Lyme Disease

Where Do I Find a Christian Wife?

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Borrowed work. Written by Matthey Pierce. I just could not help but share this fun piece. Enjoy

https://mpierce.substack.com/p/where-do-i-find-a-christian-wife?utm_source=email&s=r
Where Do I Find a Christian Wife?

matthew pierce
21 hr ago

30
4


Probably the most dangerous thing for a Christian man is to be single, because horny. Once you get married, you never have to worry about being horny again, because your wife is naked all the time and you get to have sex 20-25 times per day, I know this is true because at youth group Jacob and Asher’s brother Caleb was there and that’s what he said, and he knows a lot because he is 18. Also, because he’s 18, it’s not a sin when he smokes in the parking lot, he said that, too.
When a Christian man doesn’t get married, bad things happen. Just look at Martin Luther: he wanted to be Pope real bad but back then the popes had to be bachelors. So Luther didn’t get married. But then they found out that he wasn’t even Catholic, he was Lutheran, and they were like “hmm, pretty close, but not enough weird traditions, no pope for you” and Martin Luther got so mad that he made a list of various things and then nailed the Wittenberg whore. Then one day his son was like “I have a dream” and I guess it was about how everyone should get to be a pope, no matter what color you are. 
Friends, we have to face the musicians: a Christian man needs to find a godly woman. But how does that work?
Well, in the Bible, when the Israelites were always fighting with the Philippians, in whichever Testament that is, there are some pretty wild stories about men getting wives. At one point the Israelites were told to go to where the nice ladies were and carry one off. We still have this today; it is called Christian college. But what about those who don’t go to Christian college? Where should they go to find a Christian wife?
Easy. I’ll tell you.
The Christian Wife StoreIn most areas, these go by the name Hobby Lobby. These stores are always full of Christian ladies. And yes, it’s true, most of them are already married, but don’t lose heart: look for the employees! Any given Hobby Lobby store will employ 3-5 single Christian homeschooled women who have been told to put their lives on hold and practice knitting until God sends them a husband. They are wearing jean skirts; this is the sign. You have a window here: they are at Hobby Lobby for now, but soon they will get really into deconstruction podcasts, then they will be angry for five years and get a tattoo, then they will have kids and occasionally vote for a Republican candidate who reminds them of their father, even though they would never admit this. 
So, go up and talk to the clerk at the fabric counter who is 26 and wearing a jean skirt with white Keds. She doesn’t know anything about makeup, but she will understand your oddball Biblical theories. Was Melchizedek actually Shem? Go, king. 
In your bedIs there a lady in your bed? If so, is she married? (this is the important question)
If she is married to you: GOOD
If she is married, but not to you: VERY, VERY BAD
If she is not married: THIS IS ALSO BAD. You need to give my youth pastor a call, it may be time for you to rededicate yourself to radical purity. He can bring you a pledge card to sign.
Under the enchanted forest rockJourney into the deep woods at dawn. Past the silent river; over the black hills. Using your LifeWay brand Proverbs 31 dowsing rods, look for the moss-covered boulder that lies on the western bank of the calming brook. Carefully approach the boulder from downwind and lift it using the Staff of Mohler. As soon as you do this, play Steven Curtis Chapman’s song His Eyes on speaker from your phone. There will be several Godly women hiding under the boulder; the sultry tones of the mandolin will momentarily entrance them. Quickly fall to your knees and propose to one of them before it gets to “sometimes His eyes were gentle” because that means the song is almost over and the women will disappear into the brook and not be seen again until the next blood moon. 
The bra aisleOne thing Christian women love is underwear. Probably a good idea is to go to the bra or panty aisle of your local department store1 and just kind of hang out. Maybe be standing there reading a theology book, real cool-like. Well hello there. Don’t mind me, just doing some light reading on the principles of…you know, I couldn’t help but notice that you are looking at the underwear. No no, no need to call for store security, I actually have no idea what girl privates look like, my mom tore that page out of the anatomy textbook when I was homeschooled, anyway do you believe in destiny?
The last place you left herSimply retrace your steps. Did you lose your godly wife before you went out to run errands? Then she is probably in the house somewhere. Did you accidentally leave her sitting on top of the washing machine when you were doing laundry? Did you place her on the counter when you put the leftovers away? Perhaps you only think you lost her; perhaps you forgot that tonight is Melchizedek role play night and she is in the bedroom waiting for you to come prepare the offering.


if you are Baptist, go to Walmart. If you are reformed, go to Target. If you are Charismatic, go to a sporting goods store where they sell athletic wear

You Asked I Answer- Part l- Romanian Version- RELATII DE CASATORIE

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

M-ati intrebat sa scriu despre asteptarile unei visatoare in casatorie inainte si dupa. Voi pune un acent de moldoveanca din cand in cand ca-i si mai haios asa si hai sa radem impreauna, sa facem haz de necaz.

Inainte de nunta cand nu mai putem di iubire si credem ca al nostru print e cel mai chipes di pi lume;) Cantec

Si dupa ….ehhh atunci ajungi sa-l cunostem noi pe Hristos cel mai bine.

 “De aceea bărbatul își va lăsa tatăl și mama și se va alipi de soția lui, iar ei vor fi un singur trup.” Genesa 2:24

Ce zice Biblia? Dar mai du-te tu de la mama-ta si tata-tu ca si asa au platit astia destul pentru tine si le trebuie o pauza si uneste-te cu ala care l-ai luat si ai crezut ca-i Fat Frumos, si face-ti-va casa, cumparati-va lucruri, face-ti si copii ca prea bine dormiti voi amu fara ei, si pe urma sa vedeti voi cum albiti imediat si toate visurile de fericire pana la adanci batranete vi se vor pune in incurcatura, iara pentru fetele visatoare nu va face-ti voi probleme dragele mele un an de casatorie sau doi si vi se lecuieste tendinta de a visa imediat!

Articolul asta nu-i pentru cucoanele care au viata perfecta, e pentru tinerele visatoare care cred ca maritisul va rezolva totul. (Si aicea ma abtin de la ras).

Din experienta mea personala am vazut ca tratamentul cel mai bun si rapid pentru o visatoare este casatoria! De preferat cu un caracter exact opus tie, care sa-ti impinga toate butoanele emotiilor si a mintii. Haoleu! Sa vezi ce rapid cazi pe pamant! De nu te lecuiesti! Garantat.

Okay Carmen, dar mesajul tau nu e incurajator si nu mi-l place.

Maica draga daca vrei sa ai o viata fara stres ai aterizat pe planeta gresita. Amu hai sa vedem cum sa invatam sa infruntam aceste nevazuri care ne sunt garantate (Ioan 16:33) ca sa trecem mai avantajos peste ele.

  1. Fat Frumos al tau se beseste, sforaie, isi lasa hainele murdare pe jos, uita sa-ti cumpere flori, nu te baga in seama cand vorbesti, si asteapta sex de la tine mai tot timpul. Concluzie: Nu e Fat Frumos. E un om oarecare care a pretins. In realitate e imperfect si are multe de invatat. Si tu ai multe de invatat. Mai ales rabdare.
  2. Vei deveni prietena buna cu Dumnezeu garantat! Vin copii, necazuri, grasime pe corp, riduri pe fata, parul cade, burta creste, si necazur tot sporeste- am fost inspirata- scuze. La fel si al tau se va extinde mai mult lateral si uite asa viata asta aduce mult excess in anumite aspecte.
  3. E nevoie sa gasesti o prietena- e bine daca mama ta va deveni si prietena ta- ca sa-ti versi amarul, nu de alta dar ca sa nu-ti omori barbatul si copii cand da tarcoale ispita. Ei inga, toti am trecut prin ispite. Mai ales atunci cand e ziua ta si a uitat boul sa-ti aduca flori si o ciocolata…ai Doamne! De vrei sa traiesti fugi de acasa! Revii peste o saptamana! Auzi?
  4. Amu ca m-am calmat, despre ce vorbeam? Ahh… cum infrunti tu ispitele astea? Tre sa ierti mult si o sa fie mai usor cu varsta cand vei incepe sa suferi de Alzeimer’s. Mult mai usor! Garantat!
  5. Tre sa graiesti clar cu omu tau, ca de multe ori nu pricepe, si tre sa ii explici limitele tale. Toti avem limite. De exemplu: Daca te mai holbesti la sanii altor muieri nu-i vei mai vedeam pe ai mei veci! Clar? Pai ce inseamna asta? Ai zas ca esti om crestin cand te-am luat, ai uitat ca esti crestin?
  6. Uita-te in oglinda si realizeaza cateva lucruri: reflectia ta e aceea a unei femei capabila de orice. Capu sus, concediaza gandurile negative (Matei 6: 21-23 ; in loc de ochi spunem, gandurile) si da-ti seama ca pentru un barbat cea mai sexy parte ar trupului tau este zambetul. O femeie cu un zambet larg devine foarte atractiva sotului. Si lasa-le in colo de vase murdate ca te vor astepta si maine tot acolo unde le-ai lasat. Mai bine petrece timp pozitiv cu sotul si daca comenteaza ca-ci casa nu-i curata dezbraca-te la pielea goala si va uita de toate necazurile lui.
  7. Umorul! E foarte important in viata si in relatie. Razi! (Proverbe 17:22) Si uita tristetea, frica, si necazul. Razi!

Voi continua cu versiuni in limba engleza in urmatoarele bloguri- vor fi diferite de ceea ce am scris azi- dar inainte de a incheia, vreau sa va doresc o zi binecuvantat si sa-i multumesc lui Dumenzeu pentru sotul meu care desi imi impinge butoanele nu stiu ce as face fara el:)

Bafta!

Doamne ajuta!

You Asked I Answer-Part II-Depression

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

What happens when our prayers for a miracle do not bring the miracle? Usually, disappointment shows up. Some doubt. At times hope fades and anger rises. Eventually, we accept the new version of our lives which is a less desirable one. But when questions or doubts or judgments or criticism are shoved our way by others we feel like complete failures. You know the type of doubts: Did you pray? For how long? How hard? Did you really believe it? The sin in your life must be the size of a whopping Big Mac if you’re not healed yet. The sins of your father are the size of an entire Mcdonald’s. Your mother’s sins are the size of a whole fast food franchise! Have you lost your vision? What about your focus? Is this a spiritual battle? A medical one? Both? Is the problem in the body? Mind? Spirit? All three? Devil vs God? Health, vs disease? Well, vs unwell. It is Karma? Jesus does not like me. Or Budhha, or Muhammad so on. Do I even deserve to get better?

You’re not alone in this madness, for this is a form of unsettled madness. We all do it, whether we believe in a god or not. You blame yourself, your ancestors, your genes, your spouse, the system, and even your pet and all this does for you is inflate the scale of the burdens you already feel weighed down by. When no amount of meditation, magic tea, or the right treatment brings you relief, then desperation crawls into your soul and does not want to leave. And that’s when fellow believers should crack their knuckles and see how they could help, but for many, quite the opposite happens. These fellow believers deliver the harshest of blows with their judgments and views.

We’ve all done it, myself included but when we’re at the receiving end it stinks. It makes us feel guilty. Defensive. Like we did something wrong. Like we messed up. And maybe some of us did mess up. Maybe some of us do need a radical change. I needed one. Not in my diet, or lifestyle. Those were fine for the better part. I needed a radical change in my mind, my thoughts. I needed to stop hating myself, to learn to believe that I was loved by other people, that I was worth everything in God’s eyes. But learning that we have value and we’re enough just the way we are is a hard lesson in reality.

But you asked me: How do you deal with fellow Christians doubting you are sick? Making everything sound like it’s your fault and the Devil you let in, which is also your fault?

Mama mia! How indeed? It’s hard to answer this question. Why? Because each of us is constantly oscillating between giving unwanted advice or being on the receiving end of such unwanted advice. So how do we go about this?

I have come to the conclusion that one must focus on its own healing and let the other’s voice be like a distant echo in your life. Grab what helps, and let go of anything else. Easily said right? Hard to do.

I’ve also come to believe that our doubts in self-healing powers ( faith that God died to heal you, remember?) and self-care- body-soul and spirit- are at the root of most of our suffering. I really believe the majority of humanity is suicidal. At least they have suicidal behavior. Let me explain: we’re killing ourselves -what does the Bible say about suicide?- with a toxic diet, a toxic environment, a toxic mind, and toxic beliefs. We are committing suicide. We are the slow suicides. Our methods differ slightly from a typical suicide attempt and we’ve lied to our conscious for so long about how our lifestyle is fine that we no longer see the metaphorical knife in our hands. I know this is a touchy subject for some of you who’ve had family members or friends that committed suicide, so I do apologize. There’s zero intent to make light of this situation, quite the opposite. People of all faiths are struggling with depression. It is a fact. Another fact is the medical research showing the imbalance happening in the body of those suffering from depression. In reality, we ALL have some sort of mental instability, but some are better at hiding it than others. We’re struggling one way or another, but some choose not to focus on their imbalance by challenging another’s imbalance. Bad move. That person you’re challenging could be one second away from giving up. But why is mental illness so taboo? Especially since it’s obvious that prescribed pharmaceutical drugs have such dark side effects and push far too many into the darkest side of life. This is not a Jesus thing, or Budhha, or anyone other than humans. This is a human thing. We pollute the land, the waters, the air, the food, the soul, and the mind. We’re responsible so next time when someone is struggling with depression stop telling them they need Jesus and make sure they get help in a good detoxification program meant to help the body, soul, and mind. You haven’t helped one bit with your “you need Jesus” statement. It is a cop-out to keep you from actually helping the one suffering. I do that too at times, maybe because I’m in a hurry, maybe because I don’t feel like helping, blind to the inner struggles of the other and forgetting for a moment the importance of human life. I think of Robin Williams, a great actor, and comedian who struggled but kept going until one day when it became too much. Or Mother Teresa, a woman who helped so many less fortunate but very important human beings while dealing with her own deep struggle with depression. Both Robin and Teresa focused on helping others in different ways. I really believe helping others is what gives us the strength to fight our own battles. It reminds us we’re not alone in our pain, it connects us with our human brothers and sisters.

I find the biggest tragedy in our lives is that we’re too noisy in our heads and in our hearts to really see the truth beyond the physical aspect, blind to that pure and honest beauty some of us call God. I also find it criminal when we hurt others in the name of this existence/God, believing that its character is as dark as ours, and completely missing the ignorance and falsehood of our own beliefs.

Luke 18:8 NIV

However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

I believe it’s not about our inability to have faith or believe in something wonderful, I believe we live in a noisy world, a deafening noise in our own minds and body that blocks and/or hinders the whispers of this wonderful existence beyond, an existence some call it Christ, but it really has many names.

I close with this: I wish I had the cure or the answer. I don’t. We have to work together to find the answer and I really believe this answer and many others lie in the action of caring for each other.

God Bless

Books I love and recommend to help with finding the inner strength to take your healing to a next level:

-Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza and “You are the placebo” by the same author

-The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

-The Book of Joy with Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

This post does not address the cruel, sick people out there who simply love to hurt someone else and need some serious rehabilitation. This is about everyday people.

You Asked I Answer-Part 1-Depression

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment
Thank you for asking me to write about certain subjects. I’m honored and I’ll try to do my best. After some reflection over the subjects sent my way I came up with a light and funny scenario for our introduction. Relax, chill and enjoy.

Prayer
“Jesus this is your kid. There’s been a miscommunication in our communication lately, like the past forty years or so, so how can we clear this up properly this time? Do you know your followers? Both the real ones and the pretend ones? They’ve been trained so poorly by other followers of yours and they’re causing some problems in the world.

Where do I start?

You know how you love us and stuff? Well… there are some followers of yours who think they know the formula to your love potion but all that comes out of their lives is this pink-colored shit. It’s pretty to look at but stinks like hell. But then, I’ve never been to hell so I’m assuming that’s how hell smells. Not everyone is bad, but there’s enough of them out there to put a black hole in many souls. Did you guys have a conference or something I missed out on? Cause I’m telling you they speak like they got your memo handed personally to them by your holy hand and no one else’s. You should see the hoops and obstacles they ask us to jump through to get on your good side.

And also, only white, old, fanatic, angry, Pentecostals can get into heaven? Cause that’s what they keep telling us. I’m telling you it’s not only confusing but downright discouraging. And what’s with all the anger? Do you like anger that much? Cause I kind of love, the quiet times and I like to hang out with lots of different people that may not believe the way I do.

And when your followers get sick… let me tell you, they’re treated worst than the stray dogs on the streets. Shouldn’t that be the time your followers should kick in gear and help the ones hurting? That’s what I thought you said in that book everyone worships more than anything, including you. Well, they’re not doing that. Ahh…you already know that? Then why don’t you do something about it? Ahh, they’re not listening. I get that. You should see the conversations I have with my kids most days! I may as well talk to myself in the bathroom mirror, I’ll get more results. I get your frustration.

And all that racism issues happening all over the world… ahh you didn’t do that either? I see. We did that. We’re really stupid, aren’t we? We don’t listen squat to what you tell us. I can see that. You know I have been sick lately. You do. Thank you. So where’s that miracle you keep on promising and hardly delivering? Not happening because I choose to keep messing up my life? Not happening because I keep making the wrong decisions? Man! I can see that. I guess “you should not kill another or cheat on one another, and stuff like that was too hard for us to follow. We should not eat toxic and bad food, and store up hate either. I’ll try to remember that. Well, I’ll leave you to whatever you’re up to cause I’m hungry and I got to cook dinner. Anyhow, nice chatting with you. I’ll be back. Very soon. I promise.
Ohh… God? Some of us are trying our best but we’re scared of the ones that don’t care one way or another. Bye.
One of your many kids, C.

Small veins person

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment
Me after my latest emergency trip. 5/13/2022


-The smile represents what the medical field wants us to believe about their expert abilities. All the ads on TV are filled with happy promises.
-The bruises are the reality of an ER trip in my case, and the “professional” results from five pokes in order for the nurses to get some blood and an IV in.
–To all the nurses out there that may read this, please keep in mind not everyone has nice big veins that are easy to find. I’m so tired of the bruising and pain I have to go through only to get an IV in or have some blood drawn for tests. I’m sure I’m not alone.

For those who would like to read about an ER story, read on, for anyone else it may be too boring so go for a walk in nature:)

On Friday evening, May 13th of this year, around 8:45 pm, Chet and I walked into the Swedish ER in Ballard. About four weeks ago I had sharp stabbing pain in my left side around my heart, scapula, left side of my neck, back of my head, and stomach, followed by nausea and an inability to complete a full breath. Once the pain eased a constant ache remained, at times more painful than others followed by a difficulty while breathing only on my left side. When nausea increased and fever hit me- now it’s been about two weeks later- I thought I should do the responsible thing and go to the ER. After being poked three times, without any success to find a vein and introduce the IV, a different nurse tried it a fourth then a fifth time followed, and a botchy, painful job was in progress as the needle kept moving under my skin looking for a cooperative vein. The pain brought on nausea followed by a faint feeling.
“I’m not feeling well. Can I have some water?”
“Sorry, we can’t give you water yet, not before taking some blood.” Made sense.
“I’m nauseated and I feel like I’m going to pass out.”
“It’s a good thing you’re already lying in a bed, would you…” But I never heard the rest as I passed out. A fraction of a second before passing I realized something.
“I walked in here on my own two feet. Will I walk out the same way? Will Chet “-who was waiting in the car parked outside due to Covid protocol and a stark similarity to hospital protocols during communism back in Romania, interesting- “receive an awful news?” Complications, bad reactions, and medical mistakes happen all the time in hospitals.
“I will find out in a moment, one way or another. I will wake up either on this side of the world or the other one, but I will wake up.” I was not scared. Not one bit. I let go. I accepted. I know one way or another I will be alright, but then my mind got sucked into a world filled with lots of images, glimpses of life, a brighter world, a world where colors were deeply intense, a content sort of happy world. My mind was someplace else and the only things I recollect after I woke up were the image of a man in a green shirt, and splashes of orange. I was perfectly happy and calm and I felt no fear. Then the beautiful images bled into a dark matter as I heard a voice coming from far away.
“Carmen! Carmen! Can you hear me? Wake-up! Can you hear me?”
“Sort of, but I can’t see you.” I thought. In the past I would’ve expected my body to follow all the orders received by doctors, to do what everybody else wanted out of me. I would push it to please the others. I never took the time to listen to what my body needed. I never gave it permission to tell me what it required in times such as these. Not this time. I must’ve learned a good lesson these past few years for now I stood still in utter peace.
“She’s having a seizure!” a voice shouted but I was walking a lonely road between the images and the blackness without a care in the world. Then there was only blackness, thick, and it took time to dissolve. First, it happened in patches, not at all in a neat pattern, then I saw forms moving as thought through thick fog or milky air.
“Do you know where you are?”
“No.” the mind spoke
“Carmen! Can you hear me?” These words were repeated over and over and I was confused. Was I dreaming? Maybe not. But my body was frozen, detached, unplugged from reality.
“It’s okay, body. Take your time. I’m here with you. I care about you, we’ll be alright. I know they hurt you but we both know this is temporary and as long as I got you you’ll be okay. Rest. Let them agitate, whoever they are, you take your time. You heal at your speed, not theirs.” And the body took its time. (Could this be God speaking? Or a neurological symptom of a flawed conscious? Both?)
“These look like absent seizures to me, don’t you think?
“Get the doctor. Her eyes were fluttering.”
“Why would he say there’s nothing interesting here to see?” a whisper spoke.
“Don’t know, but these look like absent seizures to me, don’t they look like that to you?” another whisper.
“Go get him. These are seizures.” noise, footsteps, a male voice.
“Carmen! Can you hear me?
“Yes, but I can’t speak, or move, or fix my eyes on your face. My body is frozen.”
“Yes, these are seizures but something else, it does not present as a typical seizure, yet… it’s odd, … a panic attack? Epilepsy?”
“Maybe she’s faking it. Do you think?”
“Don’t know. Grab her arm and drop it.” Something I faintly felt slapped my head and face but I was frozen. No movement. No eye blinking. Frozen.
“No, she’s not faking it.”
“Do the other arm.”
“Okay.” Another faint touch to my head and face, more frozen. I was aware, but could not respond, at least the body could not. I was still a little confused if I was dreaming or not.
“You can’t fake that.” Some lights flashed in my unblinking eyes and moved in and out. No blinking. My eyes just stared straight ahead. I could not focus on their faces no matter how insistent they were. Where was I? I think in a hospital, but I wasn’t quite sure.
“Carmen! Can you hear me?” My chest was being rubbed by knuckles more than once, I think I got pinched, but all I could do was stare at the ceiling. I was there and I wasn’t. Present. Watching. But not there, at least not the way they wanted me to be. I was inside an unresponsive body. I could not feel its pain yet, which came later as soul, spirit, and body began to connect again, until then there was a disconnect. Once connected I felt the pain. It was a PCR test in the second nostril that brought the soul and body closer to connection and three days later I can still feel my sternum bones hurting from the knuckles rubbing done on me.
“Give her…for her seizure. A low dose, since the head neurologist isn’t sure what this is.”
“Welcome back! Do you know where you are?
I nodded yes
“Where?”
“Hospital.”
“What’s your name?”
“Carmen Mcknight, yet the words came out with great difficulty and somewhat unintelligible since my mouth and facial muscles were refusing to cooperate.
“That looks like a seizure to me.” One nurse spoke and flashed more lights in my eyes. Still no response. But I was slowly coming out of whatever this seizure, not seizure episode was.
Once the seizure activity was resolved more tests were done and besides the presence of blood, epithelial cells, and lymphocytes in the urine, and other blood test results a little off, everything looked good. Ahh, with the exception of the tachycardia (140). So I got admitted to the hospital and put under supervision then sent home the next day without treatment for the infection- other than one dose of intravenous antibiotic- or a diagnosis. And this ladies and gentlemen is the western medical system in our country.
The most amazing part of this whole experience was the presence of calm and absence of fear. Complete absence of fear I may add. The serenity and calm I felt were absolute. Was it all the prayers sent to the heavens by my family? Was it a medical issue that happens when the brain lacks oxygen and goes into a state of shock? Could be, yet my oxygen levels were normal the whole time. I like to think I was part of the living present. Watching. Observing. Not afraid. Because one way or another I would be alright. Most people call it God, others call it an energy, others call it a spirit, no matter, I know it was there with me, and I with it. I was alright. I would be alright. The End.

P.S. I did get annoyed once I got home and my bruises began hurting. Can’t be perfect even if I want to:)

For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.Isaiah 41:13

Small veins, people

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment
Me, after my latest emergency trip- 5/15/2022
  • The smile represents what the medical field wants us to believe about their expert abilities. All the ads on TV are filled with happy promises.
  • The bruises are the reality of an ER trip in my case, and the “professional” results from five pokes in order for the nurses to get some blood and an IV in.
  • To all the nurses out there that may read this, please keep in mind not everyone has nice big veins that are easy to find. I’m so tired of the bruising and pain I have to go through only to get an IV in or have some blood drawn for tests. I’m sure I’m not alone.

For those who would like to read about an ER story, read on, for anyone else it may be too boring so go for a walk in nature:)

On Friday evening, May 13th of this year, around 8:45 pm, Chet and I walked into the Swedish ER in Ballard. About four weeks ago I had sharp stabbing pain in my left side around my heart, scapula, left side of my neck, back of my head, and stomach, followed by nausea and an inability to complete a full breath. Once the pain eased a constant ache remained, at times more painful than others followed by a difficulty while breathing only on my left side. When the nausea increased and fever hit me- now its been about two weeks later- I thought I should do the responsible thing and go to the ER. After being poked three times, without any success to find a vein and introduce the IV, a different nurse tried it a fourth then a fifth time followed, and a botchy, painful job was in progress as the needle kept moving under my skin looking for a cooperative vein. The pain brought on nausea followed by a faint feeling.

“I’m not feeling well. Can I have some water?”

“Sorry, we can’t give you water yet, not before taking some blood.” Made sense.

“I’m nauseated and I feel like I’m going to pass out.”

“It’s a good thing you’re already lying in a bed, would you…” But I never heard the rest as I passed out. A fraction of a second before passing I realized something.

“I walked in here on my own two feet. Will I walk out the same way? Will Chet “-who was waiting in the car parked outside due to Covid protocol and a stark similarity to hospital protocols during communism back in Romania, interesting- “receive an awful news?” Complications, bad reactions and medical mistakes happen all the time in hospitals.

“I will find out in a moment, one way or another. I will wake up either on this side of the world or the other one, but I will wake up.” I was not scared. Not one bit. I let go. I accepted. I know one way or another I will be alright, then my mind got sucked in a world filled with lots of images, glimpses of life, a brighter world, a world where colors were deepely intense, a content sort of happy world. My mind was someplace else and the only things I recollect once I woke up was the image of a man in a green shirt, and splashes of orange. I was perfectly happy, calm and I felt no fear. Then the beautiful images bled into a darkness matter as I heard a voice coming from far away.

“Carmen! Carmen! Can you hear me? Wake-up! Can you hear me?”

“Sort of, but I can’t see you.” I thought. In the past I would’ve expected my body to follow all the orders received by doctors, to do what everybody else wanted out of me. I would push it to please the others. I never took the time to listen to what my body needed. I never gave it permission to tell me what it required in times such as these. Not this time. I must’ve learned a good lesson these past few years for now I stood still in utter peace.

“She’s having a seizure!” a voice shouted but I was walking a lonely road between the images and the blackness without a care in the world. Then there was only blackness, thick, and it took time to disolve. First it happened in patches, not at all in a neat pattern, then I saw forms moving as thought through thick fog or milky air.

“Do you know where you are?”

“No.” the mind spoke

“Carmen! Can you hear me?” These word were repeated over and over and I was confused. Was I dreaming? Maybe not. But my body was frozen, detached, unplugged from a reality.

“It’s okay body. Take your time. I’m here with you. I care about you, we’ll be alright. I know they hurt you but we both know this is temporary and as long as I got you you’ll be okay. Rest. Let them agitate, whomever they are, you take your time. You heal at your speed, not theirs.” And the body took its time. (Could this be God speaking? Or a neurological symptom to a flawed concious? Both?)

“These look like absent seizures to me, don’t you think?

“Get the doctor. Her eyes were fluttering.”

“Why would he say there’s nothing interesting here to see?” a whisper spoke.

“Don’t know, but these look like absent seizures to me, don;t they to you?” another whisper.

“Go get him. These are seizures.” noise, foot steps, a male voice.

“Carmen! Can you hear me?

“Yes, but I can’t speak, or move, or fix my eyes on your face. My body is frozen.”

“Yes, these are seizures but something else, it does not present as a typical seizure, yet… it’s odd, … a panick attack? An epilepsie?”

“Maybe she’s faking it. Do you think?”

“Don’t know. Grab her arm and drop it.” Something I faintly fell slapped my head and face but I was frozen. No movement. No eye blinking. Frozen.

“No she’s not faking it.”

“Do the other arm.”

“Okay.” Another faint touch to my head and face, more frozen. I was aware, but could not respond, at least the body could not. I was still a little confused if I was dreaming or not.

“You can’t fake that.” Some lights flashed in my unblinking eyes moved in and out. No blinking. My eyes just stared straight ahead. I could not focus on their faces no matter how insistent they were. Where was I? I think in a hospital, but I wasn’t quite sure.

“Carmen! Can you hear me?” My chest was being rubbed by knuckles more than once, I think I got pinched, but all I could do was stare at the ceiling. I was there and I wasn’t. Present. Watching. But not there, at least not the way they wanted me to be. I was inside an unresponsive body. I could not feel its pain yet, that came later as soul, spirit and body began to connect again, until then there was a disconnect. Once connected I felt the pain. It was a PCR test in the second nostril that brought the soul and body closer to connection and three days later I can still feel my sternum bones hurting from the knuckles rubbing done on me.

“Give her…for her seizure. A low dose, since the head neurologist isn’t sure what this is.”

“Welcome back! Do you know where you are?

I nodded yes

“Where?”

“Hospital.”

“What’s your name?”

“Carmen Mcknight, yet the words came out with great difficulty and somewhat unintelligible, since my mouth and facial muscles were refusing to cooperate.

“That looks like a seizure to me.” One nurse spoke and flashed more lights in my eyes. Still no response. But I was slowly coming out of whatever this seizure, not seizure episode was.

Once the seizure activity resolved more tests were done and besides the presence of blood, epithelial cells and lymphocites in the urine, and other blood test results a little off, everything looked good. Ahh, with the exception of the tachycardia (140). So I got admited in the hopsital and put under supervision then sent home the next day without treament for the infection- other than one dose of intravenous antibiotic- or a diagnosis. And this ladies and gentlement is the western medical system in our country.

The most amazing part of this whole experience was the presence of calm and absence of fear. Complete absence of fear I may add. The serenity and calm I felt was absolute. Was it all the prayers sent to the heavens by my family? Was it a medical issue that happens when the brain lacks oxygen and goes into a shock state? Could be, yet my oxygen levels were normal the whole time. I like to think it was me aware of the present. Part of the present. Watching. Observing. Not afraid. Because one way or another I would be alright. A God assurance within me and around me. Or call it energy -the christians call it spirit- no matter, it was there with me and I with it. I was alright. I would be alright. The End.

Poezie

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment
Photo by Johannes Plenio from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/silhouette-photography-of-boat-on-water-during-sunset-1118874/

Diavolul din piață. de Carmen McKnight

Diavolul sa dus la aprozar

Să cumpere o legătură de mărar.

Sa dus și pe la piața mare

Ca să mănâce o frigare

Și acolo eu l-am întâlnit

Când un kilogram de morcovi am dorit

De la omul care încerca și zarzavat călit să-mi vândă.

Dar am refuzat. Și am crezut că-o văd pe Ica

O prietenă ce am și-acuma și-n trecut,

Era doar o iluzie. Ce păcat. O amintire de demult. 

Când o lacrimă la un copil pe-obraz a apărut

“Nu-are cine să mă-ajute,” când el ușor a cam gemul

“Că-ci răul adânc la noi în casă a pătruns

Și tot mereu loveste cu avânt,

Din moș strămoși e-acolo, generații să distrugă

Și-acum pe mine mă poftește!”

Așa a plâns copilul la tejghea

Și vânzătorul care zâmbetul pe față mainainte îl avea

Cu glasul rece ca de gheață copilului-i vorbea

“Măi taci din gură și mergi acasă!” el a zis punându-mi morcovii în plasă.

Dar am știut că diavolul acuma morcovi-i vindea.

“Nu mulțumesc. M-am răzgândit. Pe altă dată,

Acasă morcovi eu aș mai avea.”

Dar diavolul cu ochii răi și inima de piatră

A presimțit ce va urma și a urlat

“Nicicum! Tu nu vei câștiga!” Eu i-am răspuns:

“Asta noi doi o vom vedea.”

Dar diavolul a dispărut, o gaură-n pământ el a făcut

De-o adâncime mare și de ne-ntrecut.

Dar după el spiritul meu l-a urmărit

Luând și trupul care nicidecum nu a dorit

Să meargă la o altă bătălie

Căci cu durerea ce-a să vină, o să-o simtă din avânt.

Și-n groapa morții cea adâncă am căzut

Și gheara întunericului cu vibrațiile ei neclare și cu greață mare

Ma străpuns. Tărână neagră peste ochi s-a pus… cam deajuns.

Dar eu urmam pe diavolul tot mai adânc. 

Ca un tunel de uragan el arăta:

Tunelul viselor ne-împlinite, 

Divorțului de sine, de altul și de Dumnezeu, abuzului și deznădejdi

A bolilor și a coșmarurilor cumplite,

A lacrimilor de durere și-a viselor înfrânte

Căci el colecționează cam cu zor

Tot ce e frânt, și rupt și putred și fără spor.

Era îngrozitor și spaima iute-a vrut ca pradă să mă ea

“Vei câștiga! Mergi cu nădejde, cu avânt, nu întârzia, 

că din prăpastia asta Eu te voi înălța. Tu singură nu ești,

în vena ta a mea prezență este și forță îți va da

și vei ieși din groapa morții și voi învinge, nu uita!” 

Și-atuncea am știut că orice negreală aș vedea

In adâncul prăfuit și singur și fără de speranță

La suprafața gropii iară voi ajunge unde-i viață

Și soarele răsare, aeru-i curat, viață măreață

Unde copilul trist eu voi putea să-alin

Că-n vene aveam pe Dumnezeul universului divin

Care-mi dădea putere, forță și curaj

Să-nving pe diavolul din piață

Și pace-n suflet am primit și siguranță pentru biruință.

Isaiah 54:17

Orice armă făurită împotriva ta va fi fără putere; şi pe orice limbă care se va ridica la judecată împotriva ta, o vei osîndi. Aceasta este moştenirea robilor Domnului, aşa este mîntuirea care le vine dela Mine, zice Domnul.“

Poezia asta este bazata pe un vis care l-am avut azi dimineata. Va doresc la toti o zi plina de nadejde si puterea sperantei. O zi binecuvantata va doresc la toti.

Can Claritin help cure Lyme disease?

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

https://www.lymedisease.org/claritin-lyme-balf-2/


“New research suggests that a common allergy medication may be effective in starving and killing the bacteria that cause Lyme disease.

Press release from Bay Area Lyme Foundation, Feb 10, 2015

A new study funded by the Bay Area Lyme Foundation and conducted by Stanford School of Medicine researchers shows that loratadine, which is a common antihistamine frequently taken to treat allergy symptoms, may be able to help kill Borrelia burgdorferi, the bacteria associated with Lyme disease. Lyme disease is a potentially debilitating condition with 300,000 new cases in the US each year. The study was published in the Open Access publication Drug Design, Development and Therapy.

“Our results bring us closer to the possibility of discovering the first targeted therapy to treat Lyme disease,” says Jayakumar Rajadas, PhD, Director, Biomaterials and Advanced Drug Delivery Lab (BioADD), Stanford School of Medicine, and lead author of the study. “It’s exciting to see first-hand that our insights into the metabolic activity of this elusive bacteria may give us the ability to actually kill it.”

The results of this new laboratory study show that loratadine (trade name: Claritin®) and specifically its metabolite, desloratadine, are able to prevent manganese (Mn) from entering the cell wall of the bacteria that causes Lyme disease, starving the bacteria and causing it to die in test tubes. The antihistamine accomplishes this by inhibiting the bacteria’s transport system, BmtA (Borrelia metal transporter A).

Manganese is required for certain metabolic processes of Borrelia burgdorferi and also plays an important role in numerous biological processes in the human body. Previous research shows that in general, bacteria scavenge the body for trace metals that circulate in the blood and have developed special adaptations on their cell walls to internalize these metals. These adaptations are called transport proteins, and BmtA is the specialized transport protein for Borrelia burgdorferi. BmtA binds with manganese to bring it into the bacteria, and studies have shown that BmtA and manganese are required to make the bacteria harmful to the human body[i]

“Because current treatments do not work for everyone and the bacteria that causes Lyme disease offers many treatment challenges, this study offers encouraging insights for researchers, and hope for the 80 million Americans at risk of getting Lyme disease,” Bonnie Crater, founder and Science Committee Chairperson, Bay Area Lyme Foundation, the leading private funder of innovative Lyme disease research in the US.  “We are grateful to the BioADD team for their commitment to finding solutions to this difficult disease.”

Currently, patients with Lyme disease are typically prescribed a 2–4 week course of antibiotics, but approximately 10 to 20% of patients treated with this regimen will have lingering symptoms of fatigue, pain, or joint and muscle aches[ii].

About Lyme Disease
Increasing in threat due to rising prevalence across the US, Lyme disease is a potentially debilitating infection caused by bacteria transmitted through the bite of an infected tick to people and pets. If caught early, most cases of Lyme disease can be effectively treated, but it is commonly misdiagnosed due to lack of awareness and unreliable diagnostic tests. There are about 300,000 new cases of Lyme disease each year, 10 times more than previously reported, according to statistics released in 2013 by the CDC. As a result of the difficulty in diagnosing and treating Lyme disease, as many as one million Americans may be suffering from the impact of its debilitating long-term symptoms and complications, according to Bay Area Lyme Foundation estimates.

[i]  Ouyang Z et al: A manganese transporter, BB0219 (BmtA), is required for virulence by the Lyme disease spirochete, Borrelia burgdorferi. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2009 Mar 3;106(9):3449-54.. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19218460

[ii] Wormser GP, et al.: Duration of antibiotic therapy for early Lyme disease. A randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial. Ann Intern Med 2003 May 6;138(9):697-704. and http://www.cdc.gov/lyme/postLDS/“

Getting back to normal life

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

Getting back to normal life after our vacation is harder than expected. I want to be in vacation mode for the rest of my life, or at least until I get bored of vacation:) You feel the same right? One thing this vacation showed me is that my level of health is far more advanced than I thought:) I am stronger than I even realized myself, so yeh!!!!!!!!! The sun and warmth a winter California offers helped a lot. As soon as we came towards mid Oregon and closer to Washington I felt a pressure on my cervical spine and joint ache a bit, so its definitely the weather and some pressure in the air we Washingtonians have to deal with during the winter times. I would move to California, if their politics were better, so I’ll have to find some other sunny place to move to:) Idaho? Maybe.

How is your winter going so far? What’s new in your life? I’d love to hear from you.

For those fighting from Lyme Disease and multiple co-infections, I’m going to share with you another great source of information: JP Davitt, admin of the Lyme Conquerors mentoring Lyme Warriors on Facebook. He has his personal Facebook page as well at https://www.facebook.com/groups/249582559735333/user/100008791033491

Or follow his youtube videos at: Lymefriends, https://youtu.be/oBXKCVt9Hls

Don’t forget to Subscribe and turn on notifications: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTt9… Lymetime Series:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3TO-… Lymefriends FREE Lyme IQ Program LYME IQ: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip9n6… Join The Lymefriends Community ▶Get the App App Store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/lymefri… Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/apps/de… ▶ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lymefriends/ ▶ Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/24958… Lymebook Preview: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list… ▶Get your Copy of the Lymebook: https://www.amazon.com/lymebook-Journ… ▶Checkout the Lymestore: https://lymestore.com/ ▶ For Inquires: info@lymefriends.com

Hope this can be of help to someone and bring you closer and faster to health:)

Have a great day today. God Bless:)

Road trip

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

We’ve been gone for almost two weeks on a Pacific west coast road trip and just got back. Alex came with us and together we had a wonderful time. We left Washington state, went down the Oregon coast, then California, Nevada, a little bit of Arizona, Utah, Idaho, then back to Oregon and Washington. I’m not glad to be back to the cold, rainy and gloomy state I live in. Some future changes must happen:) Here’s a little glimpse to our fun adventures:)

Oregon: Cannon Beach, Tillamook cheese factory, couple state Parks where we spent the night, Florence, Dune City where we drove ATV’s.

California: RedWoods National Park- Trees of Mystery Touristic attraction, Ventura city, Universal City, Hollywood sign, Hollywood walk of fame, Los Angeles, Santa Monica Beach, San Francisco

Nevada: Las Vegas

Arizona: passing through

Utah: Zion National Park- spectacular, Salt Lake City with the best authentic Thai restaurant called Sarah Thai Food,

Idaho: drove straight through it

Oregon: Baker City,

Washington: home. One day we were in 3 states: Woke un in Salt Lake City, Utah, drove right though Idaho where the most amazing blue skies and white clouds I’ve ever seen are, and entered Oregon, where we found a motel in Baker City and only junk food is available. Hard to find vegan, gluten-free organic restaurant food.

We had a wonderful time and made lots of great memories:)

Enjoy the pictures.