorce is the opposite of a constant spirit, the latter a characteristic found of God. What bothers me, is all the destructive and constantly moving ideas in our world  (they existed before our lifetime and will exist long after we die), that promote an inconsistent spirit and bring along the fantasy of a better life. It’s not as black and white this battle between evil and good (stop rolling your eyes, we see this in our movies, books, and real-life on a regular basis). The deception of the ages is factual; evil taking a deceitful form of good in order to destroy. You don’t believe me? Why then do we have murder, deceit, lust, racism, famine, abuse to name a few among us? What does the color of one’s skin have to do with their actual value as a human being? Why are defenseless babies killed? Why are women abused? Why so much hate? Because it looks mesmerizing in the beginning and by the time we realize what we’ve done we are smack in the middle of it all.

Like I said, in the beginning, I wanted to share this dream with you. I’m sure some of you will appreciate the knowledge. It’s a subject that has put me in a meditative state for a few days now. I pray for myself that I will have the wisdom to see beyond deceit, that means I need to learn the truth, a journey I began a while back.

Enjoy the wonderful weather and God Bless:)

 

 

Gut Level Cognition

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Have you ever had a gut feeling that you ignored and later on ended up regretting your decision? I’ve experienced that many times.

Emotions affect our gut feeling and our gut feeling affects our emotions. More precisely our bacterial health in the guts and neurologic signaling to the brain are affected by our emotional status controlled by fear, anger, stress, happiness, joy, etc. It either sends too many signals overloading and/or fatiguing the brain and body or sends miss-signals such as bad memories which are no longer happening but did so at one point in time, creating a perpetual state of alarm in the entire body and mind, such as the case in PTSD.

I’ve come to the conclusion, and I may be repeating myself here, that unforgiveness over past hurts, people and the decision of holding on to past painful emotions results in a weakened immune system, sometimes to a collapsing point. The good news, however, lays in body regeneration: every minute million if not billions of our cells die and new ones are born, but here’s the trick to keep in mind: cell memory. Cells have memories and will take the memory of the dying cell and continue the work until they too die and the new ones take over and so on. Do you see the pattern? In order to really heal, you have to retrain a new cell, build a new memory so to speak to the level of health you want those new cells to be. How? Start by imagining yourself healthy, or how you functioned when you were healthy and hold on to that. Talk to your body! I know, I used to find this step ridiculous until I realized that I was already talking to my body and have been for years telling it things like I don’t like my hair type, eye color, or fat content, breast size, butt size or stomach bulge. So reverse that speech. That being said, keep in mind to be realistic and okay with the body type you have, esthetic wise and focus on inner cellular health, for proper healing. After all, God gave each and every one of us our unique characteristics and we’re not meant to be a mass manufactured doll duplicates looking all like a blue-eyed, blond hair, big boobs, and butt girl do. I have girlfriends of all skin pigmentations, shape, size and age and I’ve learned good things from all of them. When I look at them I see the character before the body, yet the body and character unite to make the person precisely who they are. When I feel insecure I must remind myself that’s my own inner self-problem, a problem based on something I was at one time told with the intent to either hurt me, deflate from another’s pain, or share/spread one’s misery. A happy person simply can’t spread misery.

Another way to heal is by breathing. Just breath, and breath deeply. I realized only in my late 20s, at the suggestion of a naturopathic doctor, that I responded to any and all stressful circumstances by holding my breath. That’s how I coped back in my childhood while witnessing innumerable moments of trauma. We all have our own coping mechanisms, what’s yours?

These are more suggestions, I’m sure, but I’ll stop here, processing the few ideas I’ve put down in this blog is enough for now. Some illnesses are so far gone down a diseased road that complete healing may not be available yet. I do believe our bodies have the ability to heal in its entirety from all and any type of illness and disease, but I also believe we’re not there yet, knowledge-wise or belief-wise. Do all you can to heal yourself and envision such healing. I will not lie to you, it’s not easy when you’re not used to thinking that way but it’s possible.

 

My latest treatment:

NeuroCalm (Designs by Health brand, found on Amazon for around $54, and works fantastic for calming my nervous system),

CranActin (by Solaray, found on Amazon for $13.30/120 pill count, and it works fantastic for any urinary tract health, prevention or treatment),

MegaFlora for Women (by MegaFood, a probiotic supplement that supports Vaginal and Urinary Tract Health, Amazon for $43),

Quercetin (by Vital Nutrients, Amazon for $29, this is for respiratory and sinus, histamine support) + Bromelain (I take Bromelain and Quercetin together, By Jarrow Formulas, a pineapple enzyme that helps with inflammation reduction, Amazon $20),

Fungal Defend Tincture (By the Herbalist, Amazon $18, self-explanatory) Herbal-Biotic Tincture (The Herbalist, Amazon $18, promotes quick immune response),

Magnezium Malate (By Source Naturals, Amazon $15, supports muscle and energy production) and finally

Pro-Gest cream (By Emerita, natural progesterone due to pre-menopause lower levels of progesterone, Amazon $25, add a pearl size drop on the skin at night).

Most, if not all of these supplements are gluten-free, vegan, Non-GMO excellent brands products. Gluten-free, dairy-free, no processed foods or refined sugar diet.

For those who have time and interest, this is a great medical video. Speaker is Gabor Mate, a doctor, on “How emotions affect our cognitive functioning”.

https://youtu.be/UYvxlkCGmbQ

God Bless:)

Broken no more.

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

We all experience brokenness in ways familiar, unfamiliar and downright surprising, and most of us tend to feel shame when the scars of such an experience start to mark us.

I remember, about six or seven years ago now, one late evening I got a phone call from my siblings back home announcing me that our mother was ill and in the hospital. I was in bed already finishing a Bible study homework due the next morning at the women’s Bible study I used to attend for many years. But as I ended the conversation and began praying, my words were caught mid-sentence, never finishing my prayer because I began to see something God wanted me to see- a reassurance I’ll never forget.

I saw my mother with the help of this vision and I went inside her body and traveled like a small speck of dust within her circulatory system all throughout her body, seeing shadows in places representing illness and a normal light where health existed. In a blink of an eye, a liquid light brilliant like gold and diamond wrapped in thousands of acres of sparkles began moving quickly through her veins, her tissues, ner nervous system and as I watched a whisper spoke: She’ll be alright, don’t worry, the light will cure her. Then it was over and I never worried about her outcome knowing full well she would be fine.

When broken, the light of God moves within you eager to fill the holes and the cracks, creating a piece of art unexpectedly more different than your pre-conceived notions ever expected. If you take an honest look at it, you’ll allow yourself to see the same beauty God’s sees, it may look very different than your pre-conceived notion of beautiful, perfect, put together, normal, secure etc but it does not mean it’s any less radiant… if you just look you may just see its brilliance, and that’s when you’ll be able to really smile with a smile of pure joy and tell yourself…broken no more.

God Bless:)

Do it anyway.

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

How many of us have helped someone who took advantage of your kind heart? I’m sure there are some invisible hands raised, mine including.

Do it anyway, especially those who are ambassadors of Jesus. Showing love, forgiveness, mercy, and patience is not the same as letting others walk all over you, because what you give freely can’t be taken. In the past, I had many discouraging moments and felt much fatigue after people took advantage of my good intentions, but God’s been teaching me to “do it anyway”. In the beginning, I didn’t understand the importance of such advise, and I’m sure I haven’t completely grasped its benefits even today, but I have learned a few things along the way.

  1. When “I did it anyway” by choosing freely (not guilted into, manipulated, or forced) to show love and mercy, since forgiveness was a lesson I would learn it later on in the midsts of the great sadness of 2014-2016 which was the worst part of illness time, what I was really doing was to train my heart, train it to be more flexible, bendable and malleable, positive properties of one’s soul which God can work with. A hard, rigid and bitter heart, shatters when help comes in a form of constructive criticism, conviction or new information.
  2. When “I did it anyway” I made friends and not enemies, memories and not grievances.
  3. When “I did it anyway”, I chose my action but didn’t have to worry if the outcome was not as I expected, that responsibility was not mine to shoulder.
  4. When “I did it anyway”, I taught better lessons to my children.
  5. When “I did it anyway” I became closer to God.
  6.  When “I did it anyway”, even when it was hard, I protected my family’s hearts from anger and bitterness, a poison more deadly than most of us realize.
  7. When “I did it anyway”, without realizing, I collected favors which were returned at the most opportune time,  favors such as your prayers while too weak to fight alone in my own battles, favors like encouraging words when I had no strength left to encourage myself, favors like reminding me the right way when I was too scared and confused to see that way myself, but mostly the favor of life:) So do it anyway and see what happens in the long run. Life will not be void of pain, but it the midst of pain you will not lack friends and love, something far more precious than we realize.  God Bless:)

Noutati de mama noastra

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Miine, mama va pleca acasa, eveniment celebrat de ea cu bucurie si multumire. Datorita unei bacterii noi foarte rezistente va continua tratament antibiotic timp de sase saptamani. Datorita unor abcese de-a lungul sirei spinarii, nu are voie sa se ridice si sa umple, pentru ca este pericol de paralizie daca se sparg, asa ca transportul pentru dializa care il face de doua ori pe saptamana va fi cu ajutorul ambulantei, unde va putea sta intinsa pe pat. Desi parca nu par a fi noutati pozitive, noi suntem foarte fericiti sa o vedem zamband si razand, celebrand orice imbunatatire inlauntrul nostru. Va multumim din inima tuturor pentru rugaciunile inaltate spre cer la adresa ei, si ii multumesc Bunului Dumnezeu pentru dragostea lui:)

O zi binecuvantata va doresc la toti:)

Stiri noi de mama

/ Carmen McKnight / 1 Comment

Dupa o noapte plina de dureri insuportabile, calmantele nu si-au facut efectul deloc, mama a primit morfina, nu a rezistat la MRI, si a facut CT, unde au descoperit o punga de puroi, abces, intr-un muschi langa coloana vertebrala. E pe calmante foarte puternice acuma, si combinatie de trei antibiotice, si miine vor decide daca-i ii prea riscant sa faca drenaj. Acuma mama se odihneste dupa ce a putut manca un pic si va multumim din inima de sustinerile in rugaciune. Ne rugam pentru o vindecare completa.

Rebeca nu va fi operata!!! Doctorul a spus ca nu-i periculos, asa ca vor reveni inapoi cand va avea 6 ani.

Doamne multumim mult de o asa mama puternica:)

Update

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

God is good. Thank you for your support in prayers:)

Mom had a horrible night, full of severe pain, non-stop, and none of the sedatives worked. Today after some morphine, the pain became bearable and did a CT scan, right after she could’t lie down in the MRI more than a few minutes due to pain. The CT shows an abscess in a muscle close to her spine, which most likely is pushing against some nerves to produce such pain and none of the surgeons present there felt qualified to drain it. Neuro will tell us tomorrow if they could. She’s on a strong combination of three antibiotics now and strong sedatives, and mom was finally able to eat something and now she’s resting. Due to her kidney failure the toxins from all the medication is a concern, but we, the family, are so very glad to see her void of pain. No mother should have to endure such pain, no one in fact. She’s such a strong woman.

Thank you for your continued prayers and we’re glad they’ve found the infection and treatment is on.

After the doctor appointment today, my baby niece Rebeca will not have surgery:) The doctors don’t think it’s problematic other than the esthetics of it. So that’s good news as well:)

 

God Bless