This year has been a diverse year for us. Here are some highlights:
-B-day and Holiday celebrations with our loved ones
-Chet, Alex, and I took a road trip on the Pacific Coast Highway
-Lots of time spent in nature
-ER trip for me and my oldest
-Visited by a white dove for one week
-Chet stepped on a rusty nail on the 4th of July
-I took the hobby of painting back up (available soon for sale)
-Moving- we bought a house in Sequim and moved from Magnolia, Seattle
-Funeral and grieving: Merrill lost his best friend suddenly and I lost an aunt
-Chet helping Merrill install his TV in his new apartment
-Rocky, our dog had a pet visit. He’s on medication for hyperthyroidism
-Alex began a new job at Sequim
-I got a new car
-Lots of work around the new place
And that about wraps it up.
People we lost this year and I’m still in shock and mourning over the loss:
Tanti Elvira
Daumantas
People we lost last year:
My mom
My grandma
Our pet Mica
Damean family highlights:
Lots of moving! Lots of my siblings purchased homes this year- a total of five to be precise, including Chet and I- and some moved from country to country, or to be more specific they moved back to Romania either from England or Germany, others remained. There are two sets of twins expected to arrive next year, and both sets of twins are not identical. So lots of new beginnings for us. I think my mom is coordinating some particular business up in heaven on our behalf:)
At the end of it all I’m so grateful to God for being with us, bringing comfort when we needed comfort, strength when strenght was needed, peace when peace was in low doses, joy when sadness threatened to overwhelm us, love when we felt alone, and mercy when we hate was too high around us. Thank you God for another year! God Bless:)
Today my little brother would’ve turned 31 years old. What a youngster! I’m nearly 50 so to me he’s a baby:) He’ll always remain 11 years old to us, that’s the age he was when he died, and he’ll always have a special spot in our hearts:)
I like to imagine him having a great time with mom and my grandparents and all our relatives that have passed away while waiting for the rest of us. I like to imagine him smiling, void of pain and disease, and completely happy.
Happy B-day Fanu from your family still left here on earth! We’ll meet again someday- hopefully not too soon;) Love you, little brother.
I came across this poem I’ve written a couple of years ago when the pain was still intense and every day was a struggle. Looking back brings mixed emotions in my heart: on one hand, I can’t believe what I had to go through on the other hand I’m celebrating life and feeling better:) I wanted to share it with you in hopes that it may bring you some hope. You’re not alone. And that in itself feels good.
“Your party is so fun, but I can’t stay.”
“Why not? Don’t tell me. Feeling sick again?
What’s wrong with you? It’s maybe in your head.
Just stay! And drink! Soon you’ll feel the sickness fade.”
“No thank you, I must go, my friend.
I know you mean well, but I’m fighting,
Something bizarre.” And I got up and gathered all my strength
To say goodbye to all the other guests,
Some dear sweet friends, a few I didn’t know at all.
Once in the car, I hung my head real low.
“I feel so bad.” “Will pass.” My husband said.
“Not about that, I feel fake, I can’t withstand
The energy a party thus requires anymore.
I’m a bad friend.”
“Sweetie, no you’re not.
You need your rest. In truth, I’m glad to go.
The loud dance music, drinking, and the show,
Is not my thing. I’d rather go, and spend
The evening just the two of us, alone, eating some bread.”
Emotionally I was relieved.
But physically my eyelids were so heavy,
The body, craving safety and some rest,
It kept reminding me of one sure truth,
I was no longer superwoman.
Once home I climbed into our bed
And watched some “House MD” my favorite show.
I’ve lived in bed for many days and months now.
To go downstairs for a piece of bread
Was a survivor’s effort I did dread
As heavy, deep fatigue was now my plague.
A phone call from my friends became rare
As I kept suffering in bed, all hope but frail.
When someone called I lifted painful hands
And held with effort, the black plastic thing we call a phone.
“Hello?” “You feeling better? You left again so early.”
“So sweet you called. I was exhausted.”
“Are you okay?” “Not really, but I hope one day this too will end.”
“What is it?” “Don’t know, the doctors are dumbfounded.”
No diagnoses meant no cure.
And days passed slowly and the calls faded for sure.
I heard some gossip going on behind my absent self:
“She’s just pretending. She’s not that sick.
Attention seeking. My gosh, that’s awful! How pathetic. I know.”
And I did wish I was that stupid, to seek attention in that way
But pound by pound my flesh shrunk quickly
A thin ghost figure living in my house instead
That lingered like a feather ready to be spent.
And test by test and some more blood.
No answers. Just frustration and an empty bank.
My God! I’m passing all too soon. I’ll miss my loved ones.
Make sure my kids don’t hate you cause I worry.
I pray my hubby will find peace after I’m gone. Protect them.
I am not ready. With one shallow breath: I’m scared and somewhat numb.
Yet, morning after morning my eyelids, although swollen and in pain
Kept opening, reminding me that hope was raining in my lane.
Ten months now passed, too many tests to count,
I get a phone call. It’s a Sunday. Pick up my cell. The doctor:
“It’s Lyme disease, the test is positive.”
A diagnosis! Great! I’ll have a cure! But no.
A neurological dark storm would steal some more,
Would bring me further to the hollowed grave’s door.
I stared at Death and made a deal:
“I’ll fight you! I won’t go without a shrill, a temper tantrum, and a prayer wheel!”
“Go right ahead dear, in the end, I always win.”
And then and there I thus knew
My end was coming. Prayed some more:
“God you must have the final say, I’ll be prepared.”
And thus he did. Four angels there they stood
In all four corners of my bedroom
Tall, strong, and guarding, silent like a tomb,
Too tall to see the end of them, but oh so sure
They were of themselves. “Thank you I whispered.”
To them and God. “But why? I am a no one.”
“That’s not true. You’re mine, my child, a value without end.”
I cried long tears held inside for years until I was spent.
“I must be valued for you to send such help.”
And only then believed what I did hope for years to be true:
I did have value! And nothing ever could,
Take that away. No flaw, no stain, no human blame.
“Thank you, dear God. I now believe. You are the fiber of my very being.”
And day by day, some bad ones too,
I kept on fighting, cause now I knew,
With God along my side, I will be cured one day.
And it took time to feel strong in my body.
Another angel, a God-like presence,
In mother, form stood by my bed
And cried with me and brushed my forehead
When pain took over in that deep, intense way.
She cried, I cried, and we held hands.
She cried for me and all the others
Who suffered in a similar bed.
They came from all nations, ages, and both genders,
Of allbeliefs. Even those who hated God. She cried for them as well.
She cried with them, with me, and we were not alone.
God, one thing I know
You’re never threatened by my pettiness,
My weakness, or my anger, and all my questions,
And temper tantrums, my hateful speech, and all my hesitations.
And I love that!
Despite it all, you still love and forgive our deep frustrations.
When something awful happens
And I demand an explanation
You have more patience,
Than I’ll ever do.
In many ways, I love you too. The End– Carmen McKnight
Have you taken a trip just for yourself? Not because the kids wanted to go to the beach, nor because you wanted to visit friends and family in another state, and not for another group get-together in the mountains? If not, it’s time you do. There are few things more refreshing than rebooting yourself with time away on your own terms.
Blogger Carmen McKnight takes a look at a few great destinations where you can unwind on your time.
Before You Take Off Work
Before we have you booking flights, let’s think about a few preemptive measures you can take at work to keep your phone from ringing while you’re enjoying the sunshine and breeze. Start by letting your customers, coworkers, and, if applicable, your employees know that you’ll be away during certain days. You might also consider outsourcing some administrative responsibilities to a virtual assistant or ramping up your hours in the weeks before you go to get a little bit ahead.
Start Booking
There is no single destination that makes sense for everyone. But, before you book a trip, think about going somewhere that you have never been before. You may just find your new favorite location right outside your doorstep.
Miami Beach
The beach needs no introduction, but what you might not know about Miami is that you have beautiful weather all year round. And, if you like to wind down with nightlife, you won’t find a better location than Miami Beach. There’s also lots of interesting artwork, amazing food, and plenty of nature to soak your soul into.
Orlando and Disney World
As we’re thinking about Florida, you can’t rule out Orlando – more than 59 million visitors (in 2021) certainly didn’t according to Visit Orlando. The area is home to more than a dozen theme parks, chief among them being Disney World, which comprises attractions like Epcot Center and the Magic Kingdom. You can make the trip to Disney World an affordable one by checking out the deals and reward program at Mouse Life Today, which also has tourist news and information.
Dallas
Dallas is a city steeped in history, from Cowboys to famous assassinations. According to the TourScanner blog, you’ll also find immersive art exhibits, a virtual zombie apocalypse, sports, and, if you have the courage, you can even take a fan-powered parachute flight with a certified pilot. Coincidentally, there are still many affordable vacation homes in Dallas. If you can swing 20% down (or have enough equity for a home equity loan or second mortgage), then you may even be able to have a permanent second home and a potential income stream.
New England
Covered bridges, lighthouses, and seafood! Sign us up. A quick trip to New England and its pine trees, sugar shacks, and rolling hills may be just what the doctor ordered. New England Today calls the area “a beautiful corner of the world!” While you’re here, take a charter yacht trip to see some landmarks from when our country was founded.
Seattle
Seattle might get a bad reputation for being rainy, but very few days are actual washouts. Don’t shy away from this West Coast Haven, and plan to spend the day on Puget Sound and the market center or strolling the corridors of the Museum Of Pop Culture, all of which are in Hotels.com’s top five picks for things to do in Seattle.
The benefits of taking a self-care “reset” trip can’t really be described in words. You’ll return relaxed, refreshed, and ready to tackle any challenge that steps in front of you. But, before you go, make sure to spend some time getting prepared at work and look for destinations you’ve never been to before. You never know, you might just find a new part-time home and income stream to help you afford your next getaway.
Since it began on September 16th after Mahsa Amini a 22-year-old died in the “morality police’s” custody “collectively as a woman I felt the pain of the women suffering in Iran” as Eleen so beautifully put it. Who is Eleen? My son, Merrill’s, girlfriend. Born and raised in Tehran, Iran she lives in America which means half of her heart is still back there with her family. I feel with her, I feel with all the women fighting now for their freedom, for their rights, and dying dreaming to be free. Around 200 people died already, mostly students still in high school or college standing up to a dictatorship they no longer tolerate. It’s a unified cry of the Iranian people, of the Iranian women, a cry for freedom, and a call for the tyranny to end.
I’ve asked Eleen’s help so I’ll choose her own words “This is a fire under the ash. They (the police) may act like they still have power but the power is in the people’s hands, they are done with the lies. Literally, they are ready to trade their lives for freedom even if are not alive to experience it.”
Well said.
I pray for complete freedom for the women of Iran, may the women choose what freedom is to them not another man saying what their freedom should be about. My heart is hurting with you and praying for your success.
Journey 