Lyme disease and non-epileptic seizures.

Danielle explains the seizures better than I can.

I got diagnosed with Neurological Lyme Disease plus co-infections back in 2014-2015 and that’s how I get attacked after a nasty flue/cold, or any elevated or prolonged stress in my life. I also have a hard time in public (especially after a relapse) around lots of people, places such as Costco, church, any restaurant, or grocery stores, festivals, or just crowds, like in airports. I used to love being in large crowds of people, their energy and happiness only increased mine, but now I hate being in crowds of people. When I relapse or have flare ups, talking to one person, looking them in the eye, fills me up with anxiety. It’s as if I can feel their pain or distress and I absorb it in my own body.

Thank God for Instacart app. They deliver the groceries you buy on line to your door for a small fee, or free if you buy a year membership. Amazon also delivers from Whole Foods if you live in Seattle, which we do, and these modern services are a complete blessing for people like me.

Nutramedix Burbur-Pinella tincture or warm lemon water helps me through these seizures, it calm the neurological system down, by cleaning all the toxins away and calming the whole wiring down. The Burbur helps fast while the lemon water is just a nice detox habit to have.

All Lyme warriors keep your spirits up today and God Bless:)

Justin Bieber Battling Lyme Disease

I’m not in Justin Bieber’s generation, more in Michael Jackson and Toby Mac, but finding out that he’s been battling Lyme Disease in 2019 (and maybe further back) its heart breaking. Any Lyme warriors will tell you its heart breaking to find out yet another victim fell in the paralyzing claws of this invisible yet severely vicious disease. Only those suffering know the truth that lies in the battle, and it’s a long battle, unfortunately. We pray and await the day when a cure will be found, so all the researchers out there, please hurry! Until then, I wish Justin, myself and every single fellow sufferer a great day void of pain and a complete recovery in the near future:) Love you all and God Bless:)

So the honeymoon is over, now what?

You got married, the honeymoon passed and the child or children arrived. As a wife you start to feel less beautiful or desirable since your hubby does not spend as much time courting you like he used to. (Most likely he’s too stressed out figuring ways to be a good provider for his growing family.) The fatigue coming with having children makes you cranky, easily irritable and annoyed and you start picking your hubby apart, subconsciously unaware what a disaster awaits you at the end of this road. He does his best to provide but maybe you don’t feel that’s good enough. Such feeling usually arrives from comparing your material stock, or lack there of, with someone else who “has bigger and better stuff.” They’re maybe a rival of yours or someone you perceive more important than you meanwhile forgetting to compare your wealth with someone who has much less than you have. So you argue and pick him apart because he does not fit into your “happily ever after prince” version. He ignores you more often which escalate those inner insecurities until internal questions such as “does he still love me? Am I still beautiful?” etc show up. Does this sound familiar for some of you?

You want some advise from an older woman who has been through her fair share of struggles? Before I move on let me confess something to you. Any man or woman who emotionally and physically abuses their spouses and children need medical and psychological help. If they refuse to change and continue to abuse, they’re not worthy of keeping that family and should take responsibilities of the outcomes-which of course that rarely happens. I do believe battered spouses should leave their abusers even if that goes against my Christian teachers, family and friend’s believes. I saw first hand the devastating result of such violence. I also saw, experienced and still do experience what love looks like in comparison and the flourishing results it has. Some call it God, others call it “the big guy”, but without a doubt there is a bigger picture than what we see with our physical eyes and there is a better explanation for the miracles that do happen than most of us have or try to concoct.

But I got side-tracked so back to today’s subject. Here it goes.

  1. If you’re insecure you have to ask yourself why? Find the core of your own insecurity. Most likely has nothing to do with your spouse and everything to do with something else that happened earlier in your life which damaged certain views and values directly linked to you, even if that means a sense of entitlement, which is a damaged view of self and the world, by-the-way. Then take responsibilities and start changing. I’ve lost most of you here, haven’t I? No one likes to take responsibilities over their bad actions, only recognition over the good ones. (Ex: Here’s one way I handle this one. When I get annoyed by something I ask myself why then look deeper within, beyond the irritating present issue. If I see a pattern, meaning if I see myself always getting annoyed when this or that happens, or so and so said or did something that bothered me, then I know I got a bad root. I begin asking myself the why question and with every answer I keep on asking myself why, until I get to the root. I don’t always get to the root right away, and that’s alright as long as I make progress. Healing happens in layers at times. But you have to keep yourself honest and stop blaming, especially yourself during this process.)
  2. Just like you, he’s never been married before (talking to first marriages), and he’s trying to figure the whole thing out as best as he can. Most likely the responsibility as a provider is high and as a result of that his focus and energy is spent in providing. You can’t tear his efforts down (even if they’re not in line with what you think they should look or be like) just like you wouldn’t want him to tear your efforts of figuring the motherhood and spousal responsibilities you now have. The whole marriage is a process not an advertisement poster, perfect and complete.
  3. Smile. This is a big one. Even if you don’t feel like it. A man finds a smile to be the sexiest part of your body and soul. So smile. If he’s hanging around bringing home the bacon you’re his babe.
  4. Communication. Oh my gosh! This is a killer or a healer! For crying- out-loud ladies he’s not a woman! He does not speak female, he speaks male, which means keep it simple, direct and to the point. He gets that. And try to keep cool, imagine that you’re talking about someone else when you describe your frustrations. Ex: Babe I’m too tired, can you help me with the trash? Can you take it out? When you see certain facial expressions or hear certain groans as a result, don’t take it personally,. He loves you, he just hates taking the trash out but because he loves you, even if he does not like it he’ll do it. Give him credit. It is like dealing with a big kid at times. Don’t read into it and make a big deal about it. If the trash is gone be happy and move on.
  5. Don’t nag. Ugh, it’s so unpleasant when I talk with another woman and she nags so I can only imagine a man would feel the same. Stop it. Talk. Like an adult.
  6. This-too- shall- pass you heard the saying and its categorically true, if you let it. Nothing lasts forever. Even good moments, like a nice date, a fun party, an emotional speech, so on, which is always good when hardships bust through our doors. They will not last forever!
  7. Work hard and choose to be happy instead of right. That right there will fix most of your issues:) Well, I’ll stop here so I won’t bore you further, unless that’s too late already:) Live well, be nice and let your soul smile more often:)
  8. P.S. If you have more wonderful suggestions, let me know:) God Bless:)

Happy B-day Mom!

Sixty seven years ago a beautiful and extraordinarily strong woman was born, my mother:)

I’m hesitant to write about my mom, not because I don’t have anything to say (I have plenty) but I’m afraid I will not do her justice through my poorly expression of my love and admiration that I have for her. But I’ll try.

When I was young I did not appreciate many things about her but it took me becoming a mother to understand the many sacrifices she endured so we could have a better life. I imagine how hard must’ve been for her raising children during communism era as a christian woman, with meager earnings and little support. Modern women of today, myself including, we have unthinkable possibilities and social support, amenities that help our chore work and most likely (not everyone) supportive husbands.

I’ve learned so much from her, and even though she was tough on us at times, “she did her best to prepare us for a harsh and uneasy world” as she put it in one of our telephone conversations.

My mom worked hard, forgave a lot and always looked at the brighter side of life, despite the many hardships life provided for her. I’m so very proud of her and she gives me strength to push on when I feel otherwise. I thank God for her often:) So Happy B-day Mom! And many more healthy years to come, I pray you’ll have.

I’m sure you have an amazing mom as well. Thank God for her; she’s a priceless gift in this life.

God Bless:)

Christmas advent calendar

This year I received small and hilarious presents in the form of an advent calendar from my sister-in-law Brigitte who lives in Germany. This is traditions in their family, a very nice tradition and I sure had lots of fun opening and coming up with an idea for a picture for 24 days before Christmas. I know it’s past Christmas time, but maybe this will give you a great idea for your next Christmas. Enjoy:)

Day 1. Small statue from Egypt

Day 2- Body lotion

Day 3- Hand soap

Day 4- Red fluffy covered note-book

Day 5- A cactus salt shaker

Day 6- Hand knitter socks

Day 7- Chocolates

Day 8- Cappuccino mix

Day 9- Funny chore list

Day 10- a White dish to hold candy

Day 11- More candy

Day 12- Cactus pepper shaker

Day 13- Epson salt aromatic bath mix

Day 14- Cake in a cup mix

Day 15- Christmas napkins

Day 16- A second small statue from Egypt

Day 17- Traditional german cake

Day 18- Dish soap

Day 19- Toilet bowl fragrant refresher

Day 20- More cappuccino

Day 21- Hand-made necklace

Day 22- Garbage bags

Day 23- Laundry soap capsule

Day 24- A green top:)

They were meant to bring a smile on my face, and that’s what Brigitte accomplishes:) I loved every moment of it:) Thank you Brigitte once more:)

Enjoy the slow and typical slideshow:) It’s the best I could come up with for now:)

God Bless:)

January 1st 2020

Revised version since last night when I wrote this blog my eyes were sandy from fatigue and my brain only worked on autopilot.

How do you start the new year right? By pranking your kids! Yes! After all, is very important for us parents to teach our children how to act or react sharply and appropriately in all life’s circumstances.

Since Meleah was the only one working on New Year’s first day we decided, maturely of course, to play a prank on her once she got back home which was around 1 pm. So we came up with a ransom note.

From idea to completion we had 40 minutes. The culprits were: my husband, myself, our son Merrill and her boyfriend Jordan. There was a mad rush of hands and ideas flying. Chet was cutting the most brilliant words out of a Martha Steward cooking magazine, I had the privilege of gluing the whole message together while the boys came up with the message:) I haven’t felt so alive and giddy for a long time and I loved every second of the devious plan and from the looks of it so did the boys. The fact that our building had a power issue (can’t really call it outage) and the lights were very dim, some even flickering others not working at all, the TV console moved away from the wall (Chet unplugged the electronics) did help.

We left the note on the floor seconds before she stepped through and hid waiting. Heard the keys, her stepping inside then utter silence for few long seconds. (She was reading the ransom note and listening for any activity inside before committing to come all the way in.) As you can see, in our haste, we never left a contact info so she checked her Instagram messages for more clarification. Nothing. She walked ever so quietly around looking, for us I presume, and eventually found us tucked in a corner of our bedroom. The whole thing was over way too soon but we sure had a nice laugh.

Twisted sense of humor you say? I think not. I’ve come to the conclusion that my daughter handled the situation brilliantly and my job as a parent was done. She’ll do fine in life is the conclusion we drew, which is important:)

I would love to hear some of your fun teachable moments you received or gave away, but until then have a fantastic new year with great beginnings and fun adventures!

God Bless:)

I salute you! Read and you'll know what I'm talking about.

When I was a young girl, I thought my parents to be utterly mean for hiding sweets from us. Back then, during the communism era, sweets (or any other material goods for that matter) were rare treasures. Anyone that grew up in a large (or medium, semi-large, somewhat medium, okay even small ones) family knew that sweets, even sugar was something good that happened to you maybe once a year if you were good. (the translation of the word good in this context means if the communist party felt generous enough to allow sweets in the store for longer then ten seconds twice a year, and if they were really generous give one orange per child at Christmas time- which I remember that to have happened two times in nineteen years). For many years during my childhood those were the only times I ate oranges, or to be more specific, one small slice.

Now lets fast forward few years. I find myself not only fully understanding my parents but following in their foot steps as I too hide favorite sweets from the three black holes my grown children seem to posses when it comes to deserts. It’s also the only cleaning they ever do without being asked.

Last night I made another berry cobbler but had none before bed time.(Menopause gives hot flashes when sugar is involved, yes, I’m there and I feel like the world is about to end). This morning I woke up smiling and thinking of that wonderful berry cobbler I made and how good was going to taste with a cup of tea. Instead of cobbler I was greeted by an empty, dirty, pie dish and I remembered yet again why my parents hid sweets from us.

Your family never did that to you? Are you sure? Maybe you haven’t found their hiding spot but believe me, they hid nice chocolates, or candy, pieces of cake or other such things like alcohol, waiting for you to go to bed so they can find a little joy in one glass or two.

Well for those of you who had parents that hid sweets and for those of you who are now hiding pieces of cake or other such goodies from your prodigies, I salute you! Cheers and try not to loose your head before the wonderful Christmas Day;)

God Bless:)

We grieve because we love.

The dying generation.

The ladies in this picture are sisters and they happen to be my grandmother (Maria) on the right and my great aunt, Ticuta, on the left. In the middle stands uncle Ionel, my aunt’s husband. My grandfather passed away few years back from Alzheimer’s.

Both sisters had strokes within days of each other, couple of months ago. Sunday, 11-10-2019 aunt Ticuta passed away.

I look at life as a wonderful novel and for some their story may have ended their flesh and blood walk on this earth. It’s impossible not to feel sad at its finality. But strong memories continue their story and recollecting them is my way of spending time with the beloved departed ones.

Here’s one of those memories.

Ibanesti village stands quietly in the Bucovina region of Romania situated north of the country.

Head wrapped in a bright scarf and one hand shielding her eyes from the sun above my aunt stands in the middle of a potatoes field searching for me. In addition to her children and her chores I’m her responsibility for the time being as I spend few summer days working the fields along side. We’ve been weeding and picking these nasty bugs off every leaf for the past four hours and although there’s so much left the work is coming to an end for today. Heat waves dance over the land and her small but mighty frame rests a moment and I can’t help but smile towards her. She does not smile much, too engulfed in her never-ending chores life offers to a peasant but when she does my world brightens and I nearly tear up with overwhelming joy. I can smell dust and dried grass lingering in the air for the ground under our feet is cracked from lack of rain. She looks up towards the sun and her lips move, most likely in prayer. We need rain for the crops to grow, so I too begin to pray. As a child I don’t like the rain much but I sense its importance.

“Carmen! Gicu! Geta! Time to go home!” She waives us over and like separated aunts we happily cluster joking and pushing each other in cheerful teasing. The walk home is shared between gulps of lukewarm water once freshly pulled out of the well and I look forward to dinner.

But dinner in the country does not come quickly. First we must feed and give water to the cows who have just returned from the pastures, brought back by the village boy delegated with such a task. So I help carry the buckets of water after Gicu, one of my cousins, pumps it from the well. I see in the far distance, Geta, another cousin, lifting hay with a fork and bringing it in the stable. Today I must milk the cow, that’s my task, and I take the small wooden stool, I grab the aluminum bucket and set myself underneath the enormous belly hoping she’ll not kick me. The smell of cow manure gags me for a second yet years later this will become my best memory trigger to such times as these. I wash her nipples and began to pull, but its not as easy as it seems and my cousins start to laugh, teasing my clumsiness. I’m a city girl, and I feel it now in every bone of my body. Every day they work hard yet still manage to laugh and tease while I struggle to keep up too proud to admit defeat. So I try again and pull harder with more success.

“Here. Let me show you how it’s done.” Geta offers. She sits down and starts milking with great ease and as the while liquid slushes out quickly the smell of fresh milk teases my nostrils, followed by stomach gurgles. I’m really hungry.

“Lean your head on her belly gently, this helps her relax, then grab hard like this and pull like this. Now you do it.” I nod, ready to prove my worth. I lean my head and start to pull. I’m rewarded with a great sound of liquid hitting the bucket, Geta smiles and the cow moos happy. As I milk her, head agains her belly, my eyes see past the open stable door and into the courtyard, where Mitica, my youngest cousin only about five or six years old helps his mother by bringing the fire wood so she can start supper out in the summer kitchen. It’s too hot to cook inside and during the summer all the meals are cooked outside in the summer kitchen which is a clay oven next to a wooden table situated underneath a lush grape vine. Aunt Ticuta is starting the fire with some matches and soon the soft polenta, the universal bread in these parts of the country, is well on its way. Then she fries pieces of pork meat and my mouth is watering as the fumes reach me, and Geta hurries to help with the salad by picking lettuce from the nearby garden. Fresh made plain yogurt completes the simple meal and I become impatient with my chore.

Come on girl, help me out here!” But the cow turns and looks at me with her big eyes and I can tell she’s saying “What else do you want me to do?”

Once around the table we bow our heads and pray out loud over the meal then sit down under the shade of the grape vine busy eating. The fire was put out but the smell of aches lingers. We tease each other with mouth-fulls of goodness and settle down only when my aunt advertises us there’ll be whipping coming our way if we don’t. But like a bee hive we slowly start it up again. And life keeps going on in a beautiful continuance of love, hard work, and laughter.

Family members of the dying generation mean the world to me. Despite grave injustice against them some brought on by the socialist/communist party others by life circumstances they always worked hard and looked at life as God’s precious gift. The thankful attitude and their tendency to see the positive side of life taught me to be strong. I love that! I was taught that by them! I will treasure it forever. If only I can do as good of a job, now that’s my turn, and make the world around me better. I’m trying:) These are the people I’m mostly proud of, the older generations, that sit invisible behind this two ladies in this picture. My family back home and some here:)

Everyone of us needs a strong and healthy foundation to stand on and I hope you have such a great foundation. If some of these great people have passed away, remember them well, and be proud to have encountered such wonderful human beings:)

God Bless.