Last night my daughter had an emotional breakdown and as we tried to help her out it got worse. Chet and I sat dumbfounded, staring at each other, perplexed by our daughter’s accusations. She didn’t seem to be thinking clearly at all, accusing us of selfishness and being against her. It took a while for me to realize that sometimes, us girls, need to pour out our frustrations even if they don’t make any sense.
But today as I’m editing the Romanian version of my book, I came across a similar scenario, except I was the daughter and I had the same distrust towards my mother. She seemed so toughened up by the hardships of her life that expecting softness from her was unrealistic, even if very much desired. And some of my daughters’ words rang into my head: “I just need someone to listen and understand. I knew I wasn’t going to get it from you but in my delusion, I tried.” Have I become my mother in this regard? Don’t get me wrong, I love and very much admire my mother, but that does not mean everything was hunky dory. Have I allowed the hardships of my own life drain the softness right out of me? I may have. As I meditate at this new discovery, I pray I’ll find a way to undo some of this hardness and be able to listen to my own daughter and not rush into another life lessons. There are days we need understanding void of more life lessons.