Happy New Year! La Multi Ani!

IMG_01092016 has been a good year for the McKnight family and we’re very grateful to God and each other for everything we did together:)

2017 be as great or better than your predecessor:) May God be with you and us this coming year!!!!!!



2016 a fost un an bun pentru familia McKnight si sintem foarte multumitori Bunului Dumnezeu pentru momentele anului 2016 🙂

2017 te primim cu speranta ca vei fi tot asa de bun ca 2016 atit pentru noi cit si pentru familia si prietenii nostrii dar mai presus de toate ii multumim lui Dumnezeu pentru aportunitatea de a experimenta un an nou.

Mourning/ In durere

One of my sister-in-law’s niece, died today. A car drove onto a sidewalk, smacked into a light pole and the light pole crashed into Gianina’s head, killing her hours later. This family lost a son recently to bone cancer (Gianina’s brother) and I can’t imagine the pain they’re going again through. Thank you for your prayers.

Verisoara cumnatei mele Cornelia, Gianina, a murit azi:( O masina a intrat pe trotuar si intr-un indicator, indicatorul cazind in capul lui Gianina punind-o intr-o stare critica, dupa care a murit. (De citeva minute).  Familia au peirdut alt copil recent, care a murit de cancer la oase (un frate al Gianinei). Ne rugam pentru familia lor si pentru alinare in momente atit de grele. Alte cuvinte nu mai am, e prea dureros.


2016 Highlights

Some of the fears and hurts I wanted to overcome this year.

To not allow this sickness to define me as a sick person. I did not call it my sickness, my Lyme Disease, My NeuroLyme or My Coinfections. I did small things that took great effort but did it anyway.

To not allow this sickness to limit my potential as a human being. I no longer could do massage or any strenuous activities for longer periods of time (some days 20 min. was too long) so I did them slower, fragmented them, I accepted help and I redirected my focus towards writing and editing the Romanian version of a book I wrote.

To not allow this sickness to trap me into a victim mentality individual. This one is a hard one. The mind has a tendency to re-wire and build a new normal where we end up accepting some pain that signals danger as part of health. I fight with this one regularly but I constantly readjust myself. As a result, we; sold out house in June, rid ourselves of 80% of material stuff, moved into a 900 square feet apartment in Queen Anne Seattle moved again in October to an apartment with more windows and natural light and loved every minute of it. We have less stuff, more time with each other and a lifestyle we used to dream about. We did it. Our girl is in college, our little boy in a good school and school club our eldest son works at Amazon. I distanced myself from toxic people so I can heal. We did all these things while I was still on treatment, IV’s included.

So don’t give up, at whatever level you are today, but readjust and keep on fighting:)

Have a great day and with God on our side, all things are possible.


Love does not hurt

Liam Neeson said in one interview;

“Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.”

I wish you have a new year full of love and void of loneliness, rejection, envy, pity, hate and sadness.

Yesterday was a hard day for my family, yet, simultaneously was a day of family strength. Only in unity, we can withstand the hardships of this life. Surround yourself with each other’s love and you’ll be fine:)

Merry Christmas Eve!

December 24

It’s almost here! Christmas is almost here!!!!!! Thank God I get to see another Christmas and celebrate more time with my loved ones. Have a great Christmas Eve! Here’s a Christmas song, performed by few of my brothers and sister-in-laws, niece and friends from Germany:)

Performers; Tibi, Sergiu, Nico, Michelle, Brigitte, Christmas Tree, Money, Christmas decorations and few friends of Sergiu’s. Thanks to Brigitte for the staging decoration:) All rights reserved:)

The Time That Ticks Today

Tic, Toc, the time moves on, moving us closer to the end of the year, to presents and family reunions, to joys and sadness and for me, like some of you, to a dreaded date. You see in only five days what once was alive is no longer with us. My little brother. This time of year is hard for my mom, for Alin and then for the rest of us brothers and sisters. This time of year we bleed while smiling, we mourn while in the midsts of parties and friends, this time of year we grieve. Fanu is no longer with us, he’s no longer among us yet he is still part of us. Always. This time of year…

I try to be strong and I try not to bleed, but I bleed non-the-less. I usually don’t talk about it with anyone but Chet. This year, I’m talking to you only because to me right now you look like a white piece of paper, safe and non-judgmental. But some of you may read this and think I’m trying to get some attention. I’m not. I can mourn him, like all these past years, in the privacy of my heart, but then I remember that you too, some at least, are mourning as well, are bleeding privately. And that’s the only reason I’m sharing now because you are bleeding as well. Silently.

At least God is with us. He too lost someone dear. He too bled. Silently.

And so I grieve, and cry and mourn, for I can’t forget my little brother, the brave little man that he was fighting until his very last breath. He loved cars and soccer balls and he loved candy and playing outside in the courtyard. He loved. And that’s why we miss him because love leaves traces everywhere it goes. And he sure left a huge trace on our hearts and if you’re reading this Fanu: We really miss you and love you forever.

Your big sis.