Month: April 2021

bătălia

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Carmen, lașa! Asta ești, știi? Ai prea puține realizări în viață. Nu ai făcut nimic uimitor. Ești un eșec. Corp frânt, minte fragilă, spirit slab.

A pretinde că nu avem de-a face cu astfel de atacuri mentale sau emoționale de-a lungul vieții este iritant de înșelător.

Cu astfel de emoții m-am trezit azi. Asta a fost lupta dimineții mele. Astfel de înșelăciune emoțională am avut de confruntat azi dar spre deosebire de trecut am fost conștientă de rădăcinile posibile astfel de gânduri. Nu toate emoțiile negative își au sursa în atac spiritual. A da vina pe duhurile rele ori de câte ori ceva negativ atacă pacea vieții noastre înseamnă a nega responsabilitățile care le avem în deciziile noastre de zi cu zi. Poate ai oboseală cronică în corp sau suflet, poate ai stres acumulat sau treci printrun sezon plin de circumstanțe frustrante, poate ai o dietă proastă cu un consum prea mare de zahăr sau ai de aface cu abuzul altor oameni, poate problemele politice și socio-economice sunt inbalanțate. Cine știe? Poate nu ai iertat în ultimul timp. Deficiențe vitaminale? Dorul unui prieten sau părinte care a murit?

Astăzi am avut o astfel de zi eu.

Cum mă lupt eu să înving astfel de momente? I-au totul pas cu pas și mă concentrez asupra lucrurilor bune din viața mea – de multe ori uit să văd cât de binecuvântată îmi este viața, uit să mă concentrez la momentele care-mi aduce pace și mă las trasă emoțional de problemele politice care-mi fură bucuria- mă întreb ce am am mâncat în ziua precedentă și dacă-i posibil să-mi încurce armonia intestinală. Sunt atentă la ceea ce mă tulbură în interior. Trebuie să iert? Am nevoie de încurajări? Am nevoie de o îmbrățișare? Trebuie să mă duc la o plimbare și să mă rog? Trebuie să clarific o situație între mine și altcineva? Imi este dor de mama sau bunica care au murit recent? Trebuie să scriu? Să citesc ceva? Să meditez? Imi trebuie odihnă? Trebuie să mă rog? Care este responsabilitatea mea în a schimba ură de sine într-o viziune realistă, dar pozitivă asupra mea. Am nevoie de ajutor? Trebuie să vorbesc cu un prieten?

Cum treci tu peste aceste momente? Mi-ar place să știu.

Astăzi, cel care m-a ajutat a fost Chet, în alte zile e tușa Rodica sau frații și surorile mele. E foarte plăcut să-l ascult pe Chet și modul în care mă vede el. În ochii lui sunt curajoasă, muncitoare, glumeață, dar cel mai important el mă vede ca inima familiei noastre. Ce minunați părem când ne vedem valoarea prin ochii celor care ne iubesc 🙂 Ce minunați suntem dacă ne vedem prin prisma lui Dumnezeu!

Poate că petrecem prea mult timp uitându-ne la noi înșine prin punctele noastre de vedere autocritice și nu suficient timp văzându-ne prin prisma/ochii celor care ne iubesc. Sper că astăzi vei avea șansa să-ți vezi valoarea și prețul prin ochii celor care te iubesc. Va fi mai bine așa 🙂

Vă doresc o zi binecuvântată la toți!

The Battle

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Photo by Maria Pop from Pexels

Carmen, the coward! That’s what you are, you know. You’ve accomplished little in life. You’ve done nothing amazing. You’ve failed. Broken body, frail mind, weak spirit.

To pretend that we don’t deal with such mental or emotional attacks at any given time is irritatingly deceptive.

This was my morning today. This is what I woke up to today. This is what I was fighting today. This is the deception I was aware of today. This is what I believed in the past – at times I would like to think that was as early as yesterday. This is what fatigue in the body or mind, accumulated stress, a season of frustrating circumstances, a bad diet, too much sugar intake, a spiritual battle- beyond the visible world there is an invisible one most of us feel it-, other people’s abuse, political and socioeconomic issues bring us some days. Today was such a day for me.

This is how I handle it: I take it one step at the time, one second at the time, and I focus on the good things in my life- I have many positively wonderful things going on in my life worthy to focus on such as family, the birds singing outside and the fact that not only I can hear them but I can see them as well etc. I keep on moving, even if that means going for a walk. I also go down memory lane and see what I ate the previous day that could mess my gut harmony, pay attention to what exactly unsettles me inside. Do I need to forgive? Do I need encouragement? Do I need a hug? Do I need to focus on certain things that bring more meaning to my life? Do I need to write? Read? Meditate? Rest? Pray? What is my responsibility in shifting the negative self-hate in a realistic yet positive view of myself. Do I need help? Do I need to talk to a friend?

How do you handle such moments? What do you do to get through?

Today, the one that brought me up was Chet, other days I have Elizabeth. Listening to the way he sees me was wonderful. In his eyes I’m brave, hard working, fun to be with, get things done, the heartbeat of the family. How wonderful we seem to be through the eyes of those who love us:) How wonderful we must be through the eyes of God.

Maybe we spend too much time looking at ourselves through our self-critical points of view and not enough time seeing ourselves through the eyes of those who love us. I hope today you get a chance to see your value and worth through the eyes of those who love you. You’ll be better off that way:)

God Bless:)

Theft in Magnolia

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment
April 6th 2021, 5:30pm news coverage by Kiro 7, on the theft of our bikes. 

On Sunday morning between the hours of 3-4 am, March 28th 2021, we got burglarized. 

They stole three Rad bikes (Chet’s, Merrill’s and Alex’s) and two regular one-speed with custom built details, both Jordan’s along with helmets, battery charger, gloves, glasses, bags, and other accessories, leaving behind a cigarette bud with their DNA on it. Getting a hold of the Seattle police it’s been a headache and I realized quickly we are left on our own, so I guess I’ll start a gun collection. 

The sleaze-balls are not even trying to hide their theft and put Merrill’s white Rad mini bike on Craigslist the very same day they stole it. Unfortunately we only saw the add six days later. I’m sure Chet and Alex’s Rad bikes have been sold by now. I’ll add pictures of the bikes at the end of the post. 

Chet did so well in the interview:) His experience as a cameraman, light and sound specialist and now an editor gives him an advantage in this field. Well done!

On a different note, the stress of the past two months (my mom died, my grandma died, theft, and other personal matters) has brought on a flare-up (joint pain is back, rashes are back, swollen eye lids are back, severe nausea is back, brain fog is back, muscle pain is back, headaches are back, the feel of an inflamed brain is back, food loosing it’s flavor, fatigue more than usual, the threat of seizures, heat intolerance is back, restless nights are back, core shaking is back, left kidney pain, I’m sure I’ve missed one or more symptoms). HOWEVER, and I mean that in the most hopeful way, I know so much more today than I did in the past: what works, what doesn’t, what to do, what not to do that I have an upper hand at handling the situation:) Transfer Factors are a God sent! So is the sun and physical activity in the form of gardening and lawn maintenance. Vitamineral green also is a God sent. The powdery stuff is full of minerals and vitamins the body needs plus detoxification stuff such as spirulina and chlorella. I could do a better job in resting. 

I know there’s some of you our there who may deal with flare-ups and I want to encourage you to keep up the work towards healing, everything is temporary, even the pain. 

My prayer today: Thank you body for the super natural power to heal yourself over and over and over and over again. You’re doing a fantastic job and have been doing a fantastic job for many years now! Thank you God for putting in our bodies the ability to heal if given proper attention (such as the belief in your ability to heal, sun, joy, peace, clean water, veggies and lots of them, hugs, love, humor, and the overwhelming belief that you are a special living being, faith) and thank you for giving us the wisdom to know how to go about doing it. 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD” ~ Jeremiah 30:17

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” ~ 3 John 1:2

I close this post with the knowledge that life moves on and it’s up to us how we respond to the tragedies and traumas that come along for the duration of our lives, something I remind myself daily. May God bless all of you today and keep you and your belongings safe, at peace, healthy and sane:) 

God Bless:)

Bunica a plecat la Domnul/ Grandma died

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment
Azi, bunica mea a plecat la Domnul unde o va intalni pe mama mea. Mama si fica se vor bucura impreuna in ceruri unde nu mai este suferinta si durere si ne vor astepta pe restul. Acolo bunica il va intalni si pe bunicu, si sora ei Ticuta, si ceilalati iubiti. In fotografiile de sus sunt ele doua la tinerete si la batrinete. Ma rog ca alinarea care numai Bunul Dumenzeu o poate da sa fie in sufletele copiilor ei, matusile si unchii nostrii (Fanica, Rodica, Dani, Cristi si Simona), precum surorile si nepotii ei, prietenele si toti cei ce au iubit-o.

Ne vom intalni din nou in ceruri draga bunica si draga mamica, ati fost si pururi ve-ti ramane doua femei extraordinare in inimile noastre!

Today my grandmother died. She’ll meet her daughter in the heavens, which happens to be my mother who passed away two months ago. Their suffering has ended. They eternal joy has begun. We’ll meet you both some day and together we’ll rejoice again. The pictures above show the both of them where they were young and older.

Good-by for now, a temporary distance, a temporary pain in this existence. Thank you God for giving us such wonderful ladies we’ll cherish their memories forever. Amen.