Many times a day I feel the need to talk to you, not for my sake, but for your sake… okay maybe a little for my sake:) You see, I so very much enjoy the shadows now, the liberty and calm one experiences away from the public eye, not to mention the clarity of thought over  one’s priorities. But there’s always that constant nag I feel that you need encouragement, whoever you are, so I must find a way to leave my comfort from the shadows and reach out to you. You see, once I’ve walked dangerously close to the edge of the other side, so many things become clear and any type of attention is no longer important or craved.

How about you? How are you? Possibly struggling in some sort of way otherwise, I wouldn’t feel this overwhelming voice of God letting me know you need encouragement. I can tell you one very important fact: everything is temporary, including this pain you find yourself overwhelmed by it. It is a falsehood directed your way in an effort to distract you from one fact- this too shall pass, and the sun will shine once again in your life. The second falsehood is this (one I still remind myself of and try to grasp its trueness): your value is far greater than you allow yourself to see it and your potential is infinite.

So I conclude here, thinking and praying for you because you matter just as I matter.

Have a peaceful evening and listen to as many jokes as possible on YouTube:)

And so a new leaf turned for America yesterday as Elected President Donald Trump won. But as a citizen of United States, a bit uneasy and disappointed with the equally poor examples of candidates allowed to run, I was very surprised over the bluntly biased comments of the media as they realized the unexpected was happening. I’ve heard insults addressed to their underestimation over the large amounts of votes by the uneducated people of the rural area, then it turned into a racist matter but not against the African Americans, it was against the white men of this country and on and on. How are those comments not offensive, biased and discriminatory? Those “uneducated” people feed us and build the very things we use on daily basis, they also sustain a good part of this economy running, not to mention they have every right to vote the way they choose to. Actually, we may be those uneducated people. And since the media staff clearly defines themselves as educated, where was the proof of that education yesterday? Where is the proof of that education today or in the days to come? They did the same with Obama, rooted for him only to tear him apart right after he won. This article is about the media, their ineptitude, their biased views, their ignorance and downright arrogance.

Hillary Clinton fought hard and ran a typical campaign. It was all the lies she was caught in that most likely did her in. Clearly, the media was rooting for her. Clearly. They have the same freedom as the rest of us to choose, however, to be such cry babies over their loss is downright pathetic. They can dish it but they can’t take it. Also, as I see it, the media is like one group of old cynical men and women gathered for one collective purpose- to gossip. They pick apart the very people that, whether with good intentions or not, have the courage to do something in this world.

I’ve heard from closer sources about the suicide hotlines, the depression, and fear going around among many people. They predict doom and gloom coming our way. Just like the democratic party and most women predicted Hillary was going to win, and yet look what happened. Predicting does not guarantee an outcome, so please get a grip of yourself and have some faith. Maybe Trump will surprise us all. I expected Hillary to win, and I’m just as surprised as most of you that Trump won. Now that he won, I do hope he’ll do a good job for our country. But all these words are just the ramblings of one citizen and her opinion. And if we know one thing to be true is that every single one of us has an opinion about everything. Time, as always, will tell.

GOD BLESS AMERICA and GOD BLESS THE WHOLE WORLD.

It may as well say: But without exception, WE all began to make excuses. Luke 14:18

This morning I have been awakened by a friend. I guess, a little unbeknown to me, I’ve been dwindling in some regression steps, due to confusion, disappointment and who knows what else in my walk on this earth with my friend God. I know, some of you may have rolled your eyes just now, as I too have done this many times in the past upon hearing such expression. And yet, he, I mean God, is the only one that keeps coming back for me after every tantrum, either through my great husband Chet or, like today, through a friend. And in the face of such love I can only shed tears of joy and thankfulness.

You see, the verse quoted above includes me as well. I’m sure you find yourself among those lines, among the past or present memories. It’s not easy walking in a broken body or a wounded mind, but it’s not impossible either. I allowed some recent symptoms to trigger old fears.

“I am no longer sick” it should mean “I no longer have symptoms.” At least in my book. Don’t be alarmed, the symptoms are mild, and I’m taking actions, the fear, however, is the one I must conquer constantly. As should you.

But how do I keep spreading the good in me without allowing the bad to enter in? My friend responded and I quote:”I think the only way is by opening ourselves up to God’s love. His illumination is what brings that deeper part of ourselves more and more into focus. Yes, the path through which love flows out of the heart is the same path by which it enters. And I believe that flow is actually one single movement, not two.” Brilliant.

Winter time is harder on anyone fighting an immune system disease, especially those in a chronic state and though I find myself poorly qualified to encourage anyone of you, please do fight, and learn to recognize and love the moments of peace and love sent your way by none other than God. Inside yourself, a strong warrior slashes faithfully all your enemies, give it the cheer it deserves. You are far stronger than you see yourself.

I thank God for all of you, even if for the selfish reason that my life is far better with you in it, I’m still thankful:) Have a blessed day.

P.S. Recently I’ve begun a new protocol of flower essence, in addition to everything else I’m doing and noticed small improvements. It’s been only three days. I’m adding info below if you want to go checking out yourself.

http://www.freedom-flowers.com/

It’s the state that describes me at the moment. Tomorrow I’m going to see one of my best friends, Elizabeth. All morning long I’ve made little mistakes, you know, the kind everyone makes when they happily look forward to something and stop paying attention to what they’re doing. Yep, those kinds of mistakes. As for my health… it’s all good:) No more IV’s now, only supplements and a good diet, but mostly a lack of fear towards living life. Have a great weekend:)

23 years ago, on October 15, 1993, I stepped off the plane and on American soil for the first time in my life. I was newly married and leaving my homeland, following my husband to his homeland. Well, my mother-in-law called and congratulated me two days ago on our coming anniversary, something I completely forgot about. Thank God she keeps scores of my life:) So, as a “hey congrats to you”, my wedding ring ( and I have absolutely no clue how it happened, just looked down on my finger when something felt funny) broke today. I wore that ring the past 20 years. Yehh, I know, you’re doing the math and something does not add up. Chet gave me the ring on one of our early anniversaries. I guess, it’s time for a new one:)

Well, on a different note, there’s a storm going on in Seattle and most people seem freaked out. I made a big pot of chicken dumpling soup so we’re set for now. I hope you have a great evening, stay safe and warm and God bless:)

“He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemy” Psalm 23:5

I sit now in the front of this computer and my heart is soaring above the past shadows of a painful past, thanking God that he allowed me to see the other side where life is beautiful, pain-free and precious. I see the table he prepared for me in the presence of my enemy, as if to say; my mark of favor over her is unmistakable. I not only seeing his favor but I have the privilege to feel it’s joy and taste it’s flavor. Well, we’ve been blessed so much lately and it’s all due to faith, perseverance, love, family and God.

My daughter just got accepted into a great college and got a scholarship to help with tuition, my eldest son got a great job and my youngest boy loves his new school. Chet and I love living our lives in Seattle more than we imagined possible. We look at each other  aware of what a blessing every moment together is. The privilege to be close to each other, to experience new things and to laugh again. Life is truly good. I remember a little over one year ago, both unsure if I would make it, dreaming of this very life we now live. I imagined this life back then and held on to this dream even when my body wanted to give up the fight. I kept on imagining this life and now, here we are living it, grateful every day to God.

And with this thought I leave you tonight: If you’re not on the other side just yet, if you’re still in the midsts of pain keep holding on to your dream and keep on fighting until you make it to the other side. Maybe one day we can meet and chat about the goodness of God. Have a great evening:)

Alex began 8th grade. His new school’s really nice. Meleah’s next, and Seattle Pacific University is calling her name:)

Today I had another follow-up appointment. The verdict? Continuing on the malaria IV, and few new supplements introduced, but overall we’re seeing the light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.

The Lyft rides were interesting today. On the way to Bellevue, there were two passengers, me and another girl, that was moving back to Oregon on the 17th, than a month later moving back to her native home, Uruguay. The driver was pregnant with her first child, a baby girl, and her ex-husband was Romanian. Well… Let’s move on:) On the way back, I met a nice man, named Kevin. The poor guy had his second heart attack on July 19th and spend his B-day, the 20th, in a coma, flatlined three times, but made it. He’s still somewhat weak, still recovering and feels that his heart got damaged this time. However, his love for music is infatuating. He sang in the car harmony to the background of one of his songs playing on the CD player, and his voice was awesome. It’s as if I got my own concert on the way home. Since a tube was down his throat during his three-day coma, he could no longer hit three top notes and was worried he never will. But seeing the near tears in his eyes every time he sang his songs I realized I saw a man in love. Not with a woman, but with music, wich somewhat explained his single status.

On a different note, we’re moving again. Same building, same floor, but all the way on the other end of the building:) Have a great day!

Last night my daughter had an emotional breakdown and as we tried to help her out it got worse. Chet and I sat dumbfounded, staring at each other, perplexed by our daughter’s accusations. She didn’t seem to be thinking clearly at all, accusing us of selfishness and being against her. It took a while for me to realize that sometimes, us girls, need to pour out our frustrations even if they don’t make any sense.

But today as I’m editing the Romanian version of my book, I came across a similar scenario, except I was the daughter and I had the same distrust towards my mother. She seemed so toughened up by the hardships of her life that expecting softness from her was unrealistic, even if very much desired. And some of my daughters’ words rang into my head: “I just need someone to listen and understand. I knew I wasn’t going to get it from you but in my delusion, I tried.” Have I become my mother in this regard? Don’t get me wrong, I love and very much admire my mother, but that does not mean everything was hunky dory. Have I allowed the hardships of my own life drain the softness right out of me? I may have. As I meditate at this new discovery, I pray I’ll find a way to undo some of this hardness and be able to listen to my own daughter and not rush into another life lessons. There are days we need understanding void of more life lessons.