ME/CFS or Conversion Disorder speech on Ted Talk

ME or Myalgic Encephalopathy, also known as CFS or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Conversion Disorder. 

It’s surprising how about 99% of her symptoms I dealt with and some which remain still deal with. The good news is that I feel soooo much better, despite the mild relapse the past month where I couldn’t touch my chin to my chest due to stiffness and intense pain in the back of my neck and fatigue unusually higher than usual. I’m back on Lyme 2 a tincture that helps calm down the symptoms. I still have a very stiff back neck that crunches all the time I touch but I am so grateful for life in general that I move along:) I have a part-time job now; two hours two times a week cleaning a house, and I’m so happy and proud of myself to be a working woman again. I have deep anxiety before I have to leave, but I take Neurocalm which helps me and this week I’ve just begun drinking Sarsaparilla organic tea which gives me quite a bit of energy and calms my central nervous system as well. Amazon has a brand I use called Buddha Teas, but there are other brands out there to choose from.

For all fellow Lyme Disease, ME, CFS, Conversion Disorder, Cancer and other Autoimmune Issues too many to name, I honestly pray for your complete health or at least bearable symptoms. The cure is out there, we haven’t found it yet. Meanwhile, keep fighting, keep researching and do whatever it takes to heal yourself because if we are to wait for western medicine to do it for us we’d all be dead by now. Maybe one day they’ll catch up as well because they’re seriously behind in autoimmune disease knowledge.

Merry Christmas to everyone reading this blog and a Happy New Year full of an unexpected improvement in your lives.

God Bless:)

Our world and its influence on us

As you can see from the pictures below, we’re living in a bubble during the following renovations months.IMG_3392IMG_3485-1E2F020C0-7348-405B-BDA7-3606DA812B47

Due to asbestos and lead findings in the windows seals, the whole building, along with all the windows, has been fully wrapped in a protective white plastic sheet. At least it’s not black:) Even though it’s suffocating and unpleasant at least is a temporary inconvenience. In comparison to other people’s lives who have been ripped apart by all sorts of tragedies, this inconvenience is minuscule. So I’m greatful.

I find myself outdoors taking daily walks and on such walks, sometimes, I bond with neighbors. This morning I was talking to a retired female who used to work for the Post Office and lived in Seattle, where she was also born, most of her life. There were a few years back in the old days spent in Canada when she used to be married to her first husband, who happened to be a Canadian. She liked living there, mostly but found herself frustrated over a few of the socialistic perks, specifically health care. While talking about this and that she turned the conversation towards the politics. I understood the temptation since we just had mid-term elections on the 6th of November. I could swear that suddenly I was talking to my in-laws. She used the same terminologies and verbiage, the same quotes and so on. The thing is, my in-laws and this woman never met, to my knowledge, yet her words were eerily similar if not verbatim to those of my-in-laws when it came to her political point of view. I walked away knowing such verbiage was learned from TV news reports or newspaper articles, which reminded me how powerful the media is in shaping people’s minds. And that gives me a lot to ponder on regarding my personal thoughts and beliefs which I constantly evaluate and re-evaluate and change when needed because inevitably our world has an influence on us.

On a personal note, I have a part-time job now and it feels fantastic to get back into the swing of things. I’ve joined a book club as well and being part of the community around me is good not only for the soul but for the body as well. Small steps, giant accomplishments:)

Chet’s B-day, yesterday, was a happy event celebrated in the intimacy of our family:) Next week we’ll be celebrating my beautiful girl Meleah’s B-day:) I can’t believe she’s turning twenty-two years old. Time sure flies when you’re having fun, or even when you’re not having fun:)))

Merrill moved in about three months ago and we’re complete again, even if a little cozy in the small apartment. I would much rather have it this way.

Happy with our lives, thankful to God for health, peace, and love. I hope you’re doing well. (For the Lyme sufferers or all other autoimmune disease sufferers, keep on fighting because there is light at the end of the dark and most days unbearably painful season you find yourself in now. Psalm 23 rescued me.)

God bless:)

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Loneliness during illness

I began this web/blog site with the intent to keep a track on my medical info, since my short-term memory was seriously injured- still is to a certain degree, which can be a fantastic blessing when I get frustrated over small things, because I soon forget them and I’m left without a reason to stay mad:). Another reason was to encourage, if possible, anyone out there in the same situation as mine.

I had a great job and relationships before the illness, my life was on a high peak of happiness and contentment and I worked hard to get there. That changed literally overnight. But something that took me by surprise was the loneliness that trickled in along with the illness, like two best friends, inseparable and intent on causing trouble. I was cast aside, no longer a productive and effective member of the society. I call it “the silent depression” and I now understand how horribly it afflicts the ill, especially the chronically ill, and the senior citizens. With Lyme, as with other toxic and neurological illnesses, the mental clarity and health deteriorates and one’s personality changes. I used to feed off the energy of multitudes of people and found solitude boring and useless. Not now.

So I sat down this morning having my breakfast of tea and a gluten-free/vegan carrot/banana bread (not my usual breakfast, but I baked last night:) thinking of all the other ill people out there in the world and the loneliness they may be experiencing. What can I say to be of encouragement? What encouragement can I receive for myself?

For those who believe in God remember that He used the most imperfect people, men and women, to do great things through. It’s never too late, you’re never too weak, to ill or too fragile to be a strong force for those around you. I am like Issac who was a dreamer, but God ended up doing great things through. What about you?

Rom. 12:15; 1 Pet. 4:10; Ex. 14:14-The Lord shall fight for you, and you shall hold your peace:) These are some verses to encourage you:)

For everyone:

Forgive.

Meditate on good things (health and a cure and remember not everything has been discovered. I strongly believe there is a cure for Lyme, Chronic Lyme, Neuro Lyme etc, even if it has not been discovered yet, but above that I believe that our body has the ability to heal from anything if given the proper balance of nutrients and extracting all toxicity out of it).

Help others. (That means even if you can only pray for them, or smile at them, or give one word of encouragement, it gives you a temporary break away from your troubles).

Make a plan for what you want to do when feeling better and start planning towards that. Here you’ll have to be realistic and change some of the past goals and plans.

The internet is a source to reach out, through support groups, but be careful not to get stuck in the negative cycle of complaining only. Some days you’ll need to unload, and you should do so keeping in mind that your audience is hurt too, but than don’t forget to smile and laugh. (Watch comedies).

The best cure for loneliness is health and being part of the society once again, until then fight like hell to get there, and I promise you once you make it to the other side a wiser person will emerge on the other side.

I’m reading this book now, and I love it. It’s a look into the human body/autoimmune/cell function with a biblical insight as well. For those who don’t have a passion for the medical field, this may be a bit boring, but it’s not hard to understand. Well written and an easy read.

http://www.scriptum.ro/librarie/mai-presus-de-stiinta.html

For those who want the book in Romanian.

God Bless:)

Vacation

Four years ago, in the middle of suffering and when my life was spent mostly in bed for months at the time in unimaginable pain, I kept my focus on a particular image; a sunny day in the future enjoying myself as a healthy woman in the middle of nature- God’s creation.  This day came to past a few months back, however, a week ago we enjoyed our first vacation since 2014, four years ago when I fell ill. I can not express the intense joy I felt during multiple moments throughout this vacation and the thanksgiving my heart expressed to God for having the opportunity to re-live such moments, even if at some point the body began to protest intense fatigue. All I did, was to take time and rest, then resume our activities.

Why am I writing this to you? Because you’ve read and seen the side of me through pain and now I want to share the other side, the side of health, the walk of health, the walk towards health. While in pain, I visualized daily the very moments I finally got to live this past week! In the past, although the body was full of death threats, no one could steal my dream hidden deep within. Never give up and if you feel fatigued in your body or in the spirit, take a few moments to rest, then go on keeping your focus on your own image of hope. For me, that image of hope was in the middle of nature, the very nature where my suffering came from through the tick bite but I was determined not to let this pain keep me a prisoner of fear.

If you are in the midst of suffering right now, what would your focus of hope look like?  Joy, peace, love, safety, new friends, health? These are the most important and in the end, these are the fruits of God’s love for us, the acceptance of our own being (the creation of God) and the love of our neighbor. Forgiveness is the way which leads to them, forgiveness and perseverance. (I know some of you will contradict this last part, as I too contradicted this part in the past, especially forgiveness. I found excuses, telling myself that I was not the one who needed to forgive, I was the hurt one and not the abuser, but I was blinded by my own anger and hurt. I forgive so I can heal. I’m also wise and not allow broken people to determine my destiny.)

I wish you a beautiful summer day, a beautiful holiday for those of you who are or will go on vacation and the grace of God may continue to be upon us as always.

God Bless:)

Gut Level Cognition

Have you ever had a gut feeling that you ignored and later on ended up regretting your decision? I’ve experienced that many times.

Emotions affect our gut feeling and our gut feeling affects our emotions. More precisely our bacterial health in the guts and neurologic signaling to the brain are affected by our emotional status controlled by fear, anger, stress, happiness, joy, etc. It either sends too many signals overloading and/or fatiguing the brain and body or sends miss-signals such as bad memories which are no longer happening but did so at one point in time, creating a perpetual state of alarm in the entire body and mind, such as the case in PTSD.

I’ve come to the conclusion, and I may be repeating myself here, that unforgiveness over past hurts, people and the decision of holding on to past painful emotions results in a weakened immune system, sometimes to a collapsing point. The good news, however, lays in body regeneration: every minute million if not billions of our cells die and new ones are born, but here’s the trick to keep in mind: cell memory. Cells have memories and will take the memory of the dying cell and continue the work until they too die and the new ones take over and so on. Do you see the pattern? In order to really heal, you have to retrain a new cell, build a new memory so to speak to the level of health you want those new cells to be. How? Start by imagining yourself healthy, or how you functioned when you were healthy and hold on to that. Talk to your body! I know, I used to find this step ridiculous until I realized that I was already talking to my body and have been for years telling it things like I don’t like my hair type, eye color, or fat content, breast size, butt size or stomach bulge. So reverse that speech. That being said, keep in mind to be realistic and okay with the body type you have, esthetic wise and focus on inner cellular health, for proper healing. After all, God gave each and every one of us our unique characteristics and we’re not meant to be a mass manufactured doll duplicates looking all like a blue-eyed, blond hair, big boobs, and butt girl do. I have girlfriends of all skin pigmentations, shape, size and age and I’ve learned good things from all of them. When I look at them I see the character before the body, yet the body and character unite to make the person precisely who they are. When I feel insecure I must remind myself that’s my own inner self-problem, a problem based on something I was at one time told with the intent to either hurt me, deflate from another’s pain, or share/spread one’s misery. A happy person simply can’t spread misery.

Another way to heal is by breathing. Just breath, and breath deeply. I realized only in my late 20s, at the suggestion of a naturopathic doctor, that I responded to any and all stressful circumstances by holding my breath. That’s how I coped back in my childhood while witnessing innumerable moments of trauma. We all have our own coping mechanisms, what’s yours?

These are more suggestions, I’m sure, but I’ll stop here, processing the few ideas I’ve put down in this blog is enough for now. Some illnesses are so far gone down a diseased road that complete healing may not be available yet. I do believe our bodies have the ability to heal in its entirety from all and any type of illness and disease, but I also believe we’re not there yet, knowledge-wise or belief-wise. Do all you can to heal yourself and envision such healing. I will not lie to you, it’s not easy when you’re not used to thinking that way but it’s possible.

 

My latest treatment:

NeuroCalm (Designs by Health brand, found on Amazon for around $54, and works fantastic for calming my nervous system),

CranActin (by Solaray, found on Amazon for $13.30/120 pill count, and it works fantastic for any urinary tract health, prevention or treatment),

MegaFlora for Women (by MegaFood, a probiotic supplement that supports Vaginal and Urinary Tract Health, Amazon for $43),

Quercetin (by Vital Nutrients, Amazon for $29, this is for respiratory and sinus, histamine support) + Bromelain (I take Bromelain and Quercetin together, By Jarrow Formulas, a pineapple enzyme that helps with inflammation reduction, Amazon $20),

Fungal Defend Tincture (By the Herbalist, Amazon $18, self-explanatory) Herbal-Biotic Tincture (The Herbalist, Amazon $18, promotes quick immune response),

Magnezium Malate (By Source Naturals, Amazon $15, supports muscle and energy production) and finally

Pro-Gest cream (By Emerita, natural progesterone due to pre-menopause lower levels of progesterone, Amazon $25, add a pearl size drop on the skin at night).

Most, if not all of these supplements are gluten-free, vegan, Non-GMO excellent brands products. Gluten-free, dairy-free, no processed foods or refined sugar diet.

For those who have time and interest, this is a great medical video. Speaker is Gabor Mate, a doctor, on “How emotions affect our cognitive functioning”.

God Bless:)

ER Trip

I know, I know, I’m getting tired of these ER trips as well, but yesterday, March 25th, that’s where I ended up again after I was woken up at 4 am with severe pelvic pain.

An hour and a half later we were in the ER where the seizure medication I was given intravenously helped me regain my speech (slurped speak, among other symptoms- if interested the home page has the details) and visual focus.

I’m extremely grateful I’m alive and we keep on going with all the good, bad, and everything in between. Chet was amazing, yet again, through the whole ordeal, since I couldn’t talk really well and mostly out of it.  I pray that God will give him health and strength forever. My son Merrill, who was visiting us came along as well, and I hope he wasn’t too freaked out seeing his mother seizing like that. But he’s a strong young man and I’m so very grateful to God for my entire family. People are what matters in this world, not material things. People.

God Bless.