This is for my friend L and whoever else may find themselves in these words.
Why is the painful road so long? Why is it so dark, at times? Why is this road of suffering so lonely? Why me?
Questions expressed in times of deep pain and, emotions lived in times of darkness, are some of the most honest conversations we have with ourselves, God or others. There is a time to act like Superman or Wonder Woman and there’s a time to heal from all the wounds afflicted upon us. Don’t be surprised when you feel the heel of hate and stupidity kick you when you’re at your lowest, sometimes from the most unexpected of people. In contrast, don’t stop being amazed by the hand of help coming your way from the most unexpected sources. God will always surprise you when you let him. Mine came in the form of Elizabeth, a friend I will cherish for life. Yours will be different, but just as amazing. Always thank God for such a gift. Please, don’t dwell in the disappointments of perceived notions but look up, at the unknown and you’ll be amazed by the possibilities.
Why some roads are longer and darker than others? I do not have the answer to that question. There are too many variables in the question and it changes from case to case, from situation to situation, from choice to choice. But it’s not wise to fight alone (a priceless lesson I’ve learned through my dark days) and NEVER EVER, give up.
I’m happy to inform you that I’m two mercury fillings lighter since Wednesday and have noticed right away an increase in energy and better cognitive response. I do have a 100.0 fever today, but this is the least dramatic response I’ve had since I began dental work. I steer my own ship fiercely ahead in my intimate relationship with God and my close circle of friends towards full recovery and health and I never stop praying for you (even those who hurt me). A complete recovery requires forgiving your very self and walking in a balanced mental state (Philippians 4:8).
The questions thus should change from: Why is this painful road so long? To: Who will I walk this road with? From: Why is it so dark, at times? To: Who will show me the light when I’m too weak to see it myself? From: Why is this road of suffering so lonely? To; Who is my truest friend? Then, thank God for your friend. And finally, from: Why me? To; Who will I help once I’m on the other side. These alternative questions are not intent on diminishing your own suffering, they’re meant to give us prospective and something to look forward to.
God has never guaranteed me a certain number of days on this earth, but he guarantee to walk along-side me all the days I have the privilege to live on this earth.