„Nu am eșuat. Tocmai am găsit 10.000 de lucruri care nu funcționează.” -Thomas Alva Edison
Ești în mijlocul viziunii tale și pare că nu există o îndrumare clară, prea multe uși se închid și drumul către succes este atât de obositor și copleșitor? Am trecut și eu pe acolo. Într-un fel, încă sunt pe drumul meu către sănătate, încă învăț și încă lupt. Dar cu mult mai multe resurse și speranță 🙂
Nu ai eșuat, pur și simplu ai găsit multe moduri prin care mersul tău către viziunea ta nu funcționează, încearcă din nou și din nou și din nou până când ajungi la final. Succesul vine cu 10% inspirație și 90% transpirație, mai multă frustrare decât sărbătoare și multă determinare chiar și atunci când lucrurile par sumbre. Opreștete doar când ai încercat absolut totul și chiar și atunci pleacă cu zâmbetul pe buze pentru că ai învățat atât de multe! O cantitate neprețuită de înțelepciune se află acum în tine și nu ești un eșec. Mi-aș dori să fiu acolo cu unii dintre voi – am doar o dorință către anumite viziuni, nu toate, dar mulțumesc lui Dumnezeu pentru că încercați și reușiți în chestiuni cu care nu m-aș deranja niciodată – pe câmpul de luptă, dar nu e timpul meu încă. Momentan sarcina mea e de a mă recupera, de a mă vindeca și de a te susține pe tine, cel care este în mijlocul acțiuni. Și îmi place să te încurajez! Ești atât de puternic/ă și curajos/ă, atât de imaginativ/ă și dăruitor/oare, atât de strălucitor/e și minunat/ă creație a lui Dumnezeu. Deci, nu te lasă! Vorbesc despre cei care depun eforturi și fac sacrificii pentru a-i ajuta pe cei care au nevoie de ajutor.
Faptul că încerci, demonstrează că nu ești un eșec, ci un visător, un vizionar:) Minunat!
Nu ai o viziune? Nu știi care este scopul tău? Ia un moment și liniștește-ți inima și sufletul. Privește în inima ta. Ce îți place să faci? Cum poți ajuta alții cu acea pasiune pe care o ai în interior? Începe de acolo. Acea pasiune a fost pusă acolo cu un motiv. (Nu vorbesc despre pasiunile autodistructive, acestea sunt așa cum am menționat: autodistructive).
Pentru acele cazuri „fără speranță”, ei nu au nevoie de o viziune momentan, mai degrabă trebuie să învețe cum să-și recunoască valoarea ca ființă umană nu în ochii presei sau a site-urilor sociale, ci în lucrurile care contează. Majoritatea tinerilor trebuie să învețe ce înseamnă sacrificiul, ce este sacrificiul? Ce înseamnă să-ți pese de altul? Ce este compasiunea? Ce este răbdarea? Ce este valoarea umană? Și îi putem învăța nu impunând reguli, nu cedând fiecărei capricii egoiste, ci fiind exemple mari de o dragoste reală față de o altă ființă umană, față de animale și față de natură.
“I Have Not Failed. I Have Just Found 10,000 Things That Do Not Work.” -Thomas Alva Edison
Are you in the midst of your vision and it seems like there’s no clear guidance, too many doors are closing, and the road to success is so utterly tiresome and overwhelming? Been there. In a way, I still am on my road toward health, I’m still learning and I’m still fighting. But with far more resources and hope:)
You haven’t failed, you simply found many ways that your walk towards your vision does not work, try again, and again and again until you arrive. Success comes with 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration, more frustration than celebration, and lots of determination even when things look grim. Only walk away when you tried absolutely everything and even then walk away with a smile on your face for you have learned so much! A priceless amount of wisdom lays within you now and you are not a failure. I wish I could be there with some of you- I only have a drive towards certain visions, not all, but thank God for you all out there trying and succeeding in matters I would never bother with- on the battlefield, but it’s not my time yet. My time now is to recover and heal and cheer you from the sidelines. And I love cheering you on! I love encouraging you! You are so strong and brave, so imaginative and gifted, so utterly brilliant and marvelous and wondrous creation of God. So go team! I speak for the people putting in the effort and sacrifices trying to help those needing help.
The fact that you’re trying, it proves that you are not a failure, but a dreamer, a visionary:) Awesome!
You don’t have a vision? You don’t know what your purpose is? Take a moment and quiet yourself. Look within your heart. What do you love to do? How can you help other people with that passion you have within? Start there. That passion was put there for a reason. (I’m not talking about the self-destructive passions, those are as I mentioned: self-destructive).
For those “hopeless” cases, they don’t need a vision yet, they need to recognize their value as human beings, not in the media’s eyes, or social sites’ likes but in the things that matter. Most young people have to learn what it means to sacrifice, what is sacrifice? What does it mean to care about another? What is compassion? What is patience? What is human value? And we can teach them not by imposing rules, not by giving in to their every selfish whim, but by being great examples of real love towards other human beings, animals, and nature.
2a: one who lives in a world of fancy and imagination
b: one who has ideas or conceives projects regarded as impractical: VISIONARY– Mirriam Wester
Another Definition- A swim in the land of fairy tales while floating in a boat made of rose petals, diamonds, and joy, as love drops fall ever so softly everywhere. Our true love bows down constantly with an awe-struck look plastered for eternity on its face worshiping our being. They can read our minds, and fulfill every whim realizing we’re never wrong. Because it is all about us and a tiny bit about them they seem totally okay with that.
1: a person who recognizes what is real or possible in a particular situation: one who accepts and deals with things as they really are.
2: a person (such as a writer or painter) who adheres to a style of realism by representing things in a way faithful to nature or to real life Chekhov was essentially more of a realist than Dostoevski, whose force often lay in a strong proclivity to melodrama …— Roger Shattuck
Another Definition: He/She snores next to you while drooling as a baby cries in the next room. You’re too exhausted to get up the 10th time and your eye bags have eye bags, your body is melting from so much fatigue and you’re brain turned into mush a long time ago, yet he’s/she’s not going to get up so you have to do it again. Your body odor has its own character by now, your finances left for a holiday a long time ago and your decorator’s name is”It will do”.
You remember dreaming to be married for a long time while you were “strongly encouraged” by others to do so and now you’re wondering “why did no one tell me about this part?” He/she brought their problems along to keep company to your problems but that’s not working out too well. While dating you thought you died and went to heaven, instead, now the bills are piling up on your coffee table, the dirty laundry pile never seems to take a long hike, and you keep hearing the echoes of your past self. You manage to pull your mental energy together enough when you’re in public but once home you let it spill all over the floor.
Maybe you thought you were more briliant only to find you’re less briliant than you wanted to be, maybe you thought your were prettier until you saw someone prettier than you and put fear in your soul that he/she will find a better choice, maybe you thought you were funnier until you laughed so hard your tummy hurt to another’s joke and compared how little response you got to yours, maybe you thought your house was nicer than another’s, then you got invited into another’s mansion and you gasped with both utter amazement and deep envy and instantly you felt drab, maybe you thought the boy would worship you beyond the dating and long into the marriage only to find his bored eyes glass over you and through you as if you didn’t exist as he got lost again into his mental nothing box, and for fundamental Christian’s once you purchased a man you can’t return him because he’s damaged, or malfunctioning and now the slow realization that you’re stuck with a less than ideal version of your Fabio version is sinking in your heart and a part of you dies a little. Maybe your prince is less holy than you wanted, more holly or not at all, and by gosh I wanted a different version and I got an imitator! I don’t know which of these are true if any, but your dreamer self, fell off the horse of happily-ever-after and hit her/his bum on the reality soil. Now what?
Nothing much. You’re growing up! You’re learning to be an adult and living with another human being. You must adjust your expectations.
Usually, a dreamer marries a realist. Yin and yang. An introvert and an extrovert. A pessimist and an optimist. A future-focused with a past-focused. Boring and fun. It’s a cross-pollination really.
We all have a before idea and we all end up working with an after version rooted in reality.
As my daughter and her boyfriend explain: Before. I had it down! I had all the key ingredients to make it work but soon I found out they were not the right ingredients, so I had to go buy new ones.
After: It’s not just about how I treat them. It is about who I am all the time. How I think, my hobbies, behavior, my whole individual self outside my interaction with my partner. I thought I was great before I met him/her. But after, he/she brought out of me all my insecurities which shocked me to find out I had any to begin with, and now I must do the work to confront these insecurities. Selfish people will walk away, they will always find an excuse not to put in the work. Unless there is real physical and emotional abuse people should not walk away from commitment.
And as we age and the more we learn we realize the less we know.
Examples of dreamers that achieved something:
Our founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, attributed the philosophy contained within the Declaration of Independence to their dreams
Albert Einstein ascribed the theory of relativity to a dream he had as a young boy
Thomas Edison credited his discovery of electricity to his dreams
Colonel Harold Dickson made history’s biggest oil discovery (which later became the Kuwait Oil Company) based on guidance illumined in his dream
Elias Howe sourced his invention of the sewing machine to his dreams
Dr. Frederick Banting discovered insulin in his dream—and won a Nobel Prize
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was inspired by her dream/nightmare
A dream led Otto Loewi to a Nobel Prize for his contribution to medicine
Mendeleyev beheld the complete periodic table in his dream
The planet Uranus was discovered by William Herschel in a dream
Stravinsky, Wagner, and Beethoven heard musical compositions, from fragments to entire canons, in their dreams
Bob Dylan composed music from his dreams
Paul McCartney praised his dreams for his multi-platinum song, Yesterday
Jeff Taylor dreamed of his patent for Monster.com
The movie, Avatar, was dreamed in vivid detail by director, James Cameron
The Twilight series was dreamed by stay-at-home-mom, Stephenie Meyer…and the list goes on…
Examples of realists that achieved something: As I Googled, it came up mostly as a Realism Paintings style. But these great artists were dreamers.
So we need dreamers, they are the ones who can imagine a better world beyond the one we see.
In summary, all the young dreamers out there, not yet in a relationship (most likely will not be reading this post) walk with your eyes open into the reality of a relationship by understanding that a lot of surprises await you along with a lot of work, compromise, and sacrifice. But it’s worth it.
Now go have fun with your opposite and stop bickering over small and useless issues.
The most dangerous thing for a woman is to be single because she’ll end up scared, and without kids. Women love little people. Not all of them, but only some, they also like sparkly things too but as a Christian that’s Bad. You have to be okay watching other people have sparkly stuff. Once a woman gets married to a godly man she never has to worry about being alone, or bored. She will have to put up with the sex, but Sherry tolled me that it’s not too bad and you can tell him you have a headache and it will work out. She’s 17 and knows everything, she’s really smart.
When a woman does not get married, bad things happen. Like Joan of Arc, she was so scared she made herself a sword and since the men didn’t want to marry her she joined them in the army. It’s like the best buddy guard option ever, and it’s free.
So how do you get a Christian man to marry you? Like in the Bible times?
The Christian Husband Store is also called Home Depot and Lowes. There are two stores. So it’s good. Food is the key. So women must know how to cook pizza and Mexican food, so the men follow the smell and they marry them on the spot. Cook a pizza and go to Home Depot or Lowes, around 5pm, the men are very hungry and tired so they will not notice you have no make-up. Sherry said some of her friends got men like that. Make-up is Bad. You don’t want to be a Jezebel, do you? She was Very Bad!
In your bed:
If he is not married to you: Very Bad
If he also has another wife: Very, Very Bad.
If he is your husband: Good. Now you have to smile, he likes that.
Men like to climb things and show how brave they are so you must walk by construction sites and smile. If they see you happy to see them all dirty they will marry you. But make sure they are not married already cause that’s VERY BAD.
They hang around in church, usually with the Bible in their hands. They are shy so you have to be brave. And smile. But your clothes have to cover all your lady parts, otherwise is Very Bad! If they start to get old, they will want to marry you quick. Some of the men like little people too. So there’s only a certain time to make them. They also like you to be pretty but very quiet, men like women who don’t speak. Sherry tolled me. Cause they take lots of naps and stuff.
If you are Baptist, go to Home Depot. If you are reformed, go to Office Max. If you are Charismatic, go to a Big Fife, they like Big TVs. If you like big TV’S too they’ll marry you. If you are a Catholic, go to Lowes.
We’ll I found my husband, he got off a bus with tight jeans on and I was like really red and thought: gosh, o golly. But then he was the one that pursued me as the Christian fashion calls so in the end, it was all good. But this article is to help you find one.
M-ati intrebat sa scriu despre asteptarile unei visatoare in casatorie inainte si dupa. Voi pune un acent de moldoveanca din cand in cand ca-i si mai haios asa si hai sa radem impreauna, sa facem haz de necaz.
Inainte de nunta cand nu mai putem di iubire si credem ca al nostru print e cel mai chipes di pi lume;) Cantec
Si dupa ….ehhh atunci ajungi sa-l cunostem noi pe Hristos cel mai bine.
“De aceea bărbatul își va lăsa tatăl și mama și se va alipi de soția lui, iar ei vor fi un singur trup.”Genesa 2:24
Ce zice Biblia? Dar mai du-te tu de la mama-ta si tata-tu ca si asa au platit astia destul pentru tine si le trebuie o pauza si uneste-te cu ala care l-ai luat si ai crezut ca-i Fat Frumos, si face-ti-va casa, cumparati-va lucruri, face-ti si copii ca prea bine dormiti voi amu fara ei, si pe urma sa vedeti voi cum albiti imediat si toate visurile de fericire pana la adanci batranete vi se vor pune in incurcatura, iara pentru fetele visatoare nu va face-ti voi probleme dragele mele un an de casatorie sau doi si vi se lecuieste tendinta de a visa imediat!
Articolul asta nu-i pentru cucoanele care au viata perfecta, e pentru tinerele visatoare care cred ca maritisul va rezolva totul. (Si aicea ma abtin de la ras).
Din experienta mea personala am vazut ca tratamentul cel mai bun si rapid pentru o visatoare este casatoria! De preferat cu un caracter exact opus tie, care sa-ti impinga toate butoanele emotiilor si a mintii. Haoleu! Sa vezi ce rapid cazi pe pamant! De nu te lecuiesti! Garantat.
Okay Carmen, dar mesajul tau nu e incurajator si nu mi-l place.
Maica draga daca vrei sa ai o viata fara stres ai aterizat pe planeta gresita. Amu hai sa vedem cum sa invatam sa infruntam aceste nevazuri care ne sunt garantate (Ioan 16:33) ca sa trecem mai avantajos peste ele.
Fat Frumos al tau se beseste, sforaie, isi lasa hainele murdare pe jos, uita sa-ti cumpere flori, nu te baga in seama cand vorbesti, si asteapta sex de la tine mai tot timpul. Concluzie: Nu e Fat Frumos. E un om oarecare care a pretins. In realitate e imperfect si are multe de invatat. Si tu ai multe de invatat. Mai ales rabdare.
Vei deveni prietena buna cu Dumnezeu garantat! Vin copii, necazuri, grasime pe corp, riduri pe fata, parul cade, burta creste, si necazur tot sporeste- am fost inspirata- scuze. La fel si al tau se va extinde mai mult lateral si uite asa viata asta aduce mult excess in anumite aspecte.
E nevoie sa gasesti o prietena- e bine daca mama ta va deveni si prietena ta- ca sa-ti versi amarul, nu de alta dar ca sa nu-ti omori barbatul si copii cand da tarcoale ispita. Ei inga, toti am trecut prin ispite. Mai ales atunci cand e ziua ta si a uitat boul sa-ti aduca flori si o ciocolata…ai Doamne! De vrei sa traiesti fugi de acasa! Revii peste o saptamana! Auzi?
Amu ca m-am calmat, despre ce vorbeam? Ahh… cum infrunti tu ispitele astea? Tre sa ierti mult si o sa fie mai usor cu varsta cand vei incepe sa suferi de Alzeimer’s. Mult mai usor! Garantat!
Tre sa graiesti clar cu omu tau, ca de multe ori nu pricepe, si tre sa ii explici limitele tale. Toti avem limite. De exemplu: Daca te mai holbesti la sanii altor muieri nu-i vei mai vedeam pe ai mei veci! Clar? Pai ce inseamna asta? Ai zas ca esti om crestin cand te-am luat, ai uitat ca esti crestin?
Uita-te in oglinda si realizeaza cateva lucruri: reflectia ta e aceea a unei femei capabila de orice. Capu sus, concediaza gandurile negative (Matei 6: 21-23 ; in loc de ochi spunem, gandurile) si da-ti seama ca pentru un barbat cea mai sexy parte ar trupului tau este zambetul. O femeie cu un zambet larg devine foarte atractiva sotului. Si lasa-le in colo de vase murdate ca te vor astepta si maine tot acolo unde le-ai lasat. Mai bine petrece timp pozitiv cu sotul si daca comenteaza ca-ci casa nu-i curata dezbraca-te la pielea goala si va uita de toate necazurile lui.
Umorul! E foarte important in viata si in relatie. Razi! (Proverbe 17:22) Si uita tristetea, frica, si necazul. Razi!
Voi continua cu versiuni in limba engleza in urmatoarele bloguri- vor fi diferite de ceea ce am scris azi- dar inainte de a incheia, vreau sa va doresc o zi binecuvantat si sa-i multumesc lui Dumenzeu pentru sotul meu care desi imi impinge butoanele nu stiu ce as face fara el:)
What happens when our prayers for a miracle do not bring the miracle? Usually, disappointment shows up. Some doubt. At times hope fades and anger rises. Eventually, we accept the new version of our lives which is a less desirable one. But when questions or doubts or judgments or criticism are shoved our way by others we feel like complete failures. You know the type of doubts: Did you pray? For how long? How hard? Did you really believe it? The sin in your life must be the size of a whopping Big Mac if you’re not healed yet. The sins of your father are the size of an entire Mcdonald’s. Your mother’s sins are the size of a whole fast food franchise! Have you lost your vision? What about your focus? Is this a spiritual battle? A medical one? Both? Is the problem in the body? Mind? Spirit? All three? Devil vs God? Health, vs disease? Well, vs unwell. It is Karma? Jesus does not like me. Or Budhha, or Muhammad so on. Do I even deserve to get better?
You’re not alone in this madness, for this is a form of unsettled madness. We all do it, whether we believe in a god or not. You blame yourself, your ancestors, your genes, your spouse, the system, and even your pet and all this does for you is inflate the scale of the burdens you already feel weighed down by. When no amount of meditation, magic tea, or the right treatment brings you relief, then desperation crawls into your soul and does not want to leave. And that’s when fellow believers should crack their knuckles and see how they could help, but for many, quite the opposite happens. These fellow believers deliver the harshest of blows with their judgments and views.
We’ve all done it, myself included but when we’re at the receiving end it stinks. It makes us feel guilty. Defensive. Like we did something wrong. Like we messed up. And maybe some of us did mess up. Maybe some of us do need a radical change. I needed one. Not in my diet, or lifestyle. Those were fine for the better part. I needed a radical change in my mind, my thoughts. I needed to stop hating myself, to learn to believe that I was loved by other people, that I was worth everything in God’s eyes. But learning that we have value and we’re enough just the way we are is a hard lesson in reality.
But you asked me: How do you deal with fellow Christians doubting you are sick? Making everything sound like it’s your fault and the Devil you let in, which is also your fault?
Mama mia! How indeed? It’s hard to answer this question. Why? Because each of us is constantly oscillating between giving unwanted advice or being on the receiving end of such unwanted advice. So how do we go about this?
I have come to the conclusion that one must focus on its own healing and let the other’s voice be like a distant echo in your life. Grab what helps, and let go of anything else. Easily said right? Hard to do.
I’ve also come to believe that our doubts in self-healing powers ( faith that God died to heal you, remember?) and self-care- body-soul and spirit- are at the root of most of our suffering. I really believe the majority of humanity is suicidal. At least they have suicidal behavior. Let me explain: we’re killing ourselves -what does the Bible say about suicide?- with a toxic diet, a toxic environment, a toxic mind, and toxic beliefs. We are committing suicide. We are the slow suicides. Our methods differ slightly from a typical suicide attempt and we’ve lied to our conscious for so long about how our lifestyle is fine that we no longer see the metaphorical knife in our hands. I know this is a touchy subject for some of you who’ve had family members or friends that committed suicide, so I do apologize. There’s zero intent to make light of this situation, quite the opposite. People of all faiths are struggling with depression. It is a fact. Another fact is the medical research showing the imbalance happening in the body of those suffering from depression. In reality, we ALL have some sort of mental instability, but some are better at hiding it than others. We’re struggling one way or another, but some choose not to focus on their imbalance by challenging another’s imbalance. Bad move. That person you’re challenging could be one second away from giving up. But why is mental illness so taboo? Especially since it’s obvious that prescribed pharmaceutical drugs have such dark side effects and push far too many into the darkest side of life. This is not a Jesus thing, or Budhha, or anyone other than humans. This is a human thing. We pollute the land, the waters, the air, the food, the soul, and the mind. We’re responsible so next time when someone is struggling with depression stop telling them they need Jesus and make sure they get help in a good detoxification program meant to help the body, soul, and mind. You haven’t helped one bit with your “you need Jesus” statement. It is a cop-out to keep you from actually helping the one suffering. I do that too at times, maybe because I’m in a hurry, maybe because I don’t feel like helping, blind to the inner struggles of the other and forgetting for a moment the importance of human life. I think of Robin Williams, a great actor, and comedian who struggled but kept going until one day when it became too much. Or Mother Teresa, a woman who helped so many less fortunate but very important human beings while dealing with her own deep struggle with depression. Both Robin and Teresa focused on helping others in different ways. I really believe helping others is what gives us the strength to fight our own battles. It reminds us we’re not alone in our pain, it connects us with our human brothers and sisters.
I find the biggest tragedy in our lives is that we’re too noisy in our heads and in our hearts to really see the truth beyond the physical aspect, blind to that pure and honest beauty some of us call God. I also find it criminal when we hurt others in the name of this existence/God, believing that its character is as dark as ours, and completely missing the ignorance and falsehood of our own beliefs.
Luke 18:8 NIV
However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”
I believe it’s not about our inability to have faith or believe in something wonderful, I believe we live in a noisy world, a deafening noise in our own minds and body that blocks and/or hinders the whispers of this wonderful existence beyond, an existence some call it Christ, but it really has many names.
I close with this: I wish I had the cure or the answer. I don’t. We have to work together to find the answer and I really believe this answer and many others lie in the action of caring for each other.
Books I love and recommend to help with finding the inner strength to take your healing to a next level:
-Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza and “You are the placebo” by the same author
-The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
-The Book of Joy with Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
This post does not address the cruel, sick people out there who simply love to hurt someone else and need some serious rehabilitation. This is about everyday people.