Right? Ha, ha, ha.
A new year means new hope but if we’re dragging with us the old way of thinking, this new year will quickly become the same-old stuff.
I’m looking for a part-time job and when I say part time, I mean very much part-time job, preferably work from home. Yes, I’m getting better with remnants of reality check now and then. Like today. I woke up, half blind, nausea, headache, sensitivity to light and noise and so fatigued I think I borrowed my neighbor’s heart to keep me going:) However…I pulled out a new lego set, sat down and while playing (my new therapy) I began thanking God for what I had left and functional:))) Like my brain faculties for one, now taking me down the list of possible causes for me hugging the floors. I’m on toxicity removal treatment and this could’ve been just a herx reaction. For those who’ve had one, you’re probably laughing at the word “just”, because a herx reaction feels like you’re dying and there isn’t much anyone can do, besides keeping you stable until it passes.
“Just ride the waves, Carmen, tomorrow it will be a good day but today just ride the waves and remember, everything is temporary, even pain.” That’s what I told myself and when I felt well enough to hold it together I walked to Trader Joe and shopped for dinner thankful on the outside I looked alright and no one knew the pain going on inside.
So, I’m looking for a part-time job, writing two novels and thanking God because I’m alive to be able to feed my family one more home cooked meal, that will taste delicious, if I may say so myself:) And, one more thing: Hi Gabi!!!!!!
What Is A Herxheimer Reaction?
The technical definition for a Herxheimer Reaction (i.e., herxing or die off) is the release of endotoxins
from the destroyed cell walls of the bacteria responsible for Lyme Disease, Borrelia Burgdorferi, that causes an additional inflammatory response (i.e., debilitating physical and mental state) contingent to the amount of endotoxins released, which is directly correlated to the amount of Lyme bacteria killed (i.e., lysed).
Am intrat intr-un an nou, dar asta nu inseamna ca am intrat intr-un an fara durere. Dar daca aducem cu noi felul vechi de gindire, unii din noi nu vom avea un an bun.
Anul asta voi incerca sa-mi gasesc de lucru, o zi pe saptamina, si vom merge inainte. Lucrez la doua carti si sper sa termin una sau poate amindoua pina la sfirsitul anului.
Azi m-am sculat jumate oarba, cu greturi imense, dureri de cap, sensibilitate la lumina si sunet si atit de obosita, cred ca am imprumutat inima vecinei sa pot functiona. Sint pe tratament de detoxificare si probabil ca a avut deaface cu asta. Dar i-am multumit Bunului Dumnezeu pentru partile care inca functionau bine si mi-am zis cu voce tare de citeva ori:
“Carmen, azi va trece, char daca mai greu, dar va trece si miine va fi o zi mai buna. Totul e temporar, pina si durerea e temporara.”
Mai tirziu am mers la magazinul de alimente de la parter sa fac cumparaturi pentru cina: pireu cu pui si asparagus si salata de rosii si castraveti:)
Domnul e bun, si uite asa pot face o mincare buna pentru familie si mergem inainte pina imi va spune El: Pina aici a fost Carmen:) Dar pina atunci, traiesc viata ca sa nu regret ca nu am trait darul asta minunat dat de Dumnezeu numit viata:)