I found myself kneeling today once again before God, both asking and thanking him for his help over my mom who, I found out few hours ago, has been in the hospital these past four days. One kidney totally non-functional and the other one on life support, her creatinine very elevated as well. She’ll be in there for few more days, on treatment and supervision. My mom has lives on the “verge on impossibility” as my sister Delia puts it these past 18 years regarding her health. Major health issues with doctors surprised she’s still breathing. I’ve also seen a woman of faith during these times, strong and not ready to give up but willing to let God have the final say in her life. She’s avoided the hospital like a plaque and for good reasons, but it seems that run has come to a temporary stop. But I’ve been allowed to see something today, a weak and battered body from the inside with all the tissues, nerves, cells and bones, and a liquid light holding everything together like glue. It’s the relationship between God and my mom, my mom and God. When we’re too weak to function his light of great life holds us together:)))))))))) John 1:4

M-am gasit in postura de a ma ingenuchia din nou inaintea Bunului D-zeu, de data asta in sprijinul si sustinerea mamei mele care, am aflat azi, e internata in spital de patru zile. Un rinichi a dat faliment si celalalt e beteag rau. Creatinina e mare (5), normal ar trebui sa fie la 1. Functiile renale sunt atacate de diabet si ne rugam sa nu ajunga la dializa. Ea e in tratement acuma (ceva perfuzii), dar are speranta ca Bunul D-zeu le vede pe toate si le are in control. Mama mea a fost de cind o stiu eu cu cutitul la git din punct de vedere al sanatatii, nasteri grele sau complicatii, tensiune mare etc, si cum zice sora mea Delia “traieste pe linia imposibilitatii” de vreo 18 ani. Dar eu vad altceva, in imagina mintii mele, precum cred ca Duhul Sfint a avut bunatatea sa-mi arate, am vazut un corp slabit si trecut prin multe greutati, tesuturi de muschi, nervi, singe etc cu multe probleme din punct de vedere pamintesc, dar era si altceva in corp, o lumina lichida in fiecare tesut, celula, nerv etc care le tinea pe toate in functiune si in viata. Credinta mamei mele in Bunul D-zeu si viata suflata de Bunul Dumnezeu in tesutul fiintei ele au o legatura as de puternica, o relatie pe vecie. Si asta ma face sa zimbesc si sa stiu ca totul va fii bine orice ar fi. Dumnezeu este lumina si viata, si-i multumesc asa de mult de dragostea lui fata de noi toti!

Ioan 1:4

Woke-up to the sound of helicopters flying above our house. This would make it the fifth or sixth morning of helicopter music. It’s directly linked to the monster fire happening in Central Washington State, I believe reaching over 256,567 acres. From our house we can see the Cascades and Mount Rainier, but on Sunday it was nothing but haze from the smoke coming our way. The smell followed, not strong, but we were aware of it. Today it looks better, still a little hazy here and there, but much better. Rain is coming! Thank you God for the firefighters that came to help, and I pray comfort and health for those who suffered the wrath of the wild fires.

First picture is from the front of the house, second from the back, you can see in the second one a small plane riding above the Cascades.

On a personal note, I’ve had another IV treatment yesterday and as expected today I’m hugging horizontal surfaces again and life goes on:) Last Thursday my body decided to break my daily routine in a song of pain and tears for a good half a day, accompanied by extreme front and back lower abdomen pain and spotting, blood that is. Well…as of yesterday the doctor is aware and if this shenanigan does not stop I’m to see him tomorrow for further testing. So far, the spotting has declined its presence but the aches refuse to vacate the premises. One theory is buzzing around, ovary cyst may have burst, but so far it’s a theory and we all know what that means unless proven there’s not much to stand on. Wishing you a great day and I pray great health over all of you, because it sucks to be in this much pain for this long. Ta, ta for now:)

Azi m-am trezit din nou la muzica de elicopter deasupra casei. De cinci sau sase zile trec dimineata pe deasupra noastra si merg spre incendiul care-i extraordinar de mare. Din curte de la noi, se vad muntii si focul este de partea cealalta dar Duminica fumul a acoperit muntii si au venit spre noi. Ieri si azi e mai bine, si de Simbata vine ploaia.

Pe o nota personala, ieri am avut alt tratament intravenos, dar de Joi am probleme cu dureri mari in jurul burtii si singe in urina. Sa oprit ieri, si daca revine vor sa-mi faca teste noi. In rest multumesc lui Bunul Dumnezeu prentru o zi noua pe pamint alaturi de cei iubiti:) Va doresc o zi plina de sanatate la toti!

No, this is not one of those “empty your alcohol glass as fast as you can” dare. It’s more of a “pull you pants down so I can stick this needle in your butt” dare. So how do I respond to such a powerful yet frightening order? I take my pants off and point my butt up in the air just so to relax the gluts muscles (bottom, derriere, ass, behind, butt, you get the idea) so the medication can release in the body well. I know some of you may find this type of dare a little extreme, but when one has spirochetes (borrelia burgdorferi) or cork screw like bacterium in one’s body and brain doing their best to shorten ones life, you pucker up and simply smile as the needle invades your being distributing what you hope to be the death announcement to the whole colony. There will be no funeral arrangements for any of them, no obituaries and no condolences delivered on any small or grand plan. There will be death only! And I’m okay with that, no really, I’m okay with it:)

Well, today’s IV treatment was as routine as the previous ones with one small surprise at the end, when the shot was administered in my behind instead of my deltoid (shoulder). I’m glad of that, since the shoulder ends up hurting me afterwards for a good five days. So far, my derriere has not complained once:)

I’m getting better:) As most of you already know Chet and I celebrated our 22 year anniversary on Saturday, and besides few errands we ended up in an Auburn festival for a half hour afterwords. THAT IS A BIG DEAL PEOPLE! I wasn’t able to take multiple stimulus before, only one at the time in a very mild format. Let me translate that to you; Good-by to fun, good-by to let’s hang out or let’s go out, good-by to crowds, stores, public places of any kind where people, lights and noises were involved. So yeh, this was a big deal, even if I lasted only a half hour, that’s a half hour longer than zero minutes:) Before this riding in the car was too much because of traffic, other cars, engine noise, blind spots, colors etc. So yeh!!!! Could no longer multi-task etc. Than I found out Chet wasn’t feeling well so we ended up back home taking it easy. Than Sunday, my daughter and I went to Target and I was inside for a whole hour!!! Let me translate that for you. It’s similar to saying we went to Paris for a week. So yep, I’m getting better:) Before this I never ventured in any public places without Chet by my side holing my hand the whole time, or my friend Elizabeth coming to me to every single doctor appointment. To be honest, there would never be a doctor appointment without my friend getting me there:)

Conclusion; getting better:)))))) Further developments on the story coming up next week:) Channel Carmen out:)

In America este o zicala “Fundul sus”, inseamna a goli paharul de alcol repede. Eu azi am fost cu fundul in sus, dar nu pentru a goli alcol dar pentru a primi injectie. Si desi nu mi-a placut pozitia, mi-a placut lichidul care intra in mine, medicamentul care mi-l imaginam cum anihileaza toate bacteriile si parazitii din corp. Binenteles, ca nu am nici un plan sa le fac inmormintare sau sa-i jelesc.

Ei bine, tratamentul de astăzi intravenos a fost la fel de rutină ca și cele anterioare, cu o mică surpriză la sfârșit, când mi sa administrat injectia in fund in loc de umar. Si-i bine ca si asa ma durea umarul vreo cinci zile dupa fiecare injectie, acuma sa nu ma doara …hmm… deocamdata nu da semn de durere si asta-i bine.

Dupa cum majoritatea dintre voi știți deja am sarbatorit 22 ani de casatorie Sâmbătă, și am fost la un festival local timp de o jumătate de oră. Asta este mare lucru!!!! Inainte nu puteam avea stimuli multiplii, doar unul si într-un format foarte ușoar. Permiteți-mi să traduc asta sa intelegeti; la revedere distractie, la revedere magazine, locuri publice, vizite cu prietenii multi unde erau zgomote si multa activitate.
Concluzie; ma fac bine, e incep procesul dar inaintez!!!!!

My right Deltoid (shoulder muscle) has been complaining since yesterday, it began right after the shot. Go figure. Today like a child with a sore shoulder I feel like crying but I heard abstinence is a good thing, so I don’t, cry that is:) But when I think that next week we’ll be doing this all over again I want to scream: Please don’t take me back there! They always poke me with sharp things! :)))))))))) And this is not aimed at my friend Elizabeth who takes me to all my appointments 🙂 It’s just a way of expressing the inner child within that does not like poky things:)

But in all seriousness, and I’ll try to keep a straight face as I write this post but I don’t think it will work; however in all seriousness I’m old enough to know those pokes are meant to heal me. Every visit gets better, the process easier and the results stronger. I used to be flat on my face while hugging any horizontal surfaces four days straight after an IV treatment. Old symptoms would creep up, pain and suffering trying hard to keep me company. The last treatment left my brain shattered somehow, and I experienced dyslexia (or I think that’s what it was, based on people’s descriptions), when  you read a word and could swear in front of the grand jury that you saw that one word only to take a second look and find out it’s a completely different word all together and you were not even close! Now that’s what some people call magic, other call it crazy. I call it a herx reaction. But when I walk around barely breathing because my lungs decide that functioning right is not something they want to do for the day, and I have that metal/bitter taste in my mouth, nausea and I want to shave my head so I won’t have to put up with my hair any longer the only remedy I found to help me is singing, singing about how healthy I really am:) It really does work, but I have to keep at it for a while. Yesterday was my fourth visit and I can happily exclaim, it’s not so bad! I don’t feel as rotten after words. Also seeing other patients there talking about being in remission from cancer and brain tumor gives me such hope! It’s such a different road being among the patients, when only one year and seven months ago I was part of the staff that helped others get better. I dream going back to work almost daily, for I was at my happiest helping others. Well, in a nut shell that’s the update for today. Stay tune for future developments:)))))))

P.S I’ve added a PK PROTOCOL article under resources, it’s part of the IV treatment I get.

 Yep, I totally have that look: Here again?

Deltoidul meu drept (mușchiul de umăr) protesteaza de ieri, a început imediat după injectie. Astăzi ca un copil cu un umărul inflamat simt nevoia sa plange, dar am auzit ca abstinenta este un lucru bun, așa că nu plâng 🙂 Dar când mă gândesc că săptămâna viitoare vom face acest lucru din nou vreau să țip: Nu ma mai duce înapoi acolo! Ei tot timpul ma inteapa cu lucruri ascuțite! :))))))))))

Dar cu toată seriozitatea, și voi încerca să păstreze o față dreaptă în timp ce scriu acest post, dar eu nu cred că voi reusi; sunt destul de mare să inteleg ca aceste înțepături sunt menite să mă vindece. Fiecare vizită devine mai buna, procesul mai ușor și rezultatele mai puternică. De obicei dupa fiecare tratament intravenos ajungeam plata pe fata in timp ce imbratisam orice suprafata orizontala patru zile imediat după tratament. Simptome vechi reveneau, durere și suferința încearcind din greu să-mi țină companie. Ultimul tratament mi-a lăsat creierul meu distrus într-un fel, și am experimentat dislexie (sau cred că asta a fost, pe baza descrierilor oamenilor), atunci când citesti un cuvânt și esti gata sa juri în fața judecatorului suprem cu toate confidenta ca nu ai greasit defel numai sa realizezi ind te uiti din nou ca de fapt este un cuvânt complet diferit! Si te scarpini pe cap buimac de ce ti sa intimplat, parca ai fi beat. Pe urma plaminii au facut sedinta si sau hotarit as din senin ca nu vor sa functioneze cum trebuie si debea primesc aer in mine, sau gustul ala metalic / amar si greață… in aceste momente singurul remediu care l-am gasit sa ma ajute e sa cânt, cânt despre sănătatea care mi-o da Dumneseu si ma ajuta:)

Ieri a fost a patra vizita și pot exclama fericita, nu mi-e așa de rău! De asemenea, văzând alți pacienți acolo vorbind despre a fi in remisie de cancer și tumori cerebrale imi da speranță! Este astfel un drum diferit fiind in randul pacientilor, atunci când numai un an și șapte luni în urmă am fost parte din personalul care a ajutat pe alții sa se faca bine. Visez sa ma întorc la locul de muncă aproape zilnic, pentru că au fost  unele dinter cele mai fericite momente in viata, cind vezi ca ajuti pe altul. Ei bine, asta este actualizarea pentru ziua de azi. :)))

Chapter 2 is available now on the Damean Family.

Capitolul 2 valabil la pagina Damean Family.

Yesterday was a big day for the Damean family. My brother Tibi and his beautiful bride Nicole got married back in Romania!!!! As I can only imagine the fun was on the highest of scales. The whole family gathered, yet again, from all corners of the European continent celebrating for a whole week each other’s presence, visiting cracking jokes and eating. Even as I write this blog, my family is gathering again, looking for another day of fun, food and laughter:)

On the other side of the world, yesterday I was hooked up to my second IV treatment, sucking up good medicine so I can heal up and be among them in the near future. As expected I’m experiencing intense fatigue, so I’ll rest, giving my body opportunity to heal up. Hopefully, as planned next year we’ll be among the rest of my family permanently, if the plans go accordingly and God approves. I wish the rest of you a great day.

Their fun! Ziua lor!

My day. I prefer their day. Ziua mea, prefer ziua lor:)

August 4, a fost si va ramine o zi speciala in mijlocul familiei Damean- nunta fratelui meu Tibi si frumoasei lui sotii Nico:) Imi imaginez cantitatea enorma de bancuri si mincare experimentata in cadru familie, acuma adunata de pe toate colturile Europene. In momentul de fata scriind acest post, ei sint iara-si adunati la glume si mincare, in ciuda oboselii:) Astia sintem noi si iubesc treaba asta enorm. Sintem multi, sintem galagiosi dar sintem uniti… in marea parte:)))))

In capatul celalalt al lumii, tot pe August 4, eram la IV (injectie intravenoasa), ca nici eu nu ma dau batuta. Daca ei se distreaza trebuie si eu sa particip:))))) Dar sanatatea se imbunatateste si la anu vom fi si noi in mijlocul lor permanent, daca planurile merg bine si Bunul Dumnezeu aproba.

Va doresc o zi buna la restul ca a mea familie precis se distreaza:))))

The IV treatment has left me very fatigue and somewhat odd feeling. I’ll have to ask the doctor if that’s normal. Right side armpit (axillary lymph nodes) look swollen. Despite this extreme fatigue, at night I seemed agitated and having a hard time sleeping. Once I fell asleep, past nightmares visited me, however this time I seemed to be in control of the way I responded to them. Instead of allowing the bad men to constantly chase me to an emotional exhaustive state I began formulating strategic plans how to get them before they got me. I felt a sense of control over the situation. Ha, that’s more like it. I must have learned something that cut my “Here we go around the mountain one more time” habit short. If it’s on a subconscious level it must be extremely good news.

On a different note, after listening to Joyce Meyer’s sermon on “Do not offend yourself” today a light bulb went on inside my head, only to realize I’ve spent YEARS being offended at people or things they did, hindering both my belief in God and belief in people. I think I’m still offended at someone, not sure who, but it shouldn’t take me too much time to figure that one out. I’m sure Chet tried his best to communicate my need of forgiving people and their offenses over the past 20 years of marriage but for some reason he just didn’t put it the way Joyce puts it, so I’ve never really paid attention. I guess there’s a whole lot of healing going on now, both physically as well as emotionally. Have a great day and stay happy and not offended, if possible:)

Tratamentul intravenos ma lăsat foarte obosita și cu o senzație oarecum ciudata. Va trebui să întreb medicul dacă e normal. Subsuoară partea dreaptă (ganglionii limfatici axilari) arata umflati. În ciuda oboselii extreme, pe timp de noapte sint agitata și mi-e greau sa adorm. Odata ce am adormit, coșmaruri care le aveam in trecut mi-au invadat subconstientul,  însă de data asta părea să fiu în control in modul cum am răspuns la ele. În loc de a permite oamenilor răi să mă fugareasca toata noaptea pina ajungeam într-o stare emoțională exhaustivă am început o elaborarea de planuri strategice cum de ai acapara pe ei. Cred că am învățat ceva in viata si m-am schimbat in asa fel ca la nivel de subconstient imi dau seama ca nu mai trebuie sa fug ci sa infrunt.

Pe o alta notă, după ce a ascultat predica a lui Joyce Meyer “Nu te jignesc” astăzi un bec sa aprins în capul meu, realizind ca am risipit ani de zile agitata din cauza unor igniri, împiedicând atât drumul meu de credința catre Dumnezeu dar si  relatiile mele intre oameni. Cred că încă ma simt jignit de cineva, nu sunt sigura cine, dar nu ar trebui să-mi ia prea mult timp de gindire să aflu:) Sunt convinsa că Chet a încercat din răsputeri să comunice importanta de a ierta oamenii care m-au jignit dar pentru un motiv oarecare el doar nu a pus subiectul cum l-a pus Joyce, si nu cred ca am dat mare atenție. Vad ca e un proces intens de vindecare atit pe plan fizic cit si pe plan emotional. Va doresc o zi buna.

Chapter One of the book is available now in both English version as well as Romanian version under the Damean Family page. The commentary Part one and Two are available at the end of the chapter. Enjoy:)

Capitolul 1 este acum valabil sub pagina Damean Family. Comentariu (Partea 1 si 2) este valabil la inceputul capitolului in Limba Romana. O zi buna:)

Well… what can I say. IV treatment it’s not as glamorous as it looks:) Yesterday I had a follow up, found out I got mold and new co-infections so we’re changing the treatment yet again, and juicing myself trough one long flexible straw seems unavoidable. Here, in the picture I’m embracing one treatment and due to time I had to skip the other two, but got a shot instead, just in case I didn’t have enough poking for the day:) I’m on an anti-mold treatment now, we’re not even dealing with all other issues, it’s knocking one thing at the time strategy. I had Elizabeth and her sweet kids to entertain me, as they passed by the window making faces and dancing, putting a smile of all of our faces. (I wasn’t the only one drinking through a straw). The insurance does not cover this treatment since it’s considered exploratory (in other words, works better than the usual phrase I’ve heard:You’re just one of those unfortunate cases). True even this doctor tolled me the IV combination is very unique and I’m a special case. I’m really tired of how special I seem to be in the doctor’s eyes. The IV left me absolutely and completely wiped of all energy and today I’m dragging my body from one room to another like a zoned out zombie. However I’m happy my girl passed her driver’s test and she’s been getting out groceries since Thursday:) My parents celebrated their 42nd wedding anniversary yesterday and life goes on.

Am inceput tratament intravenos de ieri, vor sa fac de doua ori pe saptamina, timp de 8 saptamini, o combinatie specific numai mie de medicamente totul pe baza naturala. Mi-a spus ca sint caz special, dar te mai uiti. Tratamentul este pentru curatirea mucegaiului care l-au fasit in corp prin analize de singe si inzdravenirea sitemului imun. Binenteles asigurarea medicala nu acopera nimic, deci clar, no fi nimic. (dupa zisele lui Alin, fratele meu). Am observat ca tratamentul asta ma obosit la maxim. Meleah a luat examenul de conducere si se duce la cumparaturi de citeva zile, asta-i de mare ajutor acuma. Parintii mei au celebrat 42 de ani de casatorie ieri si uite asa viata merge inainte.

As promised we’re starting the book today, beginning with the prolog. Check it out under the Damean Family page of the Journal blog. Have a great day:)

Dupa cum am promis incepem cartea azi, cu prologu. Informatiile sint pe pagina Damean Family. Va doresc o zi bune:)