Dealing with the ugly parts of healing

Talking to a friend recently about the reality of a healing process, more precisely, the ugly parts of healing, inspired me to write this blog.




healed; healing; heals

Synonyms of healing

transitive verb



to make free from injury or diseaseto make sound or whole

heal a wound


to make well againto restore to health

heal the sick



to cause (an undesirable condition) to be overcomeMEND

the troubles … had not been forgotten, but they had been healed—William Power


to patch up or correct (a breach or division)

heal a breach between friends


to restore to original purity or integrity

healed of sin-

Easier said than done. Right? You read the book, listen to the motivational video, change your diet, buy the right supplements, and expect the miracle of healing to slap you strong right away. Instead, your car breaks down on the way to the doctor, you forget if you took your medicine and debate how bad double-dosing will be for your body, so you choose to skip it, your body itches, hurts, aches and throbs, your heart is heavy, broken, fatigued, your parents expect too much from you, so do your children and spouses, the lawn needs to be mowed again, the garden watered and “what am I going to cook for dinner tonight?” is the question that haunts you very afternoon. Those are the usual challenges. But when you have to deal with a narcissistic parent, abusive spouse, and ungrateful or hateful co-worker who takes their health and independence for granted and expects you to do the same, it drains all the positive work you’ve done on yourself. It leaves you furious, disheartened, and disappointed with life, people, and everything. You rage, scream, cry, and plead because, at the end of the day, all you’ve ever wanted is to feel good in your body, mind, and soul. None of the prayers worked, God seems gone on vacation, the support group is either non-existent or fatigued with you and all your perceived BS: maybe you’re making this up, maybe you don’t have enough faith, maybe you’re just an attention seeker, or maybe you lack imagination and drive so you choose to get attention via your “pretend” illness.

These elements are also part of healing, everpresent hiccups, step-backs, and irritating interferences. One can’t change a life-long habit without reversing the things known and comfortable. The key is to move forward again and again until you make it. Some days this odd progress is entirely knit from one step forward, one step back. No worries, keep going. Keep learning new ways to heal, and leave the destructive parts of oneself behind. Keep going towards the final goat.

It takes time to change something and effort not to return to the old ways of thinking and acting.

God Bless

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