Seizure

 

 

I hope you get a chance to relax and enjoy this little video I shot and put together for you. Meditate on the things that matter to you, as I also do.

You see last week I had a nasty seizure which threw me back on my progress chart a few degrees, both physically and emotionally. It’s not easy to climb over thoughts such as “not again”, “will I ever”, “I just want to be” etc but giving up its not an option for me since I have too much to lose and would hurt too many people that I love. So I must go on. But getting back up, and moving forward while hurting, having half of my body not functioning as it should and wondering how long will it take until I fully recover is not as easy as you may think. I wish I could be poetic about all this but pain and struggle bring more misery than poetry (unless its some sort of emotional heartbreak and then you should see my muse dance and come up with all sorts of rimes and wisdom:) But for now I try not to fall on my face as I experience dizziness, I try not to walk into walls as my balance seems to be taking a vacation, and I try to smile through the pain all my limbs seemed to join in. I am weak and strong, frail and tough, happy and sad.

What caused such a relapse? Accumulation of stress (I like to collect:) Nasty flue which left a frail immune system exposed, taking up nursing duties as my family laid ill in their beds, work, and the happy visit of my cuz. But the body can’t recognize happy stress from bad stress, just files all that info in the “STRESS” file of my life while smiling knowing what’s to come. But I drove downtown! Took my cuz and my daughter to the Seattle Space Needle and other places and I’m sure inside my head there was a small voice protesting to all the exitement…which I clearly ignored. Did I learn my lesson? Depends on which side of the lesson you are. I would say, yes, then explain. I’ve learned that I have the strength to drive downtown (even if for a day every few months:) I’ve learned that my body is getting strong and able to handle more fun, I learned that relapses do happen and not to focus on them, I learned I’m fun again! Even if in a small increment at the time:) Did I learn my lesson? You be the judge, but I no matter what you decide I smile the whole way because I DROVE DOWNTOWN SEATTLE AND HAD FUN WITH MY CUZ AND DAUGHTER ON TOP OF THE SPACE NEEDLE, and that to me is priceless and worth every muscle twitch and pain;) I would do it all over again the same way, no regrets. Now go have a good time living life in whichever increments of strength you can muster, and when herxing (for my Lyme warriors or all with any autoimmune troubles:) smile because you got to the herxing reaction by living life and in the end you had a say, a choice, not the stupid illness that’s trying to kill us:)

God Bless:)

It’s been a while since we talked

D516A709-B2B0-4A0F-8052-D12A5AB364E9What a great summer this one was for us:) The apartment construction work is almost done. I had the most wonderful and unexpected visit for Easter from two of my brothers: Sergiu came from Germany and Flesh came from Romania. IMG_0666They took me completely by surprise:) We had a great time showing them Seattle, among other things and after they left and the weather warmed up, Chet and I spent many hours cycling on bike trails with my in-laws:) IMG_8327I also took lots of macro photos, a hobby of mine, and you can see one such photos at the very top (honey bee on a clover:)

I’m getting stronger every day. I have changed my Lyme tincture treatment to a new product and so far I think it helped me the most (or I’ve had lots of help from previous treatments and this one sort of sealed it). It’s a new product I found on Amazon called Holistic Tincture 7, made in Germany. It’s a 13 Herb tincture (Japanese Knotwood herbage, Teasel root, Cats Claw flower, Coriander herbage, Garlic, Hawthorn leave, Sarsaparilla root, Devil’s Claw root, Boneset leave, Astragalus root, Olive Leaves, Panax Ginseng root, Ginkgo leave) specifically design for those suffering from Lyme. Currently unavailable on Amazon as of today, but you can go directly on their website at http://www.biotraxx.eu to order. Heads up their info is in german (Amazon has an English version), and you need to take 20 drops three times a day for 6 months. One bottle lasts about 2.5 weeks. IMG_0265.jpeg

It really helped me so I hope it does the same for you:) (The cost is around $28 per bottle plus shipping $7).

This year we’ve celebrated our 26th Wedding anniversary:)B26CB92F-1A70-4DC3-9F93-62BD8A5CC31E

I’m grateful and I’m looking forward to the wonderful things to come in this life:) So keep on fighting for those ones not yet on the other side because there’s hope:)

Here are a few more pictures I like sharing with you:)

Have a blessed day and talk to you soon:)

Living Proof-MS Hope

http://www.mshope.com/

https://www.seelivingproof.com/

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6604174/

I’ve watched this documentary a couple of days ago while in sickation (sick vacation) on MS, knowing people who struggle with this disease, and I strongly recommended to all MS patients out in the world.

About a month ago, unbeknownst to me I began eating a vegan product (fake bacon) and loving it. I would make sandwiches with it and top it with pepperoncini, lettuce, cucumbers, and vegan cheese and smile all the way to the last bite. Then I began feeling some of the old symptoms creeping up, symptoms such as severe fatigue, foggy memory, walking into things, nausea, fever, dropping things all the time, to name a few. Relapse or Lyme-flare was my diagnosis and began treatment right away. It would work until it wouldn’t. I upped the dose and went around the same circle. I would get better only to get worse. What in the world was happening? My joints hurt so bad, especially my hips, I was having a very hard time walking. Meanwhile, I was happily eating my vegan bacon sandwiches. About one week ago, as I was getting ready to make yet another sandwich Chet read the ingredients, for his own reasons, and exclaimed.

“Carmen, did you know this bacon has gluten? Sugar, water and gluten in concentrated form?” My brain was too foggy to process the info I was just receiving and it took me a good while before the truth absorbed between the smoky creases of my brain and into the information center where it could be processed before a response was delivered.

“What?”

“You’ve been on a gluten feast for a month!” He exclaimed in response as we both began laughing. Such privilege yet no recognition.

Well, my vegan sandwich days came to an abrupt halt. It will take a good while until this intake of gluten will be out of my system, meanwhile, I learned a few more lessons.

  1. I’ll stick to real bacon and leave the vegan diet for Chet (who’s been a vegan for the past two years now).
  2. This gluten intolerance issue is not in my head, it’s not a mental/emotional issue I came up with and just need to snap out of it, it’s real and there’s a reason why. This second point goes along with some of the information in the Living Proof MS hope documentary done by Matt Embry who was diagnosed with MS about twenty years back and fights it different ways but mostly through diet, exercise and supplements like Vit. D. Diet is the evil of most diseases and the medicine for all cures.
  3. Read and inform yourself well, without assuming, like I did, that a vegan product automatically means a gluten-free product.
  4. I balanced back quite fast once I stopped the gluten, which tells me my body and mind are serious about getting better:)))) But, I got the flue, along with every single member of my family except Alex. They’ve been in bed for a whole week before showing any signs of life. Today is Chet’s first day back to work after an entire week spent on a horizontal sickation.
  5. Grateful. There’s always a solution for every problem, just read the fine print:)
  6. P.S The words look a little funny to me so any grammatical or expressive mistakes are due to my gluten feast. God Bless:)

Lyme flare-up

This post is specifically intended for Lyme sufferers out in the world. It’s meant to inform not to extract sympathy. 

It began about one month ago, with abnormal fatigue on top of the regular fatigue I still feel most days, then my vision began suffering then my joints began aching, predominantly my hip joints. It got so bad I had a hard time walking. I began tripping constantly, dropping things and walking into furniture or walls. My brain saw the object but could not shoot a response fast enough for me to avoid the collision. I am bruised all over. I began having muscle spasm, forgetting words, and extra sensitivity to noise.  Headaches and constant flu-like symptoms. I’m still sneezing. But when I felt the muscles of my jaw begin to tighten up, the first symptom of a seizure, I knew I needed to do something.

I cut the sugar out of the diet ( high cravings and consumption the past few months). As some of you know sugar suppresses the immune system. I got back on Lyme treatment (see the picture- missing from the photograph is EHB or Immune Supporting Nutrients by Integrative a fantastic supplement and spirulina or chlorella), I continued drinking tea (sarsparilla, green, and calming, mushroom, all organic), I began drinking the juice of a squeezed lemon in the morning to help clean the liver, since it was found stagnant in my recent acupuncture appointment (What? Yes I do acupuncture, it has helped me about 8 times more than any western medicine ever did). Proverbs 18:9. I increased the intake of vegetables (I don’t really like vegetables:) in my diet and cut out meat for now since I noticed a bloating presence after consumption. I’m still on a gluten-free and dairy-free diet, you could say I’m slowly becoming a vegan, something Chet will be happy about (he’s been a vegan for two years now). Two days ago I’ve had the first decrease sign in joint pain (that’s also when I began taking the spirulina/chlorella pills so it’s no coincidence there) and I no longer walk in slow motion while wobbling, my energy is gradually increasing and my brain is clearing up. I’m still walking into things but not as often, I’m still dizzy at times, I’m still sneezing and have a runny nose but my joint pain is much lower. I sleep better and can go for a walk.

What caused it? Stress. 

From what? From the noise caused by the construction workers who drill and hammer all day long. Noise and bad vibrations affect those with a compromised immune system far quicker than otherwise healthy people, but I knew it was bad when every single person on our floor, minus the workers, complained how bad it is. Work. Despite the fact that my work is a positive element in my life, the body can not differentiate positive stress from negative and the damage is still present. Am I going to quit my job? Heck no. I love it too much. Noise: I love the loud mouth Damian/Romanian blood running through my kid’s veins:)))) They’re loud when they are in the comforts of their home, which for now is here with us. They joke constantly and tease each other mercilessly with a contagious humor flare that put both, Chet and I, in good moods while we giggle alongside:) But this sort of happy loud environment does not go well with sensitivity to noise flare-ups, so many times I have to find refuge in my bedroom and veggie with a book or my I pad. Diet. Too much sugar and not enough veggies in my diet as I’ve mentioned before would do the trick:) Emotional: The only issue I can see is our lack of view to the world out there since the building is still wrapped in white plastic and will remain wrapped until May, obstructing the natural light and sun from coming in our condo unit.  Low Vit. D is a doozie.

I‘m fighting my way, happy to have the knowledge and know how to get back on track. So far so good, no doctor appointments of IV’s (which I loathe).

Every Lyme sufferer that reads this blog, please keep in mind (as most of you already know) that Lyme affects different organs and systemically can run with small symptom differences. Every single body reacts differently to medicine, so be cautious and pay attention to your own body if you have Lyme flare-ups and need to get back on treatment. Some treatments that at one point worked for me I noticed they don’t work now and I have to back away.

All in all, I’m so grateful to God for everything I have, the knowledge to know how to handle a situation like this without being scared, the strength to go through a flare-up and still be able to work (that right there to me is a sign of fantastic improvement), to be able to slowly introduce myself back into society (I’m part of a book club here in Magnolia, and Chet and I have game or movie nights with different neighbors. I drive all over Magnolia as if I own the place, but I haven’t adventured farther then upper Queen Anne yet:) No matter the troubles in life there is always hope. Always.

God Bless:)

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John and Paulette Stabb

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(In limba Romana la sfarsit)

On Christmas day while on the ferry making our way to my sister-in-law for Christmas dinner we ran into old and excellent friends, in fact, if not for John Stabb and his trips to Romania after the Revolution in 1989, I would’ve never met Chet:) God works through people.

It’s through them that we found out about Summer and Aurel Macsim, his daughter and son-in-law who live in Hunedoara, and that’s how we found out about Aurel’s Glioma tumor diagnosis on December 31, located in the right side of his head. Since he had an operation on January 4th in Timisoara and the recovery road, although good, is long and tiresome. Just like many of you who know them and their situation we kept them in prayers and thank God for brother Aurel, as some of you know him, recovery. I believe tomorrow he’ll be transferred back to the hospital from Hunedoara.

For some, the recovery is short of a miracle while for others may take time, but if we have faith and believe we don’t go through the suffering alone. God is on our side. Caringbridge.com (aurelmacsim) has regular updates done by Summer, his wife.

We continue to pray for Aurel and Summer through the recovery process and thank God for their well-being.

 

 

În drum spre cumnata mea în ziua de Crăciun ne-am întâlnit cu niște prieteni dragi pe care nu-i mai văzuse-m de mulți ani.

După Revoluția din 1989, John și Paulette Stabb au bătut pământul românesc mulți ani de zile ca misionari, aducând biblii și propovăduind evanghelia. Prin John l-am întâlnit pe Chet 🙂 Dumnezeu lucrează prin oameni.

Stând la povești am aflat că Summer, fata lor, este căsătorită cu un băiat din Hunedoara, Aurel Macsim și împreună au adoptat o fată. Pe 1 Ianuarie anul ăsta Aurel a fost diagnosticat cu o tumoare la cap. Operația a avut loc pe 4 Ianuarie în Timișoara și drumul de recuperare, deși bun, este lung și obositor.

Ca mulți din voi care-i cunoașteți și cunoaște-ți situația lor, i-am păstrat în rugăciuni și mulțumim lui Dumnezeu pentru succesul operației. Cred că mâine va fi transferat înapoi la Hunedoara. Operația, în general, este scurtă în comparație cu procesul, de multe ori descurajator, al recuperării. Dar victoria este a lui Dumnezeu și spre slava lui Dumnezeu. Amin.

Pentru mulți care suferă recuperarea poate veni sub formă de miracol, pentru majoritatea din noi timpul suferinței se prelinge dar dacă avem credință nu vom trece niciodată prin suferință singuri. Dumnezeu este de partea noastră.

Caringbridge.com (aurelmacsim) are actualizări făcute de Summer, soția sa.

Continuăm să ne rugăm pentru Aurel și familia lui, pentru procesul de recuperare și mulțumim lui Dumnezeu pentru bunăstarea lor.

Psalmul 23 este și va rămâne pentru mine un capitol special din Biblie care mi-a adus mângăiere în timpul suferinței. Vi-l recomand:)

Dumnezeu să vă binecuvinteze pe fiecare în parte. Amin.

ME/CFS or Conversion Disorder speech on Ted Talk

ME or Myalgic Encephalopathy, also known as CFS or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Conversion Disorder. 

It’s surprising how about 99% of her symptoms I dealt with and some which remain still deal with. The good news is that I feel soooo much better, despite the mild relapse the past month where I couldn’t touch my chin to my chest due to stiffness and intense pain in the back of my neck and fatigue unusually higher than usual. I’m back on Lyme 2 a tincture that helps calm down the symptoms. I still have a very stiff back neck that crunches all the time I touch but I am so grateful for life in general that I move along:) I have a part-time job now; two hours two times a week cleaning a house, and I’m so happy and proud of myself to be a working woman again. I have deep anxiety before I have to leave, but I take Neurocalm which helps me and this week I’ve just begun drinking Sarsaparilla organic tea which gives me quite a bit of energy and calms my central nervous system as well. Amazon has a brand I use called Buddha Teas, but there are other brands out there to choose from.

For all fellow Lyme Disease, ME, CFS, Conversion Disorder, Cancer and other Autoimmune Issues too many to name, I honestly pray for your complete health or at least bearable symptoms. The cure is out there, we haven’t found it yet. Meanwhile, keep fighting, keep researching and do whatever it takes to heal yourself because if we are to wait for western medicine to do it for us we’d all be dead by now. Maybe one day they’ll catch up as well because they’re seriously behind in autoimmune disease knowledge.

Merry Christmas to everyone reading this blog and a Happy New Year full of an unexpected improvement in your lives.

God Bless:)

Our world and its influence on us

As you can see from the pictures below, we’re living in a bubble during the following renovations months.IMG_3392IMG_3485-1E2F020C0-7348-405B-BDA7-3606DA812B47

Due to asbestos and lead findings in the windows seals, the whole building, along with all the windows, has been fully wrapped in a protective white plastic sheet. At least it’s not black:) Even though it’s suffocating and unpleasant at least is a temporary inconvenience. In comparison to other people’s lives who have been ripped apart by all sorts of tragedies, this inconvenience is minuscule. So I’m greatful.

I find myself outdoors taking daily walks and on such walks, sometimes, I bond with neighbors. This morning I was talking to a retired female who used to work for the Post Office and lived in Seattle, where she was also born, most of her life. There were a few years back in the old days spent in Canada when she used to be married to her first husband, who happened to be a Canadian. She liked living there, mostly but found herself frustrated over a few of the socialistic perks, specifically health care. While talking about this and that she turned the conversation towards the politics. I understood the temptation since we just had mid-term elections on the 6th of November. I could swear that suddenly I was talking to my in-laws. She used the same terminologies and verbiage, the same quotes and so on. The thing is, my in-laws and this woman never met, to my knowledge, yet her words were eerily similar if not verbatim to those of my-in-laws when it came to her political point of view. I walked away knowing such verbiage was learned from TV news reports or newspaper articles, which reminded me how powerful the media is in shaping people’s minds. And that gives me a lot to ponder on regarding my personal thoughts and beliefs which I constantly evaluate and re-evaluate and change when needed because inevitably our world has an influence on us.

On a personal note, I have a part-time job now and it feels fantastic to get back into the swing of things. I’ve joined a book club as well and being part of the community around me is good not only for the soul but for the body as well. Small steps, giant accomplishments:)

Chet’s B-day, yesterday, was a happy event celebrated in the intimacy of our family:) Next week we’ll be celebrating my beautiful girl Meleah’s B-day:) I can’t believe she’s turning twenty-two years old. Time sure flies when you’re having fun, or even when you’re not having fun:)))

Merrill moved in about three months ago and we’re complete again, even if a little cozy in the small apartment. I would much rather have it this way.

Happy with our lives, thankful to God for health, peace, and love. I hope you’re doing well. (For the Lyme sufferers or all other autoimmune disease sufferers, keep on fighting because there is light at the end of the dark and most days unbearably painful season you find yourself in now. Psalm 23 rescued me.)

God bless:)

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