romania

Sergiu cel rezistent

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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De la stinga: Tibi, Sergiu si Iuli.

In copilarie Sergiu ne facea mereu sa ridem ca atare unul din poreclele lui a fost “The Jocker” sau “comicul”. Dar reflectind la viata lui Sergiu “cel Rezistent” se potriveste mai bine. Desi eram plini de vinatai si indurera-ti, in copilarie, Sergiu tot timpul avea o gluma   la indemina.

Din cei doisprezece frati si surori, el a fost cel mai abuzat, dar uitindu-te pe fata lui si la felul cum isi traieste viata nu ti-ai da seama. Are cea mai pozitiva atitudine si iarta repede. Intr-o zi l-am intrebat cum de poate sa uite asa repede si dind din umeri, mi-a raspuns:

“Nu dau atentie. Stiu ce veau sa fac si ma duc si-l fac. O sa iau bataie fie ca fac fie ca nu fac, asa ca mai bine fac.” Pentru Sergiu a explora si a invata ce are viata de oferit era mult mai important decit frica care parintele incerca sa o bage in el, prin violenta. Intr-un fel la pregatit pentru viata care o avea inaintea lui de trecut. A fugit in Germania dupa revolutie, a fost prins si dat inapoi. A doua oara a reusit, si a trebuit sa sacrifice a nu participa la nunta mea, sacrificiul care l-am inteles. Mai bine asa, decit sa vina inapoi si sa fie prins in ghiarele abuzului din nou si fara un viitor bun. Statea la rinduri in timpul comunismului toata noapte fie pe timp de iarna sau vara pentru un litru de lapte sau o piine. Avea darul bagatului in fata si rare ori venea acasa cu mina goala.

Acuma Sergiu stie legile Germaniei mai bine decit un neamt crescut acolo, si e bosul unei companii care aduce miilione de euro. Da comanda si instrueste acuma pe care vrea el, dar a luat mult sacrificiu si multa munca sa ajunga unde este acuma. Casatorit cu o nemtoaica, amindoi au o fata, Michelle, o casa tare faina si o viata buna.

Sergiu, de cind a facut un ban in buzunar a trimis inapoi si la familie si a ajutat tare mult. Mii de euro au plecat din buzunarul lui in tara. L-a adus si pe Leo si Nico in Germania si ia ajutat sa se stabileasca legal si cu post de munca.

De cind il stiu, il plac surprizele si ca atare a facut multe vizite-surpriza in tara:) Ii plac masinile de calitate:) si lucrul facut corect. Dar o gluma buna e cea mai indicata pentru el:) Am fost dintotdeauna mindra de el si asa va ramine pina mor.

Le sarea in ajutor fratilor mai mici si asa a primit o piatra in cap de si-a spart capul, dar nu sa lasat pagubas si a spart geamul inapoi celui care-i sparse capul.

Sergiu cel rezistent:)

Mi-e dor de el zilnic, ca si de ceilalti si ma bucur mult cind vad ca viata lui e binecuvintata:)

Multa-mi Doamne de fratii si surorile mele:)

Sergiu

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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Sergiu the Resilient

In our childhood, Sergiu made us laugh constantly, thus one of his nick name, “The Joker.” But to me he’s more “The Resilient”. We sat all bruised and hurt after another one of our father’s angry episodes, but Sergiu found a way to always make us laugh bringing such light in a dark world, even if it had to be whispered.

Out of all twelve siblings, Sergiu was the third and abused the most, in a very hateful manner. But looking into his face now you would never know it. He has the most positive and forgiving nature, bouncing right back with such ease it amazed me. I asked him one day how he could do that. He shrugged his shoulders then responded:

“I just don’t think about it. I think of the things I want to do and do them even if I get in trouble. I’ll get in trouble no matter what, I may as well do what I want. It’s worth it.” To him exploring and having adventures was worth the pain he knew he would endure later on. In a way it prepared him for the tough life ahead. He ran illegally into Germany right after the revolution, got caught and sent back to more abuse only to try again. And he succeeded. He entered Germany with the clothes on his back and a small Bible, worked very hard and now he’s the COO of a multi-million dollar company in Berlin, married to Brigitte, a pure breed German girl and together they have one daughter Michelle:) He gives orders all day long and works with employees from many nations, has a house and a very nice life. He’s helped my parents and siblings financially for years. Since he had a few dollars in his pocket he always thought of the rest of the family and sent back thousands upon thousands of euros (or deutschmarks back in the time). He is known for his love to surprise you and pulled lots of surprise visits:)

Sergiu, the resilient:)

I remember caroling with Sergiu and Alin, and every house/apartment we entered Sergiu found a way to walk away full handed with something. He stood in those long nightmarish lines Romania and Eastern Europe was known for during socialism/ communism times, usually taking him all night long during Siberian winters temperatures just to get a few loaves of bread or one kilo of milk or half a butter or few eggs or one kilo of sugar or one kilo of oranges, you name it. He also had the wits to push in the front of the line and walk away with something when so many were left only with empty disappointments. (There was never enough food during that time, and just staying in a line for half a day did not promise a happy result). Sergiu had street smarts and gumption. Still does:)

Sergiu, the resilient. I miss him everyday:)

Alin

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

img_4622.jpgCel mai mare frate din noua si al doilea dintre noi, Alin are o prezenta naturala de sef:)  Este definit mai bine de iubirea lui fata de musica classica, in deosebi Beethoven, si cind nu lucreaza ca inginer in Germania unde sa stabilit momentan, este gasit pe scenele operei in multe tari dar in deosebi pe scenele nemtesti.

Amu, hai sa intram mai pe di ale noastri. Haline!!!!! Fratele meu!!!!! De ce esti asa diparti???? Imi aduc aminte cu mare drag de momentele petrecute cu ai mei frati si surori. Datorita anilor apropiati, am avut o legatura mai strinsa cu Alin si Sergiu, si mai tirziu am format prietenii mai strinse cu restul fratilor. Alin, o fire gingasa dar si un ghem de mister (ceea ce lui ii place:) a crescut tinind in el multa durere, in deosebi dupa ce a murit fratele nostru, Fanu. Alin si Fanu au avut o conectie speciala, bazata pe faptul ca semanau mult la chip si fire. Copil slabut si inalt ani de zile, Alin putea minca sarmale cu tonele, mai ales la nunti, dar mincarea lui preferata era si mai este piine cu un rind gros, si cind zic gros nu exagerez, de unt si miere. Acasa, eu gateam dar Alin cocea:) Ciocolata de casa i-a fost desertul preferat ani de zile, dar in general nu conteaza ce desert ieste in jur, Alin il va minca fara nici o plingere:)

E iubit de multi, desi am impresia ca se simte singur de multe ori.

Imi aduc aminte cind eram tineri, si el era asa de subtirel (ca restul de fapt), si cind Alin iti tragea o palma din joaca iti intorcea mufa si-ti schimba anatomia sheletului, asa ii era de grea palma. Un intelectual din nastere, zimbesc mereu cind vorbim la telefon, si nimeni nu ma face sa rid cum ma face Alin sa rid. (Sergiu la fel, dar in ultimul timp e obosit mai tot timpul.)

Intr-o vara cind am mers la bunica (de fapt strabunica) de la Ibanesti, ea ne-a lasat in grija gainilor. Bunica plecata de ceva timp in padure la cules de ciuperci si vreascuri, dar in realitate cred ca avea nevoie de citeva ore de liniste, si fara nimic de facut ne-am plictisit. Pe timpuri eram plina de energie si curiozitate, si tot timpul aveam idei de aventuri, stresindu-l pe saracul Alin care nu avea nici o pofta sa fie pedepsit.

“Hai sa mergem in papusoi (porum pentru cei care nu vorbesc moldoveneste:), Aline!”

“De ce?”

“Sa exploram! Haideeee, hai mai repede.” Am plecat fara sa ne dam seama ca nu am inchis poarta dupa noi, si in mijlocul explorarii noastre ne-am trezit cu niste gaini pe la picioare.”

“Hm, astea parca arata ca gainile lui bunica.” Amindoi am inghitit in sec si am inghetat pe loc.

“Ai inchis poarta dupa tine?”

“Nu. Nu mi-ai zis sa inchid poarta!” Sa rastit Alin inapoi continuind “Vezi daca ascult de tine! O sa ne omoare bunica acuma!” Pe moment am facut planuri sa fugim dar am stiut ca era plan prost.

“Ce facem acuma?”

“Tarnicerul! Ne ajuta el! Haide” Am raspuns fungind repede inapoi cu speranta ca vecinul bunicii care era stiut ca betivul satului era acasa si numai jumate beat. L-am gasit acasa. Desi beat ne-a dat instructiuni si ne-a ajutat sa fugarim gainile inapoi in ograda (curte:). A luat o ora si ceva, si nu am fost plesnita peste fata de atita papusoi in viata mea. I-am multumit vecinului sperind ca nu ne piraste. Am stat pe prispa dupa aia ca doi ingeri pina a venit bunica inapoi cu o legatura de vreascuri pe umeri si ciuperci in briu.

Am avut multe aventuri cu Alin in viata mea si cred ca vom mai avea, mi-e dor de el zilnic dar is fericita cind il vad fericit:) Stiu ca multi din voi care vor citi aceste rinduri ave-ti memorii frumoase cu el:) Ce sa stiu sa zic, Alin are stilul lui unicat de a comunica, pe care il iubim desi poate la inceput ne-a socat un pic. Aline ramii la fel, ca ne trebuiesti ase cum esti;)

Love you:)

P.S Porecla in trecut- grisina.

It has begun- Alin the Musician-

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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First picture- article in Hunedoara newspaper done on Alin:)

Second picture; Alin and his twin nieces, Oana’s girls:)

Alin around seven years old:)

Alin in one of his stage costume:)

Every year around this time I began to mourn for Fanu, my little ten year old brother who died a while back. His B-day is in December, but fall brings a whiff of Fanu’s memory with it and my heart cries from such precious loss. To divert my sorrows, I think of my other siblings.

I’ll start with Alin:)

ALIN-the Opera Singer

Second in command, he’s a boss in his own way:) A self made man and a brilliant engineer, his work in Germany is appreciated by many. But its his stage performances that define him for who he is. His love for music was know since early ages of his life. He performs on stage all over the world:) Beethoven is his favorite composer. Alin is a ball of mysteries and he loves it that way:) A natural born intellectual it’s a pleasure having a conversation with him on many subjects, but its his direct and honest opinions that puts a smile on my face every time we talk. He has a diplomatic way of telling you the truth about yourself, without the presents of butt kissing, living you hardly confused of his opinion. He’s a sensitive soul and the loss of Fanu (Alin and Fanu had a special connection the rest of us knew about), his heart fractured quite deeply. One day all will be healed.

Alin, makes me laugh in a way no other human being on this entire planet can do and I know Meleah has a special compartment in her heart reserved for uncle Alin. It is a common feeling many share about him.

His love of travel is well know as he often takes advantage of a nice vacation to go visit a new place on this beautiful planet.

Alin and I spent a summer in the hills of Moldova, at our great grandma, where out of boredom we got often in trouble. Come to think of it, it was my sense of adventure that got us in trouble often followed by his threats. One day, we forgot to close the gate and all great grandma’s chickens ran into the corn field. Panicked,  we recruited the help of her neighbor and the town’s well known drunk, but we couldn’t afford to be picky. The poor man, did a fantastic job mumbling instructions to us and after a highly stressful hour or so, we managed to bring back all the chickens. After words, as great grandma came back from the forest carrying a bundle of wood sticks for the evening dinner along side an apron full of freshly picked mushrooms (not my favorite) we acted as everything was well with the world. I’m not sure if the neighbor ever ratted us out, but I’ve never heard a reprimand from my grandma.

Yes, we were quite the pair and Sergiu joined our gang soon after.

Back home I was the cook and Alin was the baker. Boy was he a great baker. He could whip a chec (like a sweet loaf of bread) in no time, but “ciocolata de casa” (homemade chocolate), was and still is his favorite desert. He also loved a piece of bread with tons of butter, and when I say tons I mean tons, and honey. He pretty much lived on that.

I miss Alin every day, but I’m really glad he’s doing so well and one day I’ll get to see him again:)

P.S Alin speaks Romanian, English and German, he also speaks Alin language:)

Next is Sergiu:)

Happy 24th Anniversary:)

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

IMG_4638IMG_4635It takes my mother-in-law, once again, to remind me of my “Coming to America” anniversary on October 15th (yesterday). It’s been 24 years already? Actually, right now I should ask: “I’ve lived in Romania?” It sure feels like a distant dream, the land of my birth, a dream mixed with happiness and sadness:)

To pretend that my new culture (America) doesn’t have its shortcomings would be infantile. However, I remember my very first experience in America, fresh off the airplane, which was a breathtaking experience in itself.

I had to use the restroom quite urgently, since I’ve held it in for a good fifteen hours now. I knew sooner or later I would have to learn the new and improved American system and due to its urgency on the matter, that time seemed to have arrived.

We took a boat to our new place on an island and through gestures – Chet and I could hardly speaking to each other, he barely knew Romanian and I was sure I didn’t know any English- I asked him where was the restroom. With his gentlemanly manners Chet showed me the door where a funny looking woman painting with very sharp edges about her announced my gender. I walked in absolutely flabbergasted by the clean surroundings, the bright lights- no one seemed to steal the public light bulbs in this country- and looked for either a hole in the ground with its own fly occupants or a toilet. I saw a row of sinks on one side and boxes on the other. With hesitation I walked toward the boxes, opened one and to my relief saw a toilet. I rushed in closed it and did my business. Once done I reached up to pull the string -the only system of toilet flushing I’ve known my entire life- shocked to find there was no string.

“Maybe its broken.” I looked up. No hole in the ceiling. “Great, now what?” I looked around for buttons or handles, anything, and became quite panicked. There were none that I could see. I dressed, and was about to make a run for it, when I heard the toilet behind me flush, by itself! “What?” Relieved, even if quite confused, I was ready to wash my hands, but there too I sat in a tremendous dilemma. No matter what I did no water came out. Again no buttons or sink handle were visible. Ladies came in and out, washing their hands just fine except for me. “Maybe my sink is broken.” I snuck to the sinks others just used but as soon as I got there the water flow stopped leaving me in utter confusion. I pulled and pushed on different spots of the sink. Nothing. Eventually, one simply began working and I ran to it washing quickly, glad the whole thing was over. Turning around ready to wipe my hands I got struck by another dilemma. “Shucks! No towels!” Nothing! Just some shiny things- later I found out they were automatic heat blowers- but no towels. I wiped on my clothes and found my way out of there eager to put the whole thing behind me and into a deeply worried new husband. How can I explain to him that American toilets were moody and sinks were playing tricks on me when one could not speak a word of English?  I’ve since learned of the automatic toilet flushing system along with the automatic faucets of the public restrooms, but it took a few more trials and a whole lot of confusion to get the whole new system of things down:)

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A sample of vegetarian Americo-Romanian dinner:) Zacusca (red pepper and eggplant dip) and salata de vinete (an eggplant and mayo dip) meets potatoes in the oven with steamed broccoli (never saw that vegetable in Romania) and snow peas (another vegetable I never saw in Romania) and backed squash:)

When in pain, one writes

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Yes, I’m in quite a lot of pain today, but don’t fuss, it will pass and life moves on. I figured since today it will be spent mostly in bed, I may as well write.

Long before I knew what a Solar Plexus was, I felt it. Every time my father yelled, I felt it. Every time my father hit one of us, I felt it. With every cry of pain, I felt it. With every criticism, I felt it.

Solar plexus aka Celiac Plexus aka Abdominal Brain – is a complex of ganglia (or network of nerves) and radiating nerves of the sympathetic system (fight and flight response) at the pit of the stomach.-Wikipedia

Heal this and you’ll heal adrenal problems, stomach problems, gall bladder problems, diaphragm problems, spleen problems and much more. (Chakras.info; solework.wordpress.com)

It took forty-two years for me to understand why every-time I was around other people I “saw” certain things about them – information that came in different forms such as: colors/lights, a string of clear yet seemingly unrelated images about that particular person’s life or that strong sense of danger/unease/happiness/relaxation one gets around certain individuals – affecting me one way or another, depending on what I “saw” or perceived. I also learned something else: Anytime I felt a perceived danger I would hold my breath. I was not aware I did that until one naturopathic doctor pointed it out. It was my way of coping with trauma or stressful circumstances. It began early in my childhood while witnessing a lot of my father’s abuse towards my siblings and my self. I held my breath. This happens when trauma or excessive stress is present in the early stages of childhood. It changes the structure of one’s DNA and neurological responses. Most people call such a result as “highly sensitive people”. Some are just born that way and no trauma was present, others develop this sensitivity forced by traumatic environments. In reality we’re all sensitive to pollutants/toxicity and stress. The difference is that some can shoulder these burdens better that’s others and it’s directly linked to a strong immune system versus not.

“That’s New Age talk, Carmen.” Some would say, after reading these lines. I was raised in a very strict conservative Christian environment (not all aspects of Christianity beliefs are wrong, but anything presented in a strict and extreme way is usually unhealthy) made to belief anything remotely related to New Age is evil. So I kept quiet about the things I “saw”/perceived knowing full well I would be accused of demon possession. I believe a lot of New Age theology comes from Biblical information but the movement added other things to it.

For forty- years, no stranger could get close to me without me feeling uncomfortable. Hugs to this day are hard for me and any conversation is done from a safe distance. If anyone violates that “safe zone” between us my flight or fight response super activates – although I lived only in a fight or flight response for years.  This has been medically proven by the tests I’ve had these past four years. My body could no longer relax. I’ve forgotten how.

Like a can of worms this perception exploded and jumped past few stages of teaching in massage school. I noticed certain things and had to ask my teachers for an explanation. Upon hearing the things I saw, my teachers simply responded with a genuine smile on their faces: “Carmen, you’ve got a gift.” I do? I thought to myself.

Example: I gave a massage to one of my teachers- which was not nerve-racking at all:)))- and I saw a shadow over her right hip and left knee. I knew instantly those areas were hurt. Without thinking I asked:

“What happen to your right hip and left knee?” She popped her head off the pillow in shock, only to realize she never told me anything about her personal life.

“How do you know about that?”

“I can see it.”

“What exactly do you see?”

“Dark gray shadows with a glow of pale yellow over these areas. I also see…” But she interrupted me, maybe because she didn’t want to find out a student can reveal more personal stuff about her.

“I had a bad car accident about ten years ago and those areas never healed properly.”

“Okay.”

Example: Had a lady on the massage table and I saw intense loss and grief all over her body. She was a good person, burdened by the disease of loss and sickness- a sickening yellow/olive color. I gently told her “all will be alright.” As we began talking I found out she lost someone very dear and just overcame cancer. She was also a bit frightened by all the things I could see so I stopped talking. In the end, she tolled me: “You have a gift.” She left and I never saw her again. I believe I may have frightened her for which I’m truly sorry.

The Solar Plexus is a sensitive spot but a powerful center of information. I’m not sure what made me the way that I am, but I was born with this. I’ve seen many things, most of them horribly dark stuff. Trauma, may have triggered something -this is a theory of mine- or I was born with a gift from God. Either way, I still have a lot to learn and I get things wrong as well.

One thing I’ve learned to do, is not let this gifting hinder my personal relationships, especially my relationship with Chet. Trust me, it took many years to learn how to and I’m still not an expert. But if I meet you and you’re going through something, and I will be allowed to see that, instead of allowing my heart to be broken by your hurt days in a row, I’ll be praying for you earnestly than let God and yourself do the healing in your own way and timing. I’ve learned I can’t be God and don’t want to. But I will be your friend.

I’ve tried to give you a small overview of the solar plexus but there’s so much more to it. For those interested, the internet is full of information on the subject. I hope this helped some of you and did not at least was an interesting read.

God Bless:)

 

 

Unchiu Stefan

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

De cind mi-l aduc aminte pe unchiu Stefan, e un om plin de umor si fara mare stress. Dar a trecut si el prin multe, mai ales in ultimul lui an in Romania, care l-a petrecut in patul spitalului mai mult decit acasa, datorita unui caz de astma severa. Cu ajutorul Crucii Rosii a putut pleca in America, unde sa stabilit in California unde aerul uscat si caldura atit cit si tratamentul l-au ajutat sa traiasca o viata normala. Ca electrician, incetul cu incetul si-a cumparat o casa, pregatind terenul pentru sotia lui Olga si cei cinci copii, care cu mare durere a trebuit sa-I lase in Romania. A luat, nu-mi aduc aminte precis, in jur de noua ani pina a putut sa-i aduca si pe ei in America.

Unchiu Stefan a zburat din tara cu ultimul avion in 1989, chiar dupa ce Revolutia  incepu-se si aeroportul sa inchis.

Din nefericire, acuma citeva zile a cazut jos de pe o scara, la lucru, si si-a lovit spatele. Ieri a avut o operatie care a fost foarte reusita si acum e in recuperare. Multumim Bunului Dumnezeu de protectia lui si ii dorim unchiului o precuperare rapida:)

Cu drag:)

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Uncle Stefan

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

IMG_4487He’s my mom’s younger brother, aunt Olga’s husband and now the proud owner of a successful back operation.

My uncle fell off a ladder a few days ago-work injury- and injured the lower lumbar disks of his back, more precisely, the jelly cushion known as intervertebral disks and their role are to absorb any shock from fall or trauma. He had surgery yesterday and everything went well:) Thank you, God:)

My uncle Stefan’s been dealing with severe asthma as far back as I could remember. This disabled him so severely, that his last year in Romania was spent mostly in the hospital. Through the help of Red Cross, he was able to come to America and settle in California where the weather is hot and dry and the medicine is far better than back home. The plane he flew on out of Romania was the last one to leave the country right as the revolution of 1989 begun. It was an impossibly hard decision to leave behind his beautiful wife Olga, and his five children. It would take about nine years (I can’t remember right the number so I may be off by few years here) until the family was able to re-unite. The paperwork process was long and dreary but eventually everyone was able to come:) Uncle Stefan’s health improved greatly here in America, especially in California due mostly to the weather, but also the medication. All his children (my cousins:) are married now, have good jobs and good lives, in California. I am so glad his surgery went well and his on the road to recovery now:)

So many times I get inspired by real people who endured hard times but succeeded in the end.

God Bless:)

Mercury dental fillings and chronic autoimmune disease

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Is there a connection? The dentistry industry and western medicine doctors will tell you; no, there is not. However, they don’t have any answers to idiopathic diseases such as: CFS, Fibromyalgia, MS, Alzheimer’s, or the “fake” chronic Lyme Disease, to name a few.  They claim symptoms of CFS and Fybromyalgia to be part of a mental problem in the patient built up from a desperate need of attention -as if the patient wants to feel as horrible as they do, around the clock mind you, while isolated from the very community they once were part of. And all this done by choice. I would tell them today -to the ignorant doctors- as I tolled them in the past when they had the nerve to respond to a medical complaint in such a cold manner: if I want attention all I have to do is throw myself a great big party and invite all my friends. That would be an expense well worth it, instead of paying you to tell me that I may be crazy. You simply have no idea what’s wrong with me.

There are many articles and personal testimonies written by regular people (all over the internet) proving otherwise. These people have noticed a major change in their overall health after removing amalgam fillings (which have a 45-55% of mercury) out of their mouths. That can’t be just coincidence. Why are dentists trained to handle and dispense the amalgam materials as bio-hazardous material, if it was safe? And the government deems it fine in our mouths, close to our brains and our central nervous system. What would be the damage there, right?

Tomorrow I have another dentist appointment. After tomorrow I’ll be mercury free -as far as my teeth fillings go- in twenty something years. After I had four mercury fillings removed, all at the same time, about two months ago, I noticed, within hours the following: an extremely high amount of deja-vu’s and flash backs to my life back in Romania (and life before the mercury fillings, fillings which I received shortly after my arrival in United States). I felt as if air began moving in my head, predominantly in my left side (where I had four top fillings and two bottom fillings removed). Maybe some of you will think: well, Carmen that could be just you “feeling” a certain way based on some information you read. Well, within hours, I ran (even if for a minute or so- you must remember my muscles have been in a state of distrophy for almost four years now) after Alex, my youngest, while playing in a park close by our apartment. That has not happened in years! What I found interesting, was the instinct that kicked in to run and the body did so without thinking. I could not do that before, since I was in a fog like state around the clock. The periferral shadows that kept me in a constant jumpy state, disappeared. I haven’t seen them since. The fogged mind decreased 70% and my overall energy increased dramatically, to a point where I began to play tennis with my family-even if it was for ten minutes and it took a feverish week of recovery after that- but my body hasn’t experienced that kind of exercise in four years. I did have to go through the detox process, intensified by the extreme heat of this summer and continual fight of Lyme, Bartonella and Babesia flare-ups.

I do not pretend to tell you it was easy- it was not- but it was necessary and finally my immune system was strong enough to endure such a long ordeal (I began the dental work in spring).

Have I noticed a difference? Absolutely. Has my family noticed a difference? Absolutely. Am I 100% better? No. As much as I tell myself that I’m totally cured -an emotional and mental strategy of believing even if I’m not feeling 100% yet- it’s a much better approach toward my views of life than the pathetic advise of some of the doctors I’ve seen (all western medicine practitioners); You’re one of those unfortunate cases and you’ll have to just accept your new reality. The hell with that. I have another reality I keep telling them: I’ll be the 1% case to fully recover, you’ll see. And I walk away with a new battle strategy in my head. Our bodies can heal themselves if given the right info and opportunity. And that’s all there is to it- at least as far as I’m concerned. Will I die one day? Of course I will- unless I find out that I’m actually Wonder Woman. But should that keep me from fighting? I think not.

For all of you who hurt and battle, constantly, such horrible pain but are subjected to the lame medical excuses and remarks such as; I don’t see anything wrong with you (as if all the medical mysteries have been discovered already and they have all the answers), you fight back and tell yourself: I’ll be the 1% to fully recover! It is not easy, especially emotionally. When I saw myself so very ill and limited, without medical answers I had doubts too. It’s a very intense battle to not let go and let be, and most days feels like you’re stuck in a hopeless whirlpool intensified by the doctor’s ignorance and coldness towards you. But… there’s the will to fight and get better too:))))) And with that (and the belief in God, in my case:) you can climb the impossible mountain. Sure it takes effort. Sure it takes persistence. Sure it takes action. But it feels great when the pain subsides and your ghostly body gets up and out of the suffering bed and meets life, one step at the time.

Be the 1% too:)

God bless:)

Europe’s storms

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

A few countries were hit by big storms, Spain and Romania among them. Apparently the storm is moving towards Portugal.

There were fatalities (last picture: a cement post at the entrance of Timisoara city fell on the car, killing the driver), but my siblings had minor damage or none to their properties and we’re not sure how our house has mended yet. We’ll find out tomorrow. Apparently the storm traveled through our village and one of my brother’s property got damaged somehow. My sister’s house lost a few roof tiles- mostly dislocated a few- but all in all, thank God all is well. There are many wounded and the numbers are still coming in.

Europe stay safe! You have people who love you:)

God Bless:)