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Durerea sufletului, boala corpului, suferinta spiritului

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

1 Tesaloniceni 5:23 (NTLR)

23 Însuşi Dumnezeul păcii să vă sfinţească în toate şi să vă păstreze întreaga fiinţă – duhul, sufletul şi trupul vostru – fără pată la venirea Domnului nostru Isus Cristos.

Traditional si religios, trupul a fost dat la o parte, gasit fara mare importanta in cercurile religioase urmat indeaproape de suflet, la fel gasit fara prea mare importanta. Numai spiritul omului a fost pus pe un pedestol ca singurul focus important in credinta. E ca si cum am spune, Isus nu e important, nici Duhul Sfant, numai Dumnezeu. In noi exista trei dimensiuni, trei atmosfere, trei lumi intr-una singura. Daca nu intelegem importanta acestor treimi care exista in noi, ne va fi foarte greu sa intelegem treimea dumnezeiasca. Fiecare latura are o importanta egala (nu mai mare sau mai mica) si toate trei au nevoie de o existenta harmonioasa pentru o relatie sanatoasa cu noi, intre noi, si cu Dumenzeu. Dar nu-i usor in a mentine harmonia intre cele trei: trup, suflet si spirit, asa-i? Parca aud deja remarci pline de furie, mai ales din partea extremista a unor crestini, dar pot spune cu convingere ca daca trupul si sufletul nu erau asa de importante nu erau atatea versete in Biblie dand sfaturi cum sa le ingrijim, respectam, hrani, imbraca, cultiva, pastra sanatoase.

Treimea dumnezeiasca exita in noi, pentru ca suntem facu-ti dupa chipul si asemarea Lui (treimii dumnezeiesti).

Daca trupul nu se simte bine, sufletul si spiritul sufera. Daca sufletul e bolnav, trupul si spiritul sufera, daca spiritul e bolnav trupul si sufletul sufera.

Am observat, atat la mine cat si la altii, ca trupeste poti fi sanatos si peste noapte in primejdie de moarte, desii poate doctorii nu pot gasi nimic grav in corp, producand confuzie. Bolile autoimmune, in schimb nu se vad pe masinariile medicale, sunt atata de sinistre si periculoase ca poti muri dintr-o muscatura a unei insecte extrem de mici. Dar bolile autoimmune, am observat, au un lucrul in comun- suflet bolnav care dealungul anilor a tot scurs otrava in corp fara sa ne dam seama manifestat intr-un system imun slabit.

Romani 12:2 a fost tocit in mintile noastre cu o latura spirituala dar, din punctul meu de vedere, incompleta. Nu ai cum sa-ti reinoiesti gandirea, daca esti invatat ca-ci gandurile noastre nu sunt importante, partial importante sau importante numai cand are de a face cu o latura religioasa. Asta inseamna ca unicatul nostrul, RNA, calitatile noastre etc, la care Dumenzeu cu drag a lucrat sa ne formeze nu-s asa de importante ca de exemplu a stii scriptura de la cap la coada si invers.

Sufletul meu a fost bolnav ani de zile, scurgand continu ortrava in corp, in forma de furie si neiertare. Te rog nu fa aceeasi greseala. Sanatatea corpulu si a sufletului sunt in mod egal extem de importante, ca si partea spirituala:)  Incepe a ierta, incepand cu tine si bucura-te de momentele mici binecuvantate din viata:)

Va doresc o zi binecuvantata la toti:)

 

Carte Noua!

/ Carmen McKnight / 2 Comments

 

frame-coperta

O marturisire personala, acum pe piata privata Romaneasca:))))

Detaliile sunt afisate pe pagina Book/Carte:) Pute-ti lasa mesaj privat pe Facebook sau telefon la sora mea Delia la +40 760 562 282 pentru a da comanda, cu numele, adresa si cantitatea de copii:) Imi pute-ti lasa si mie mesaj privat pe Facebook cu aceelasi detalii.

Costul: 30 de lei +11 lei prin rambus transportul (posta) in tara Romania.

Europe: 20 Euro (Inclus transportul in pret).

Pret redus pana la sfarsitul lunii pe paypal. (14 Euro sau 15$, transportul inclus)

 

Rascumparata Prin Iubire-Carte

Transportul inclus in pret. În 1989 după căderea communismului în România, nu numai țara se găsește în mijlocul multor schimbări dar și Carmen, o adolescentă hărțuită de încercări, printre care și un missionar American. Va reuși ea să înfrunte atât durerea trecutului cât și frica prezentă în fața alegerii unei vieți noi? Acest roman este bazat în totalitate pe experiențele personale a autorului și va trasporta cititorii în adâncul luptelor ei emoționale ca copil și în cele din urmă ca femeie, soție, soră și copil a lui Dumenezeu. Acest roman este primul într-o serie, bazat pe viețile fraților și a surorilor Damean din Hunedoara. 372 de pagini. In pret este inclus si transportul.

€14.00

America: $20 (transportul inclus in pret).

 

Rascumparata Prin Iubire- Carte

Transportul inclus in pret. În 1989 după căderea communismului în România, nu numai țara se găsește în mijlocul multor schimbări dar și Carmen, o adolescentă hărțuită de încercări, printre care și un missionar American. Va reuși ea să înfrunte atât durerea trecutului cât și frica prezentă în fața alegerii unei vieți noi? Acest roman este bazat în totalitate pe experiențele personale a autorului și va trasporta cititorii în adâncul luptelor ei emoționale ca copil și în cele din urmă ca femeie, soție, soră și copil a lui Dumenezeu. Acest roman este primul într-o serie, bazat pe viețile fraților și a surorilor Damean din Hunedoara. 372 de pagini.

$15.00

Multumesc anticipat 🙂

În 1989 după căderea communismului în România, nu numai țara se găsește în mijlocul multor schimbări dar și Carmen, o adolescentă hărțuită de încercări, printre care și un missionar American. Va reuși ea să înfrunte atât durerea trecutului cât și frica prezentă în fața alegerii unei vieți noi? Acest roman este bazat în totalitate pe experiențele personale a autorului și va trasporta cititorii în adâncul luptelor ei emoționale ca copil și în cele din urmă ca femeie, soție, soră și copil a lui Dumenezeu. Acest roman este primul într-o serie, bazat pe viețile fraților și a surorilor Damean din Hunedoara. 372 de pagini.

Vacation

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Four years ago, in the middle of suffering and when my life was spent mostly in bed for months at the time in unimaginable pain, I kept my focus on a particular image; a sunny day in the future enjoying myself as a healthy woman in the middle of nature- God’s creation.  This day came to past a few months back, however, a week ago we enjoyed our first vacation since 2014, four years ago when I fell ill. I can not express the intense joy I felt during multiple moments throughout this vacation and the thanksgiving my heart expressed to God for having the opportunity to re-live such moments, even if at some point the body began to protest intense fatigue. All I did, was to take time and rest, then resume our activities.

Why am I writing this to you? Because you’ve read and seen the side of me through pain and now I want to share the other side, the side of health, the walk of health, the walk towards health. While in pain, I visualized daily the very moments I finally got to live this past week! In the past, although the body was full of death threats, no one could steal my dream hidden deep within. Never give up and if you feel fatigued in your body or in the spirit, take a few moments to rest, then go on keeping your focus on your own image of hope. For me, that image of hope was in the middle of nature, the very nature where my suffering came from through the tick bite but I was determined not to let this pain keep me a prisoner of fear.

If you are in the midst of suffering right now, what would your focus of hope look like?  Joy, peace, love, safety, new friends, health? These are the most important and in the end, these are the fruits of God’s love for us, the acceptance of our own being (the creation of God) and the love of our neighbor. Forgiveness is the way which leads to them, forgiveness and perseverance. (I know some of you will contradict this last part, as I too contradicted this part in the past, especially forgiveness. I found excuses, telling myself that I was not the one who needed to forgive, I was the hurt one and not the abuser, but I was blinded by my own anger and hurt. I forgive so I can heal. I’m also wise and not allow broken people to determine my destiny.)

I wish you a beautiful summer day, a beautiful holiday for those of you who are or will go on vacation and the grace of God may continue to be upon us as always.

God Bless:)

Prima Vacanta Dupa Patru Ani

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

 

Acum patru ani, in perioada intensa a suferintei si o viata traita in pat luni de zile cu dureri de neimaginat, imi concentram gandurile la o zi insorita pe viitor unde voi putea iesi iara-si in natura bucurandu-ma ca omul sanatos de creatia lui Dumnezeu. Aceasta zi a venit cam de cateva luni, dar acum o saptamana, pentru prima data in patru ani familia noastra a avut parte de prima vacanta de cand am cazut la pat. Nu-mi pot exprima bucuria intensa care am simtit-o in orice clipa pe perioada vacantei si expresiile de multumire ridicate catre bunul Dumnezeu pentru asemenea momente. Desi la un moment dat corpul a inceput sa protesteze oboseala intensa, ceea ce ma facut ca sa ma odihnesc, am reluat activitatea mai apoi.

De ce va zic aceste lucruri? Pentru ca in durere, ceea ce am trait in mod real, era deja real in mintea si sufletul meu, si desi toate semnele trupesti erau pline numai de amenintari de moarte, nimeni si nimic nu ne poate fura visul din inima noastra. Nu va da-ti baruiti niciodata si daca simti-ti obosela in corp sau in spirit, lua-ti cateva momente de odihna, fiecare cum are nevoie, dar pe urma merge-ti mai departe, avand permanent in profilul viziunii imaginea sperantei. Pentru mine imaginea sperantei era in mijlocul naturii, aceeasi natura de unde a venit pericolul si suferinta prin muscatura de capuse. Asta nu insemana ca nu iau pas de precautie cand sunt in natura, asta nu inseamna ca arunc intelepciunea si sfaturile, dar nu las ca ceva care mi-a facut rau sa ma tina prizonierul fricii.

Daca poate esti in mijlocul suferintei acum, ce ai vrea pe viitor sa re-traiesti? Bucurie, pace, iubire, siguranta, prietenii noi, sanatate? Astea sunt cele mai importante si in final astea sunt roadele iubirii lui Dumnezeu fata de noi, a acceptarii propriei fiinte (creatura lui Dumnezeu) si a dragostei fata ce aproapele nostru. Iertarea e calea care duce la acestea, iertarea si perseverenta.

Va doresc o zi frumoasa de vara, o vacanta frumoasa pentru cei care sunt sau vor merge in vacante si har si pacea lui Dumnezeu sa continue sa se reverse peste noi ca si pana acum:)

 

Rugaciune

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Azi dimineata, in timpul petrecut cu Bunul Dumnezeu, am primit aceasta rugaciune atat pentru mine cat si pentru oricine o vrea:)

Mulțumesc, Dumnezeule, pentru abilitatea de a ierta și pentru darul iertării. Până de curând nu puteam ierta desi am încercat, nu știu de ce, dar presupun că a avut de-a face cu ura care a luat tot spațiul disponibil în inima mea, lăsând loc pentru nimic altceva, inclusiv iertare sau bucurie.

Iti mulțumesc Doamne, pentru că ai inmuiat ceara greu calcificată de ură față de ceilalți și de mine insumi și că ai făcut ca acea ceara să se prelingă afara din sufletul meu. Acum am loc pentru iertare, iubire și bucurie. Acum pot să iert atat pe alții cat și pe mine; va lua efort, va lua voința și alegerea mea, dar am puterea de a alege acum si sufletul meu nu mai e blocat în boala urii, nu mai munceste continuu și epuizat, fără progres inafara oboselii. Îți mulțumesc sincer pentru că mi-ai dat părinții pe care îi am, că locuiesc în această parte a lumii, pentru familia mea și trupul pe care îl am. Ce lucruri spectaculoase si extraordinare am învățat datorita acestor privilegii și ce privilegii am de a putea ajuta pe alți.

Iti mulțumesc, Doamne, pentru că m-ai trezit la potențialul meu, dezvăluindu-mi temerile mele, temerile care m-au capturat într-un costum întunecat si restrans de-a lungul acestor ani. Prin faptul că mi-am arătat aceste temeri și consecințele lor, ai deschis ochii sufletului meu la lucrurile pe care le-am pierdut și la oportunitățile care nu le voi avea dacă aleg să rămân în acest costum întunecat, numit frică.

Eu voi alege viața, dragostea și bucuria. Voi risca să mă deschid și să fiu vulnerabila pentru a câștiga aceste trei calități. Voi re-învăța și re-direcționa atat atenția mea cat si gândurile și comportamentul meu pentru a experimenta consecințele vieții, iubirii și bucuriei. În căutarea mea, voi eșua uneori, dar mă voi ridica și voi continua pentru că focalizarea mea sa schimbat. În cele din urmă, văd că am dreptul să experimentez viața, dragostea și bucuria, un drept pe care mi la-i dat tu cu mult timp în urmă, dar care a fost rapit de temerile altora doar pentru a fi recucerit recent.

Este un proces de re-învățare bazat pe adevărul aratat de tine: ceea ce au spus sau făcut alții impotriva mea cu intentia de a mă dobora este bazat pe propriile lor sentimente de nesiguranță și temeri nu pe caracterul constuit in mine de Tine, Doamne. Sunt pereții lor de restrangere, nu ai mei. Iti mulțumesc, Tată, pentru că mi-ai deschis atat ochii, cat și sufletul pentru a accepta acest lucru. Acceptarea este diferenta între succes și eșec. În trecut, am acceptat adevărurile false a altora și mi-a adus numai un deșert vast in suflet, acum voi accepta adevărul Tău de a alege viața, dragostea și bucuria. La urma urmei, aceasta este definiția echilibrului. Nu unul fără celălalt. Echilibru. Adevăr. De data aceasta aleg adevărul Tău și vom vedea unde se va sfârși.

Amin.

Deuteronomi 30: 15-20

Balance Prayer

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

This is a prayer for myself and anyone else who wants it:)

I thank you, God, for the ability to forgive and the gift of forgiveness. Until recently I couldn’t forgive no matter how I went about it, not sure why, but I presume it had to do with the hate taking all the space available in my heart leaving no room for anything else, including forgiveness or joy.

Thank you for breaking that hard calcified wax of hate towards others and myself and melting it away from my soal. Now I have room for forgiveness, love, and joy. Now I can forgive myself and others; sure it’s still an effort, sure it’s still my will and choice but I have the power to choose now versus being stuck within my sick soul with no way out except a continuous and exhaustingly constant squirming and no progress other than fatigue. I earnestly thank you now for giving me the parents I have, for bringing me to this part of the world, for my family, and for giving me the body I have. What tremendous spectacular things I’ve learned because of these privileges and what great privileges I have to help others.

Thank you for waking me up to my potential by revealing to me my fears, fears that captured me in a self-restraining smuggled dark suit all these years. By showing me these fears and their consequences, you opened up the eyes of my soul to the things I’ve missed and the opportunities not taken if choosing to remain in that snuggled dark suit called fear.

I will choose life, love, and joy. I will risk opening up and be vulnerable in order to gain these three qualities. I will re-learn and re-direct my focus, thoughts, and behaviors in order to experience the consequences of life, love, and joy. In my quest, I will fail sometimes but I will get up and continue because my focus has shifted. I finally see that I have the right to experience life, love, and joy, a right you gave me a long time ago but was taken away by other’s fears only to be recently recaptured.

It’s a re-learning process based on the truth that what others said or did in order to keep me down was based on their own insecurities and fears, not mine. Their walls, not mine. I thank you, Father God, for opening not only my eyes but my soul as well to accept this, for acceptance is the bridge between success and failure. In the past, I’ve accepted false versions of someone’s truths and it brought nothing but a vast desert in my soul, now I will accept your truth to choose life, love, and joy. After all, that’s the definition of balance. Not one without the other, not one over the other. Balance. Truth. This time your truth and let’s see what that brings along and where will it end.

Amen.

 

 

Pastor Gordon Calmeyer

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Today Pastor Gordon Calmeyer passed away after a life well lived. I love his wife’s words, Stella, on Facebook, and I’ll add them here:

“Choose to make today count.

Even if we find ourselves in unpleasant places or going through tough or hard times, or even if we feel like we could give up because of trying circumstances, let’s use the power of choice which we all have at our disposal, and choose to benefit from bad times and allow them to cause spiritual growth and development. Let us wait for the Lord, staying strong and allowing our hearts to be filled with courage so that we will finish the race strong! (Psalm 27: 13-14) Have a blessed weekend everyone!”

Beautiful.

Chet and I met both Stella and Gordon during our volunteering times at CFC (Christian Faith Center Church) and right away we were taken (like everyone else) with Stella’s sweet personality, and pastor Gordon’t charismatic personality, warmth, and vulnerability. Their short time at CFC as pastors were full of richness and they walked away loving and being loved.

Both Chet and I will miss him because he touched our lives with love and authenticity. I ache because he died, but I’m grateful that I had the privilege to know both him and his wife, I’m richer because of that. His good humor and love for life will be missed. It only hurts because we loved, we’ll never regret loving.

I’m sorry to hear about the suicides of both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, condolences to their family and loved ones, it’s hard when departure from this life happens in such a state of despair and sadness. I’m truly sorry for that. If anyone reading this blog is suffering from depression, please reach out to someone and ask for help. You’re welcome to reach out to me anytime you want.

Thank you, God, for all people from all walks of life. Being human is beautiful and precious.

God Bless.IMG_1318

 

Life is good

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Life is good.

Last weekend Chet and I had an argument. Gasp. What? You guys fight and argue too? Yep, we sure do:) We’re both red-blooded people with strong opinions and the need to make our points shine brightly. Through our 25 years of marriage, (wow those years went by fast with a touch of slow) we’ve learned how to fight (I’m sure the 70-year-old me is laughing hard at such a bold statement, thinking “you fool”).

It began, like everything new and glorious usually does, with the usual super passionate arguments over the most nonsensical of stuff, made up by lots of fun spelled s-e-x. Since our marriage had a meeting of two cultures with a healthy dose of language barriers (meaning we could not talk to each other), our nonsensical stuff multiplied exponentially;) Now, if the older me could’ve beamed back in time and had a talk with the younger me, I’m sure the younger me would’ve beaten her up first then maybe paid partial attention to what she had to say. Don’t sweat the small stuff- fantastic advice! Yes, he thinks you’re beautiful, no your butt is not bigger than usual, you’re boobs are perfect and what are we fighting about?

Next phase is called “the exhaustive faze”. This phase arrives, oddly enough, with the presence of babies, and lasts way too long. Through this phase, you fight mostly by mumbling and eye rolling since you’re too exhausted to come up with smart alec remarks, not after you’ve been sleep deprived for millions of seconds, you can’t seem to walk in straight lines some days, you have vomit and dried food tattooed all over your clothes and haven’t worn a sexy dress in decades, partly because you no longer fit in one or you don’t see the point in wearing anything that would end up with sex, mostly because you’re too exhaused for such rigurous workout. Now is not the time to ask: How do I look, honey? He still loves you with the extra this, that, and the other, what will turn him away is your whining or showiung his disrespect. Find a good girlfriend and let it all out remembering that afterwords is her turn. Here’s when you would love the old you to come and give you advise, but she’s too bruised from the earlier phase and missing in action.

Next phase is the “teenage trial phase”, a phase you spend most days on the accused bench while all your faults are thrown in your face with the passion of a volcano that just erupted and does not show signs of slowing down. Here you spend many days praying the trial will end soon and no permanent damage was done in the process. This is a phase where you could very well lose your marbles, as you’re facing your accuser (in the case of multiple accusers, God help you! we’re praying for you), and you get so fatigued from all the explanations you’ve come up with, that you don’t have time to argue with your spouse and he/she either becomes your best friend (in our case) or your worst enemy.

The phase we’re now in, title-wise it’s still up for grabs, due to disease and a near-death-experience, there’s hardly any issues that come up worth enough to argue over. Life comes into prospective and priorities are re-aligned into a much healthier pattern, also there’s the partial short-term-memory-loss which helps:))))) Or the low energy level. Chet and I spend lots of time enjoying each other now, we choose both our friends and battles wisely and let life be lived in the moment. However, now and again tentions arise and even though our arguments are rare, not dramatic like before, more philosophical while trying to emprove our communciation sklills, they do end up teaching us something (because we let). Like the argument we had last week. I’ve learned that Chet’s expressed  frustration everytime he drives and encounters bad roads, construction and bad drivers, is not directed at me even if his words come across as so.

“Why is this road closed? Why is that car cutting us off? Why is he crossing the road on a red light?” My defensive attitude comes from waaaay back, from a time of childhood dramas and traumas when I was made to believe that everything bad in this world was my fault even if I had nothing to do with it. Once I realized the connection, and mourned for a few minutes all the years of stress I could’ve eliminated out of my life if this lesson came to me sooner, things were explained accordingly. Chet can express all his frustrations freely, only slightly redirected:

“That guy’s a bad driver!” Here’s where I come in and cheer him on “You’re right, he really is a bad driver.”

I’m not sure about the next phase since we’re not there yet but it will be better, because with every phase we’ve accumulated data and enough information to graduate with a doctorate degree. I’m sure most of you have graduated with excellent degrees and have lots of experience:) Have a great day today and remember when you argue next, the degree is coming:)

Gid Bless:)

 

 

 

All inclusive

/ Carmen McKnight / 3 Comments

Why the “all inclusive” American political motto does not work for me (unless its a vacation package:).

I grew up in the Eastern European communism era back in the 80′ and early 90′, and have been discriminated against quite vehemently because of my religious beliefs and gender. Coming to America in 1993 was an eye-opening experience on multiple levels. While I loved the idea of being accepted in the new country and among the Americans, I soon learned about this country’s inner prejudices and was shocked. That taught me one thing- prejudice is not a country issue is a human issue. Conforming to American rules and culture it seemed a sensible expectation and I had no issue with it. Why would I? If I didn’t like it all I had to do is go back home, to my own country. It’s not easy to change and conform, it takes time and patience. To this day any reminder of my own culture is a welcoming sight and I am very glad I have friends and family living in America. Being a Christian I attended church right away. While the white church (the only church I attended) failed miserably to love the gay, prostitutes, homeless, black people (not all churches), or anyone else who was different than they were, the church still reached out and took part in many charitable acts of kindness, which impressed me. Sure it was far from perfect, but it was trying.

Moving to the Seattle area, where left thinking predominates and church attendance is at its lowest I’ve learned, and still am learning, many things. The opportunities here are far greater than back south where we used to live, the people are more open-minded… or are they? I find the same close-mindedness towards anyone that thinks differently than they are, especially politically, just like back in the south (Auburn area). The political agendas differ and an “all-inclusive” thinking, which at first sight seems wonderful, is wrapped in a false facade of acceptance. Violence can rise easily if you don’t agree with them, but mostly you’re going to get a passive-aggressive form of action and I find myself walking on eggshells around here because of the frail emotional status of spoiled people that have been babied by their parents far too much. The vibe is of a very narrow-minded individualistic liberal views, which completely contradict the enlightened stigma they give themselves. If you read this and you find yourself getting offended you must ask yourself why? I do the same when I get offended. Don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of nice people here, just don’t get political or religious and all is well.

Why “all-inclusive” move does not work for me? The school system, that’s why. I remember back in my school days being ridiculed and made fun of for being a Christian something oddly I got used to after a while and built an inner determination within, I remember the Jehovah witnesses’s kids always put in the back of the class and made to stand up for hours as a sign of shame, my brother Alin beaten by a teacher until blood poured out of his skin, the same brother locked in dark closets during his kindergarten time for hours at the time, teacher bursting into our apartment without knocking demanding this and that, to give you a couple examples. This was abuse accepted and enforced at the hands of a corrupt and hateful system and its happening here as well. Here, where people take pride in being enlightened and more moral than the nazi or the communists were, yet using similar bullying strategies. One of those strategies is sneaking perversive explicit sexual curriculum in the schools while keeping parents intentionally uninformed. This begins in kindergarten. I’m part of a book club here and I heard with my own ears the proud grandparents sharing with us about the sexual details the teachers talked to the kids in regard to reproductive organs (they put it more explicitly), sexual orientation, and other details. Tell me what is the difference in the brainwashing mechanism between talking faith in schools or this gross stuff? Why would a kindergartener whose main focus in those years is to play need to know about his and other’s sexual parts in such details that could damage them the same way a rapist would? As a parent I have the responsibility to teach my child, when I see fit, about any and all sexual education, the schools have the responsibility of teaching academics. From a medical point of view, this is a form of abuse towards the young minds.

Isn’t this a form of exclusivity thinking, Carmen? you would ask and I would say, this is a form or allowing the individual to choose. The all-inclusive nonsense is a very familiar communistic move, where individual thinking was a threat to the system. In all my 18 years of schooling in a communistic system, I have NEVER accounted the sexual filth the school system pushes nowadays in America (which is strategically placed in there and funded by certain organizations with a certain goal in mind, that research I leave it up to you.) If you think democracy and freedom of speech in this country today is not assaulted you’re gravely mistaken.

Black people should not have to fear for their lives. Only criminals of all colors and nationalities should.

Women should not fear to be abused and ignored. (The extreme feminism is going too far.)

Babies should not be killed. (Adoption facilities should be put in place and education made available.)

Education should be available for all who want to educate themselves.

The law of the land should be respected by anyone who enters this country.

Homeless should be taken care by us.

Mentally ill should be helped (mostly by exposing the Pharmaceutical industry for the lord drugs they are. )

I remember back when my kids began their schooling years and the subject of feelings was pushed more than academics. Well…feelings are an important part, not the most important, however. Why? they constantly change. One day I may feel a certain way only to change my mind in the next minute. Can I build a lasting…anything on such an unstable foundation? And for crying out loud feed our children the best of foods in the school lunch! We parents do care!

I woke up on the wrong side of the planet today and I looked around thinking: My God, how did I get here!

God Bless:)

Divorce

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Some days I feel just like a child who receives something amazing, does not fully understand it but in my excitement needs to run and share it with everyone. Today is one of those days:)

The only thing I remember is a brilliantly beautiful pair of eyes, a mix of blues and greens with touches of diamond sparkly splashes constantly moving in a slow rotating pattern, fully focused on my eyes. The sight was beyond beautiful. Slowly the eyes moved back revealing a stunning face on which feminine futures predominated, but just like the eyes, it was in a constant movement of transition from one look to another. I was looking at one person and a million simultaneously. It was absolutely stunning. The voice that came from another source, somewhere within myself, made me ponder and change my opinion of the being I saw.

“Its name is Divorce,” for she was neither female or male, yet both simultaneously and more than that, a spirit of unknown gender.

‘It changes constantly, never still, never the same.”

Then I woke up, feeling disappointed to learn that such a beautiful presence was in actuality such a destructive force. Divorce, for many, if not all, brings a fantasy realm of a better world than the one they have. Unhappiness starts when one stops looking at what they have and focuses elsewhere. You can divorce yourself from a human being, God, ideas, places. Divorce is the opposite of a constant spirit, the latter a characteristic found of God. What bothers me, is all the destructive and constantly moving ideas in our world  (they existed before our lifetime and will exist long after we die), that promote an inconsistent spirit and bring along the fantasy of a better life. It’s not as black and white this battle between evil and good (stop rolling your eyes, we see this in our movies, books, and real-life on a regular basis). The deception of the ages is factual; evil taking a deceitful form of good in order to destroy. You don’t believe me? Why then do we have murder, deceit, lust, racism, famine, abuse to name a few among us? What does the color of one’s skin have to do with their actual value as a human being? Why are defenseless babies killed? Why are women abused? Why so much hate? Because it looks mesmerizing in the beginning and by the time we realize what we’ve done we are smack in the middle of it all.

Like I said, in the beginning, I wanted to share this dream with you. I’m sure some of you will appreciate the knowledge. It’s a subject that has put me in a meditative state for a few days now. I pray for myself that I will have the wisdom to see beyond deceit, that means I need to learn the truth, a journey I began a while back.

Enjoy the wonderful weather and God Bless:)