For all the women:) Pentru toate femeile:)

Past has dragged us through enough pain and misery in this life. So let us do something about it!

Father God I’m sorry that at one point I let fear take over my mind, that fear produced the bad habit of bitterness and anger to such extent that it stole away my true joy. I’m sorry for making excuses and holding on to that fear, for not believing you are on my side and blaming you for that fear. But I see how has been hurting my children and I can’t bear to know they’ll be wrapped up in the suffocating habit of a joyless life. I must ask for your forgiveness, I must have joy and peace so I can clearly direct my children and my grandchildren towards a life full of joy and love. I know it took time to get where I am and it may take time for me to undo this but I know that I have you on my side and all will be well. Amen

All women of past pain remember how strong you truly are. Make a habit of remembering the good things about yourself, and get in the habit of believing them. There’s always goodness in us, always value in us, always great potential. Today let it be the day you allow yourself to see what God sees, amazing potential and a great warrior:)))))))))))

Trecutu ne-a târât prin destule dureri și destula mizerie în această viață. E timpul sa schimbam anumite aspecte in felul negativ de gindire asupra proprii fiinte.

Dumnezeu Tatăl din ceruri Îmi pare rău că la un moment dat am lăsat frica să preia felul de gindire al meu, acea frica a produs prostul obicei de amărăciune și mânie în gindire in asa măsură încât mi-a furat adevărata mea bucurie. Îmi pare rău pentru ca am facut scuze in trecut sa nu alung aceasta frica, pentru că nu am avut destula credinta ca tu Doamne esti de partea mea și ca am pus vina pe tine pentru multe lucruri. Dar văd ca treaba asta mi-a rănit copiii și eu nu pot accepta să-i știu înfășurati în mod sufocant de frica si o viață lipsita de bucurie launtrica care numai Bunul Dumnezeu o poate da. Trebuie să am bucurie și pace, ca sa-mi pot educa si direcționa în mod clar atit copiii mei cit și nepoții mei spre o viață plină de bucurie și dragoste. Știu că a luat timp pentru a ajunge unde sunt și va lua timp pentru a-mi schimba felul de gindire, dar nu sint singura pe drumul asta te am pe tine o Doamne. Amin

Toate femeile ale durerilor din trecut aduceti-va aminte cat de puternice sinte-ti:)  Face-ti-va un nou obicei, de a va aminti lucrurile bune asupra fiintei voastre, și de a lua în obiceiul de a crede aceste lucruri bune. Există întotdeauna bunătate în noi, întotdeauna valoare în noi, întotdeauna un mare potențial. Astăzi lăsați să fie o zi in care sa vă permiteți să vedeți ceea ce vede Dumnezeu in voi, potențial uimitor! :))))

Welcome to Serenity / Bine-ati venit la calm

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There are days when this is all the serenity we get, so enjoy it:))))))) Next week is the final IV treatment, and so far I can tell you one important fact; it’s working. Translation: I can be in public places without having some seizure like episodes, I can exercise, and I’m able to stop the insane habit of overdoing (stuff that later doesn’t matter much, that’s what). I’m sure a new treatment will follow, since this one is dealing with invaders such as mold and toxins, and a weak CNS (Central Nervous System).

On a different note, this is for all the people out there (you know who you are) including myself that have nothing better to do than tell a very ill person some horrible stories they’ve heard about someone who died because the disease their were fighting against won. Stop it! I was in the IV room yesterday and two brain tumor stage four clients were on either side of me, one was passed out from the weak stage he was in the other quite the opposite, she kept going on and on with stories of all these cancer patients and the medical dehumanization experiences they went through with their doctors. Been there done that and I agree with her, but I was there to heal, not to be reminded why I was hooked up to some yellow medication slowly dripping in my veins. I began feeling ill, my arm hurt like no other treatment before then I realized yet again (some lessons are better learned after multiple repetition), the body is attached to the soul and the spirit. If I experience fear the body responds to that, pain is the result. Hmm, I’m done now:)

My mom’s doing better, she’s on a new treatment and insulin shots then next week she’ll be admitted one day for more testing. That’s how they roll with it in Romania:)

On a political note, I wanted more accurate news than CNN about the Syrian immigrants so I went to none other than the people on the front line, who live there and are directly affected by this. In addition to what we’re tolled on the news this is what I found out:

  1. The majority of them are men. (Not women and children, just to clarify)
  2. They refuse food and shelter in other countries, because they have one goal, to get to Germany.
  3. There’s clearly organized groups of men traveling with high technology.
  4. They avoid being filmed.
  5. Three ISIS terrorists were caught in Bulgaria (I have not confirmed this by looking up the info online).
  6. Their main goal is to make it to Germany.
  7. As soon as they arrive in Germany they demand their rights, don’t work and make fun of the German humanitarian workers there to help them.
  8. About a reported 600 000 of immigrants entered Germany up to this point, more planning to come.
  9. Local population very unhappy, uneasy with what’s going on, due to the lack of respect towards the country they entered, the countries’ laws and culture.
  10. Russia was clear about one thing: you come into our country you follow our laws and culture, no reported mass of immigrants moving into Russia.
  11. Refusing Hungarian asylum and food, wanting to use their trains to get to Germany only.           This type of news from mouths of regular people with no reason to lie, bring up few questions about the whole thing. Maybe you feel the same. Well this is all the news I have to today, have a great weekend and talk to you next time. In and out!

Avem zile cind calmul nostru este subjugat, facindu-ne sa ne simtim mai degraba ca evadatii de la zam:) Dar trec si asemenea zile si pe urma ne reglam iara:) Saptamina viitoare am ultima transfuzie, si multumesc Bunului Dumnezeu ca ma simt mai bine si vad ca ma ajuta. Acuma am putere sa ies la magazin, sau sa fac exercitii, totul limitat inca dar sint multumitoare. Azi am avut onoarea sa stau de vorba cu mama:) Se simte mai bine, are tratament nou si se va interna saptamina viitoare  o zi pentru ai face analize noi. Am vorbit un pic de persoane dragi din trecut de care mi-aduc aminte cu drag, ca de exemplu de data asta Maricica si tanti Cioana:) Ma gindesc mereu si la Mihaela prietena mea din Romania, si ma bucur cind o vad fericita in vacanta alaturi de familie. Am vorbit si cu citiva frati care mi-au dat stiri mai reale la adresa emigrantilor din Siria. Ufta. Dar viata merge in continuare si sper ca putem sa ne bucuram de ea, ca-i tare valoroasa viata asta:) E cadou de la Bunul Dumnezeu care ne-a dat-o cu intentia sa ne bucuram de ea si de cei din jurul nostru. Okay deja ma adorm singura cu baladele astea melancolice asa ca mai bine inchei aici:)))) Va doresc un sfirsit de saptamina plin de sanatate si multe zimbete:)

Prayers for my mom, please. Rugaciuni pentru mama mea, va rog.

I found myself kneeling today once again before God, both asking and thanking him for his help over my mom who, I found out few hours ago, has been in the hospital these past four days. One kidney totally non-functional and the other one on life support, her creatinine very elevated as well. She’ll be in there for few more days, on treatment and supervision. My mom has lives on the “verge on impossibility” as my sister Delia puts it these past 18 years regarding her health. Major health issues with doctors surprised she’s still breathing. I’ve also seen a woman of faith during these times, strong and not ready to give up but willing to let God have the final say in her life. She’s avoided the hospital like a plaque and for good reasons, but it seems that run has come to a temporary stop. But I’ve been allowed to see something today, a weak and battered body from the inside with all the tissues, nerves, cells and bones, and a liquid light holding everything together like glue. It’s the relationship between God and my mom, my mom and God. When we’re too weak to function his light of great life holds us together:)))))))))) John 1:4

M-am gasit in postura de a ma ingenuchia din nou inaintea Bunului D-zeu, de data asta in sprijinul si sustinerea mamei mele care, am aflat azi, e internata in spital de patru zile. Un rinichi a dat faliment si celalalt e beteag rau. Creatinina e mare (5), normal ar trebui sa fie la 1. Functiile renale sunt atacate de diabet si ne rugam sa nu ajunga la dializa. Ea e in tratement acuma (ceva perfuzii), dar are speranta ca Bunul D-zeu le vede pe toate si le are in control. Mama mea a fost de cind o stiu eu cu cutitul la git din punct de vedere al sanatatii, nasteri grele sau complicatii, tensiune mare etc, si cum zice sora mea Delia “traieste pe linia imposibilitatii” de vreo 18 ani. Dar eu vad altceva, in imagina mintii mele, precum cred ca Duhul Sfint a avut bunatatea sa-mi arate, am vazut un corp slabit si trecut prin multe greutati, tesuturi de muschi, nervi, singe etc cu multe probleme din punct de vedere pamintesc, dar era si altceva in corp, o lumina lichida in fiecare tesut, celula, nerv etc care le tinea pe toate in functiune si in viata. Credinta mamei mele in Bunul D-zeu si viata suflata de Bunul Dumnezeu in tesutul fiintei ele au o legatura as de puternica, o relatie pe vecie. Si asta ma face sa zimbesc si sa stiu ca totul va fii bine orice ar fi. Dumnezeu este lumina si viata, si-i multumesc asa de mult de dragostea lui fata de noi toti!


Ioan 1:4