Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you!!!!! It’s funny seeing all the buzz here in town, bouquet of flowers sold, balloons and cards picked as most people have someone  to shower them with love. Today I was reminded yet again about the difference between where we used to live and where we leave now. The choice of Valentines Cards in this particular store i went to was downright depressing. It seems that in Seattle the main theme during Valentines is to be vulgar, sarcastic and crass to your loved one, at least from the choices of Valentine’s Cards. I managed to find a cute one for Chet and I sure hope he’ll find a great one for me, if not, I totally understand. I saw the poor choices I had to work with.

I smile but I mourn as well. I can’t help it. Today Linda Lothrop Schrott lost her life to cancer. I met Linda in CFC (Christian Faith Center) church and from the get go I liked her. It was her Italian charm and big smile and she just seemed to radiate love all around her. One meets such a person few times in their lives and that’s enough. I’ve had that privilege. I knew her briefly but that was enough to imprint a fond memory in my soul. So between tears, I’m planing the dinner for tonight and the dessert, because for the rest of us still have to go on living realizing just how short and fragile this life can be and what a blessing it is we’re still here making memories and hopefully living a good life.

Once again, Happy Valentine’s Day from us to you guys and don’t forget to smile despite the tears that may invade our lives at times. I will forever miss Linda and I’m so great full I  knew her:)

God Bless.

Today is a historical day as the 45th elect president Donald Trump has been sworn in. I watched with a smile on my face, yet a bit saddened to see President Obama’s turn end. I realize this is such a sensitive time for some, and even though I too was surprised Trump won, I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’ll do a great job. I’m aware mistakes will be made just as all preceding presidents have had their fare share of mistakes. However, I like to focus on what he could accomplish as president and hopefully great things will follow. Time will tell.

Here in Seattle there are few protests against Trump. Now how is that helping this country? I’m very surprised with the Hillary supporters or Democratic Party (I’m not part of any parties) that pride themselves on their intelect yet responding to the new president  with such hostility. Just saying. Surprised.

Well in the history of America today is a historical day as president Trump, the 45th US president starts his four year run.

God Bless America and the new US President Donald Trump.

Since couple of weeks ago when I saw the battle Linda’s in, I went through multiple emotional, as we often do when we hear someone we like is going through a very hard battle. Linda is one of the brightest smiles I’ve ever met. We met in CFC church and her smile stuck in my heart. Seeing her fight cancer is painful.

Linda, if you’ll ever read this, you’re not alone in the fight. I may not be close enough to hold your hand and drag the IV around while cracking bad jokes, but I am praying for you daily and my heart just can’t stop not thinking about you. The Lord is your shepherd and  even though you walk through the darkest valley, you’re not alone and never will you be, for God, the most important being in this world is right there with you. I’m on the other side of the valley and I can tell you one sure thing: I’ve made it only because of God’s love and everyone else’s love. Keep on fighting this isideous enemy and know that you have many people on your side, praying.

Love you, and I’m sorry for the pain.

Love Carmen

I’ve had a few appointments today, one and IV, one a follow-up. The results: Babesia flaring up, neurological issues. (Details  on the Home page). New treatment, new battle strategy fantastic hope;) Other than that I’m great and the family is doing well, except Chet’s fighting a nasty flue:(

Have a fantastic day! I sure am having one:))

Am abut o programare azi cu doctorul si o perfuzie. Diagnostic: Parazitul de Babesia si-a facut din nou prezenta si probleme neurologice (detalii la pagina de HOME, si in engleza sint mai bune). Tratament nou si mergem inainte plini de bucuria zilei de azi multumind lui Dumnezeu pentru toate:)

If God is not real who were the four beings in the four corners of my room guarding me for months during the worst time of my life? From whom were they guarding me? And why did I need guarding?

These are questions for those of you who doubt. I had my moments of such doubt, but then I realized one very important thing: I was doubting the religion of God and it’s ineffective ways, what I didn’t bother to do is take time to know the real God, the one away from man-made religion, the one and only, call it what you want, I call him God.

Very few people really know us. Right? Any that do, it’s because they took the time to know us. Most people talk about us as if they really know us, and most times they are wrong about us. Isn’t that so? They never took the time, for whatever reason, to really know us and vice-versa.  So, is there a possibility that you may not know the real God but you may only know the religion of God?

Those four beings, tall and powerful, knew someone that knew me and loved me and made sure I was protected. I call him God.

Dacă Dumnezeu nu este real, cine au fost cele patru ființe în cele patru colțuri ale camerei mele care m-au păzit luni de zile în timpul cel mai grav al vieții mele? De cine mă păzeau ei? Și de ce aveam nevoie de pază?

Acestea sunt cîteva întrebări pentru cei care se îndoiesc de existența lui Dumnezeu. Am avut momentele mele de dubiu în trecut, dar mi-am dat seama de un lucru foarte important: îndoielile mele erau la adresa religiei de Dumnezeu și ale căilor ei ineficiente, dar nu m-am deranja să îmi fac timp pentru a cunoaște pe adevăratul Dumnezeu, cel care nu are deaface cu căile religioase inventate de om. 

Foarte puțini oameni ne cunosc cu adevărat. Nu-i așa? Dar cei care ne cunosc, ne cunosc  pentru că și-au facut timp și au pus efort în a ne cunoaște, și invers. Cei mai mulți oameni vorbesc de noi ca și cum ne cunosc cu adevărat dar de cele mai multe ori nu ne cunosc de loc. Nu-i așa? Deci, există posibilitate de a nu-l cunoaște pe adevăratul Dumnezeu, ci doar o fațadă religioasă a lui Dumnezeu.

Acele patru ființe, înalte și puternice, îl cunoșteau pe cel care mă cunoaște pe mine și care mă iubește și m-au protejat sub direcția celui care mă cunoaște cu adevărat. Eu îl numesc Dumnezeu. Dumnezeul Bibliei, nu a religiei. 

Right? Ha, ha, ha.

A new year means new hope but if we’re dragging with us the old way of thinking, this new year will quickly become the same-old stuff.

I’m looking for a part-time job and when I say part time, I mean very much part-time job, preferably work from home. Yes, I’m getting better with remnants of reality check now and then. Like today. I woke up, half blind, nausea, headache, sensitivity to light and noise and so fatigued I think I borrowed my neighbor’s heart to keep me going:) However…I pulled out a new lego set, sat down and while playing (my new therapy) I began thanking God for what I had left and functional:))) Like my brain faculties for one, now taking me down the list of possible causes for me hugging the floors. I’m on toxicity removal treatment and this could’ve been just a herx reaction. For those who’ve had one, you’re probably laughing at the word “just”, because a herx reaction feels like you’re dying and there isn’t much anyone can do, besides keeping you stable until it passes.

“Just ride the waves, Carmen, tomorrow it will be a good day but today just ride the waves and remember, everything is temporary, even pain.” That’s what I told myself and when I felt well enough to hold it together I walked to Trader Joe and shopped for dinner thankful on the outside I looked alright and no one knew the pain going on inside.

So, I’m looking for a part-time job, writing two novels and thanking God because I’m alive to be able to feed my family one more home cooked meal, that will taste delicious, if I may say so myself:) And, one more thing: Hi Gabi!!!!!!

What Is A Herxheimer Reaction?

2016 has been a good year for the McKnight family and we’re very grateful to God and each other for everything we did together:)

2017 be as great or better than your predecessor:) May God be with you and us this coming year!!!!!!

LA MULTI ANI!!!!!!

2016 a fost un an bun pentru familia McKnight si sintem foarte multumitori Bunului Dumnezeu pentru momentele anului 2016 🙂

2017 te primim cu speranta ca vei fi tot asa de bun ca 2016 atit pentru noi cit si pentru familia si prietenii nostrii dar mai presus de toate ii multumim lui Dumnezeu pentru aportunitatea de a experimenta un an nou.

One of my sister-in-law’s niece, died today. A car drove onto a sidewalk, smacked into a light pole and the light pole crashed into Gianina’s head, killing her hours later. This family lost a son recently to bone cancer (Gianina’s brother) and I can’t imagine the pain they’re going again through. Thank you for your prayers.

Verisoara cumnatei mele Cornelia, Gianina, a murit azi:( O masina a intrat pe trotuar si intr-un indicator, indicatorul cazind in capul lui Gianina punind-o intr-o stare critica, dupa care a murit. (De citeva minute).  Familia au peirdut alt copil recent, care a murit de cancer la oase (un frate al Gianinei). Ne rugam pentru familia lor si pentru alinare in momente atit de grele. Alte cuvinte nu mai am, e prea dureros.

http://invaslui.ro/2016/12/30/un-sofer-a-ajuns-cu-masina-pe-trotuar-si-a-izbit-un-indicator-rutier-indicatorul-a-lovit-o-adolescenta-fata-este-la-spital-in-coma/

Some of the fears and hurts I wanted to overcome this year.

–To not allow this sickness to define me as a sick person. I did not call it my sickness, my Lyme Disease, My NeuroLyme or My Coinfections. I did small things that took great effort but did it anyway.

–To not allow this sickness to limit my potential as a human being. I no longer could do massage or any strenuous activities for longer periods of time (some days 20 min. was too long) so I did them slower, fragmented them, I accepted help and I redirected my focus towards writing and editing the Romanian version of a book I wrote.

–To not allow this sickness to trap me into a victim mentality individual. This one is a hard one. The mind has a tendency to re-wire and build a new normal where we end up accepting some pain that signals danger as part of health. I fight with this one regularly but I constantly readjust myself. As a result, we; sold out house in June, rid ourselves of 80% of material stuff, moved into a 900 square feet apartment in Queen Anne Seattle moved again in October to an apartment with more windows and natural light and loved every minute of it. We have less stuff, more time with each other and a lifestyle we used to dream about. We did it. Our girl is in college, our little boy in a good school and school club our eldest son works at Amazon. I distanced myself from toxic people so I can heal. We did all these things while I was still on treatment, IV’s included.

So don’t give up, at whatever level you are today, but readjust and keep on fighting:)

Have a great day and with God on our side, all things are possible.