Just like a relationship, these supernatural personal experiences can be a slice of heaven or a slap of hell. It comes down to the knowledge of our identity linked directly to God’s heart. Just because we may know something does not mean we believe it.

As a child I never troubled myself with deep philosophical questions, not until pain, hate and fear were introduced in my heart. Than I began a struggle for survival, something I fear you’ve experienced as well. God began showing me in visions and dreams some generational dark spirits present and involved in active torture of few family members. Human beings that feel bent/burdened by certain regrets/mistakes/sins may literally have dark spirits piggy backing on their shoulders and on the back of their heads, bending the person into such a depressive state the person ends up seeing only the ground before its feet and no longer looks up to the sky. These dark spirits look like hunchbacks on a human’s upper back/shoulder/ neck area and they try to make one forget that above their feet there is a blue sky that holds hope. Unfortunately, at the time, this experience only frightened me further and it took years to understand what I saw and what it meant. I stopped having visions for a while but kept dreaming. Then I began sensing particular information/knowledge about certain people, things I had no way of knowing. This kept me very safe during the hormonal revolution of teenage hood for which I will forever be grateful. (Car tires driving over my toes with no consequences, near miss car accidents, male harassment in the form of chasing, following, verbal, insulting, threatening and the few gypsy harassments 🙂

About six months before meeting my husband Chet, I suddenly began seeing images, very detailed images of a city/land/country I’ve never seen before. I began sharing those details with few of my close friends and family members by describing to them in great details things I’ve never seen in my life. They came like flashed images, in colors. For example; if I looked at a Romanian bus I would get flashes of another bus, very advanced from a technological point of view, very clean and colorful with great decorative details. If I looked at a building, store, train, house etc I would get the same flashes of details of another set as if from another time, or place and everything was so much better. I remember being in a Romanian train with my brother Alin and few of my friends and describing in details of this other train that kept flashing before my eyes as clear as everything around me. In response everyone began making fun of me calling me by my nickname “The dreamer”. But I persisted with my stories, stubbornly trying to prove to them that I wasn’t insane, I really saw details of cars, cities, stores etc of a land too wonderful to believe real. After I married Chet and left Romania and came to America I saw those details in real life. They were and still are all around me.

Once in America due to my inability to speak the english language, I began hiding all future experiences  away in my heart for many years, until one day God tolled me I needed to start speaking them out loud. Now I can’t seem to stop talking:)

After few months in America, I began missing my family terribly. Unable to speak English and communicate even with my own husband and having a hard time with the rainy season of the Pacific Northwest climate, I began shrinking back inside myself. I found out later there was a word for such a thing called “depression”. One day, in an effort to pull me out of it Chet took me to Seattle Public’s market. The familiarity of the farmer’s market had the opposite effect increasing my longing for home and the depression I felt. Sandwiched in the middle of the market’s crowds we moved with great effort among the mass of people when suddenly a petite woman, maybe of 5′ with a boyish haircut (I had one of those haircuts for many years back home), brown hair, brown eyes, pants and a light coat (a little tom-boyish looking just like I’ve been my entire life), looked me in the eyes and spoke;” You have the face of an angel.” It our dumfound state I let her slip pass me, and even though a second later I quickly turned around hoping to talk to her, she simply vanished! A second! That’s all it took to turn around. We than began pushing against the crowds searching, desperate to thank her but found no sign of her. She simply vanished. I began crying because I knew what just happened. An angel, God sent me an angel to sooth and encourage me, but mostly to remind me that I wasn’t alone. Those seven words gave me such strength and such hope to go on, to keep on fighting. Chet, who the entire time was by my site, was just as speechless by the whole encounter. I will never forget her:) I’m crying even now as I’m writing down these lines, tears of joy, not of sadness, thankful to God that he cares so much for us all. (More to come)

La fel ca și in viata de căsătorie, aceste experiențe personale supranaturale pot fi o felie de rai sau o palmă de iad. Totul se rezumă la cunoașterea identității noastre direct legată de inima lui Dumnezeu. Doar pentru că putem ști ceva nu înseamnă neaparat ca-ci credem.

Ca un copil nu m-am tulburat cu întrebări filozofice profunde, cel putin nu o perioda, dar cind durerea, ura si frica au fost introduse in viata mea intrebari pe baza pholozofica au inceput sa rasara in inima mea. Dumnezeu a început să-mi arate în viziuni și vise unele spirite întunecate legate de liniile de generație a unei familii prezente și implicate în tortură activă a celor dragi. Ființele umane care se simt îndoite / împovărate de anumite regrete/ greșeli / păcate pot avea literalmente spirite întunecate catarate pe umeri și spatele capetele lor, îndoind persoana intr-o astfel de stare depresivă ca omul respective incepe sa se concentreze numai ce vede in jurul piciorelor si uita ca exista cer albastru deasupra. Asta-i facut intentionat. Aceste duhuri negative arata ca o cocoasa pe spatele/ umerii/zona gâtului unui om. Aceasta viziune ma speriat la momentul respectiv si a luat ani pentru a înțelege ceea ce am văzut și ce a însemnat. Ca rezultat, am avut numai visuri ani buni de zile, si dupa ce m-am casatorit si am venit in America am început să simt/inteleg anumite informații cu privire la anumite persoane, lucruri care nu aveam cum sa le stiu fara a interba pe careva. 

Aproximativ cu șase luni înainte de a întâlni pe soțul meu Chet, dintr-o dată am început să văd imagini foarte detaliate ale unui oraș / țară foarte diferite de Romania. Am impartasit asta cu familia si citiva prieteni aproptiati dar nimeni nu ma crezut. Îmi amintesc ca eram într-un tren românesc cu fratele meu Alin și câțiva dintre prietenii nostrii și dintr-o data am inceput sa ma imagini de un alt tren, cu o technologie foarte ridicata, culori diferite, si design/ decoraj diferit si am fost luata peste picior, Carmen “visatoarea” imi ara una din porecle. Am insistat cu poveștile mele, mai ales lui mama, încercând cu încăpățânare să dovedesc la cei dragi că nu eram nebuna, ca vedeam într-adevăr detalii altui oras. Dupa ce m-am căsătorit și am plecat cu Chet din România spre America am văzut acele detalii în viața reală si le vad si pina in ziua de azi. 

Odata ajunsa în America, nestiind limba engleza, am ascuns toate experinetele care le aveam în inima mea o perioada lunga (mulți ani), până într-o zi, Dumnezeu mi-a spus ca trebuie sa încep să vorbeasc la toti despre cele intimplate in viata mea. 

După citeva luni în America, dorul dupa familie, imposibilitatea de a comunica chiar și cu propriul meu soț și timpul ploios din Seattle au început sa-mi inegreasca zilele. Am intrat in depresie. Într-o zi, într-un efort de a mă scoate din amaraciune Chet ma dus la piata din Seattle. In loc sa ajute ma facut dorul de tara mai puternic si depresia mai mare. Imbrinchiti in multime, deabea ne miscam când dintr-o dată o femeie mica de statura, bruneta, cu parul tuns foarte scurt (baieteste am avut si eu parul tuns ani de zile in Romania), ochi căprui, pantaloni și jeaca subtire ma privit în ochi și a vorbit; “ai fata unui înger.” Am ramas amindoi șocati si m-am întors imediat în jurul să-i mulțumesc, dar nu am gasit-o. M-am împins printre mulțime câutind-o cu ochii atit eu cit si Chet dar pus si simplu a disparut. Am început să plâng pentru ca am inteles ce sa intimplat. Un inger de la D-zeu a fost trimis (a) sa ma incurajeze, si acele citeva cuvinte  m-au umplut de speranta si mi-au adus aminte ca nu sint singura. (Vom continua).