Last night my daughter had an emotional breakdown and as we tried to help her out it got worse. Chet and I sat dumbfounded, staring at each other, perplexed by our daughter’s accusations. She didn’t seem to be thinking clearly at all, accusing us of selfishness and being against her. It took a while for me to realize that sometimes, us girls, need to pour out our frustrations even if they don’t make any sense.
But today as I’m editing the Romanian version of my book, I came across a similar scenario, except I was the daughter and I had the same distrust towards my mother. She seemed so toughened up by the hardships of her life that expecting softness from her was unrealistic, even if very much desired. And some of my daughters’ words rang into my head: “I just need someone to listen and understand. I knew I wasn’t going to get it from you but in my delusion, I tried.” Have I become my mother in this regard? Don’t get me wrong, I love and very much admire my mother, but that does not mean everything was hunky dory. Have I allowed the hardships of my own life drain the softness right out of me? I may have. As I meditate at this new discovery, I pray I’ll find a way to undo some of this hardness and be able to listen to my own daughter and not rush into another life lessons. There are days we need understanding void of more life lessons.
My oh my, what do I mean by that? Well, here is my damage for today;
God took good care of me. Maybe my mama and daddy didn’t, maybe they did the best they could, BUT God who’s ultimately my greatest father did, he really did. God still takes care of me:) God’s been good to me! Amen
What’s your damage for today against the pain?
Today I ain’t feeling so good, which puts me into a contemplative state as I stare out at the walls:) I was wondering why we feel so awful when someone commits suicide, someone we either know and love or they’re complete strangers. Fun thoughts, right? You got your shortcomings and I got mine. Do you think that at some deep level we feel like we failed the one we lost? What about the fact that we just care for human life? I know I do. Well between my feverish self and nausea self, I checked Facebook and found out someone I knew back in Romania, died, which saddened me proving my theory of caring for another. Some of my extended family members in Italy are safe from the earthquake, and my brother Flavius who lost his roof is on his way back from Viena, eager to return on the 7th of September for a specialised endoscopy focusing on his pancreas and liver.
Well, I would much rather feel the loss of someone dear to me because I cared for them (God’s character in us) than walk this earth numb to the importance of life. Oh yeh! This is how a person recovering from Lyme gets a tan: (they call it vasculitis or something of that sort:))) Looks just a tad different than your usual suntan, doesn’t it;) Now, you go and have a great day and live life today for me too;) God Bless.
Besides the recent disaster with my brother Flaviu’s place in Romania (strong winds completely removed the roof from their home and most of their family possessions are ruined), my twin nieces are getting big and beautiful:) My son Merrill, started his new job at Amazon warehouse, my aunt Simona got married, we celebrated out 23d wedding anniversary with a great boat ride, I found out my grandma’s B-Day is the same day as our anniversary, my niece Hannah is healing up, my niece Sarh will celebrate their wedding anniversary, and I’m sure I forgot something:) Thank you God for your blessing on our lives.
I’m talking to one of my brothers right now, the same brother I asked your help in prayers, the same brother that’s been in and out of emergency for the past three years, the same brother that needs a second surgery in Viena next week, that one. An hour ago, in his city of Timisoara, right over his neighborhood, a huge storm took place with winds so strong it took the roof off of his home. Now, his wife Adina, their little two-year-old daughter and my brother are on the street, watching in horror as their material possessions are damaged from the rain water that entered inside. The danger of the whole structure collapsing in is quite high keeping them away. I would highly appreciate your support in prayers. Their names are Flavius, Adina, and little Raisa. Thank you:)
As I’ve mentioned previously, to recover takes time but it also takes a will to do so.
Part one- Crying is cleansing
Part two- Forgive
Part three- Keep your Focus. We all have moments of weakness. The danger lies when those moments of weakness become a lifetime long habits. Don’t obsess over losing your cool for a moment, make sure you don’t loose your focus on the things that matter for a lifetime. My own recovery is right on track and I do pray yours (if you’re in a recovery mode) is progressing well.
P.S. Look past ; Why did she have to post that video? Poor dear, she just needs a good night’s sleep. Maybe’s hormonal. I think she needs attention. You’re right, how can anyone humiliate themselves like that? And so public! And it looked like she was doing so well. Goes to show you, some days you’re up other days your down. Do you think she’s losing it? She’s always been a little odd… and off. It’s to be expected after all she’s gone through, you can’t hold it together all the time… so on and so forth.
Look past those thoughts or comments and focus on what you’re called to do in life, after all, we’re all a little odd and yet wonderful.
God bless you and we’ll talk soon:)