Read parts 1-5 to context.
The book I’ve been quoting from in this mini-series tells us how we became unbalanced: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsey C. Gibson, PshyD. I will not focus on that aspect any longer. It’s too hard, too sad and I’ve walked long enough on that path. I want to focus on how we conquer the wrongs which happened to us at one point or another in the past. (Keep in mind that healing takes time, don’t allow others to pressure you in their way or idea of how your healing should happen or its timing. However, don’t use the past pain as an excuse to live in a victimization world of anger where you hurt others.)
That being said lets talk about rebalance. The video I shared above is awesome and I would encourage you to listen to it when you have a moment.
What is the one thing you’ve done wrong in the past that doesn’t help you to move on and live the happy life you dream or hope for?
Mine was guilt. Un unbalanced sense of guilt over every action I took in life- be that good or not. As a consequence I became my worst nightmare. My own prosecutor and judge, sentencing my every cell to labor camp. How about you?
How do I rebalance from that? I look at the root cause, but to get to the root cause I had to peel many layers. Have I fully found the root cause? Not sure, but I don’t seem to care about it any longer. My new focus and desire is to continue to enjoy life as I am at the moment. This means that along my road to finding the cause I found one important and vital element missing in my life- forgiveness. I lacked forgiveness towards my self and others. While dying a motherly presence as I can only account it as a hallucination due to being so close to death, a hallucination non-the-less beautiful I knew it was Godly, stayed by my bed side and taught me some things I desperately needed to learn. How much value I actually have in this universe of ours and how worthy of love I was. Not sure how it happened by forgiveness came as a result of it without any effort.
How will you go about believing that you too matter more than life itself? I’m not sure but read, read, read, pray, meditate and ask yourself one question: Are you truly 100% bad? It’s impossible for someone to be 100% bad. This is from a scientifically and factual point of view. Impossible! And a second question equally important: What if you have been wrong thinking that you were bad or not valuable all these years? What if? What if you are actually the opposite?
These two questions began my journey towards healing. It was hard to accept, let alone believe that I could be good and that I was worth forgiving, but I persisted. I kept asking myself when doubt came: What if I’m wrong? What if I’ve been blind all these years? Others see value in me, what if they were right?
It’s scary, right? Why not try? Why not believe? Why not balance the scale?
Is it selfish to take care of yourself? Coming up in Part 7.
Note: Other books you may be interested in reading: “the highly sensitive person’s guide to dealing with toxic people” by Shahida Arabi, MA
For those who need Bible versus as back up to what I wrote here today: Romans 12; Proverbs 4:23; Colossians 3:2; Romans 8:6; Philippines 4:8.