Our world and its influence on us

As you can see from the pictures below, we’re living in a bubble during the following renovations months.IMG_3392IMG_3485-1E2F020C0-7348-405B-BDA7-3606DA812B47

Due to asbestos and lead findings in the windows seals, the whole building, along with all the windows, has been fully wrapped in a protective white plastic sheet. At least it’s not black:) Even though it’s suffocating and unpleasant at least is a temporary inconvenience. In comparison to other people’s lives who have been ripped apart by all sorts of tragedies, this inconvenience is minuscule. So I’m greatful.

I find myself outdoors taking daily walks and on such walks, sometimes, I bond with neighbors. This morning I was talking to a retired female who used to work for the Post Office and lived in Seattle, where she was also born, most of her life. There were a few years back in the old days spent in Canada when she used to be married to her first husband, who happened to be a Canadian. She liked living there, mostly but found herself frustrated over a few of the socialistic perks, specifically health care. While talking about this and that she turned the conversation towards the politics. I understood the temptation since we just had mid-term elections on the 6th of November. I could swear that suddenly I was talking to my in-laws. She used the same terminologies and verbiage, the same quotes and so on. The thing is, my in-laws and this woman never met, to my knowledge, yet her words were eerily similar if not verbatim to those of my-in-laws when it came to her political point of view. I walked away knowing such verbiage was learned from TV news reports or newspaper articles, which reminded me how powerful the media is in shaping people’s minds. And that gives me a lot to ponder on regarding my personal thoughts and beliefs which I constantly evaluate and re-evaluate and change when needed because inevitably our world has an influence on us.

On a personal note, I have a part-time job now and it feels fantastic to get back into the swing of things. I’ve joined a book club as well and being part of the community around me is good not only for the soul but for the body as well. Small steps, giant accomplishments:)

Chet’s B-day, yesterday, was a happy event celebrated in the intimacy of our family:) Next week we’ll be celebrating my beautiful girl Meleah’s B-day:) I can’t believe she’s turning twenty-two years old. Time sure flies when you’re having fun, or even when you’re not having fun:)))

Merrill moved in about three months ago and we’re complete again, even if a little cozy in the small apartment. I would much rather have it this way.

Happy with our lives, thankful to God for health, peace, and love. I hope you’re doing well. (For the Lyme sufferers or all other autoimmune disease sufferers, keep on fighting because there is light at the end of the dark and most days unbearably painful season you find yourself in now. Psalm 23 rescued me.)

God bless:)

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Gut Level Cognition

Have you ever had a gut feeling that you ignored and later on ended up regretting your decision? I’ve experienced that many times.

Emotions affect our gut feeling and our gut feeling affects our emotions. More precisely our bacterial health in the guts and neurologic signaling to the brain are affected by our emotional status controlled by fear, anger, stress, happiness, joy, etc. It either sends too many signals overloading and/or fatiguing the brain and body or sends miss-signals such as bad memories which are no longer happening but did so at one point in time, creating a perpetual state of alarm in the entire body and mind, such as the case in PTSD.

I’ve come to the conclusion, and I may be repeating myself here, that unforgiveness over past hurts, people and the decision of holding on to past painful emotions results in a weakened immune system, sometimes to a collapsing point. The good news, however, lays in body regeneration: every minute million if not billions of our cells die and new ones are born, but here’s the trick to keep in mind: cell memory. Cells have memories and will take the memory of the dying cell and continue the work until they too die and the new ones take over and so on. Do you see the pattern? In order to really heal, you have to retrain a new cell, build a new memory so to speak to the level of health you want those new cells to be. How? Start by imagining yourself healthy, or how you functioned when you were healthy and hold on to that. Talk to your body! I know, I used to find this step ridiculous until I realized that I was already talking to my body and have been for years telling it things like I don’t like my hair type, eye color, or fat content, breast size, butt size or stomach bulge. So reverse that speech. That being said, keep in mind to be realistic and okay with the body type you have, esthetic wise and focus on inner cellular health, for proper healing. After all, God gave each and every one of us our unique characteristics and we’re not meant to be a mass manufactured doll duplicates looking all like a blue-eyed, blond hair, big boobs, and butt girl do. I have girlfriends of all skin pigmentations, shape, size and age and I’ve learned good things from all of them. When I look at them I see the character before the body, yet the body and character unite to make the person precisely who they are. When I feel insecure I must remind myself that’s my own inner self-problem, a problem based on something I was at one time told with the intent to either hurt me, deflate from another’s pain, or share/spread one’s misery. A happy person simply can’t spread misery.

Another way to heal is by breathing. Just breath, and breath deeply. I realized only in my late 20s, at the suggestion of a naturopathic doctor, that I responded to any and all stressful circumstances by holding my breath. That’s how I coped back in my childhood while witnessing innumerable moments of trauma. We all have our own coping mechanisms, what’s yours?

These are more suggestions, I’m sure, but I’ll stop here, processing the few ideas I’ve put down in this blog is enough for now. Some illnesses are so far gone down a diseased road that complete healing may not be available yet. I do believe our bodies have the ability to heal in its entirety from all and any type of illness and disease, but I also believe we’re not there yet, knowledge-wise or belief-wise. Do all you can to heal yourself and envision such healing. I will not lie to you, it’s not easy when you’re not used to thinking that way but it’s possible.

 

My latest treatment:

NeuroCalm (Designs by Health brand, found on Amazon for around $54, and works fantastic for calming my nervous system),

CranActin (by Solaray, found on Amazon for $13.30/120 pill count, and it works fantastic for any urinary tract health, prevention or treatment),

MegaFlora for Women (by MegaFood, a probiotic supplement that supports Vaginal and Urinary Tract Health, Amazon for $43),

Quercetin (by Vital Nutrients, Amazon for $29, this is for respiratory and sinus, histamine support) + Bromelain (I take Bromelain and Quercetin together, By Jarrow Formulas, a pineapple enzyme that helps with inflammation reduction, Amazon $20),

Fungal Defend Tincture (By the Herbalist, Amazon $18, self-explanatory) Herbal-Biotic Tincture (The Herbalist, Amazon $18, promotes quick immune response),

Magnezium Malate (By Source Naturals, Amazon $15, supports muscle and energy production) and finally

Pro-Gest cream (By Emerita, natural progesterone due to pre-menopause lower levels of progesterone, Amazon $25, add a pearl size drop on the skin at night).

Most, if not all of these supplements are gluten-free, vegan, Non-GMO excellent brands products. Gluten-free, dairy-free, no processed foods or refined sugar diet.

For those who have time and interest, this is a great medical video. Speaker is Gabor Mate, a doctor, on “How emotions affect our cognitive functioning”.

God Bless:)

ER Trip

I know, I know, I’m getting tired of these ER trips as well, but yesterday, March 25th, that’s where I ended up again after I was woken up at 4 am with severe pelvic pain.

An hour and a half later we were in the ER where the seizure medication I was given intravenously helped me regain my speech (slurped speak, among other symptoms- if interested the home page has the details) and visual focus.

I’m extremely grateful I’m alive and we keep on going with all the good, bad, and everything in between. Chet was amazing, yet again, through the whole ordeal, since I couldn’t talk really well and mostly out of it.  I pray that God will give him health and strength forever. My son Merrill, who was visiting us came along as well, and I hope he wasn’t too freaked out seeing his mother seizing like that. But he’s a strong young man and I’m so very grateful to God for my entire family. People are what matters in this world, not material things. People.

God Bless.

 

Exercise and Autoimmune Disease

I’ve expressed in my last post of my desire to write more. Don’t you know by now that most New Year Resolutions are simply a “to do” list for the first week of January:)))))

I have been writing more, in fact, two hours a day on my new fiction adventure novel called “Finding Home”, but enough about that.

New Year brings out the “health nut” portion of ourselves, usually for a couple of weeks for most and a bit longer for others (unless your “health nut” person is out all the time having fun running, in that case, this may only be one of those easy reads for you). The “health nut” usually tends to go right back into hibernation for the better part of the year. It may have a few breaks now and again.  It will come out in full and temporary feverish mood, usually before summer for that amazing bikini look, or before a wedding when you want to look better than the bride herself.

I began my yoga exercise again, after a nice break of six months. Breaks are necessary too, especially when one fights an autoimmune disease. In fact, I must be going through something this very moment because I’m misspelling every single word as if my brain would rather sleep instead of think.

The yoga program I followed for more than ten years now is a Canadian based program called “Namaste” Yoga Practice by Kate Potter. It used to be a television program, maybe still is, but its the only exercise routine I stuck with all these years. I’m not a believer in the spiritual side of the yoga practice, I simply like its smooth moves and relaxing way of moving the body. I tried all sorts of other programs before this one, programs more rigorous, and found them downright annoying.

Anyone fighting Chronic Lyme, Cancer, MS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia to name only a few of the autoimmune diseases, does not have the energy most days to take a shower, or go up and down their own home’s stairs, let alone exercise. In most of these cases, any and all energy present in the body, it is wisely distributed towards activities such as doctor appointments, dinners, laundry, lunches for the kids and maybe sex with your spouse. However, when these diseases are in remission the fun begins. I remember celebrating the walk to my own mailbox, which progressed to being in the car when my husband drove to do the grocery shopping, to taking five, ten then twenty-minutes long walks, to playing tennis and now to driving small distances. Oh, the joy of stabbing one’s toe and crying happy tears because you actually felt that pain, where once used to be a tingling numbing spot.

Well now I’m stronger and I can do the complete 20-minute yoga program. I love the stretching part (although if you decide to start yoga don’t overstretch: it’s like the medication, you take a big dose and a Herx reaction is sure to follow, so build up to it slowly:), I love the smooth movements and the calming music (neuro damage is very often present in people who fight Lyme disease and overstimulating the senses is often very unpleasant, to say the least).

For all out there who are fighting these nasty diseases and live in pain why too much, if you can, yoga is a pleasant possibility of exercise. Mostly, I wish you the best of health so you can choose for yourself what type of exercise you want to do- no matter how strenuous.

Have a blessed new year full of hope and laughter, both are great medicine for the soul.

God Bless:)

 

 

When in pain, one writes

Yes, I’m in quite a lot of pain today, but don’t fuss, it will pass and life moves on. I figured since today it will be spent mostly in bed, I may as well write.

Long before I knew what a Solar Plexus was, I felt it. Every time my father yelled, I felt it. Every time my father hit one of us, I felt it. With every cry of pain, I felt it. With every criticism, I felt it.

Solar plexus aka Celiac Plexus aka Abdominal Brain – is a complex of ganglia (or network of nerves) and radiating nerves of the sympathetic system (fight and flight response) at the pit of the stomach.-Wikipedia

Heal this and you’ll heal adrenal problems, stomach problems, gall bladder problems, diaphragm problems, spleen problems and much more. (Chakras.info; solework.wordpress.com)

It took forty-two years for me to understand why every-time I was around other people I “saw” certain things about them – information that came in different forms such as: colors/lights, a string of clear yet seemingly unrelated images about that particular person’s life or that strong sense of danger/unease/happiness/relaxation one gets around certain individuals – affecting me one way or another, depending on what I “saw” or perceived. I also learned something else: Anytime I felt a perceived danger I would hold my breath. I was not aware I did that until one naturopathic doctor pointed it out. It was my way of coping with trauma or stressful circumstances. It began early in my childhood while witnessing a lot of my father’s abuse towards my siblings and my self. I held my breath. This happens when trauma or excessive stress is present in the early stages of childhood. It changes the structure of one’s DNA and neurological responses. Most people call such a result as “highly sensitive people”. Some are just born that way and no trauma was present, others develop this sensitivity forced by traumatic environments. In reality we’re all sensitive to pollutants/toxicity and stress. The difference is that some can shoulder these burdens better that’s others and it’s directly linked to a strong immune system versus not.

“That’s New Age talk, Carmen.” Some would say, after reading these lines. I was raised in a very strict conservative Christian environment (not all aspects of Christianity beliefs are wrong, but anything presented in a strict and extreme way is usually unhealthy) made to belief anything remotely related to New Age is evil. So I kept quiet about the things I “saw”/perceived knowing full well I would be accused of demon possession. I believe a lot of New Age theology comes from Biblical information but the movement added other things to it.

For forty- years, no stranger could get close to me without me feeling uncomfortable. Hugs to this day are hard for me and any conversation is done from a safe distance. If anyone violates that “safe zone” between us my flight or fight response super activates – although I lived only in a fight or flight response for years.  This has been medically proven by the tests I’ve had these past four years. My body could no longer relax. I’ve forgotten how.

Like a can of worms this perception exploded and jumped past few stages of teaching in massage school. I noticed certain things and had to ask my teachers for an explanation. Upon hearing the things I saw, my teachers simply responded with a genuine smile on their faces: “Carmen, you’ve got a gift.” I do? I thought to myself.

Example: I gave a massage to one of my teachers- which was not nerve-racking at all:)))- and I saw a shadow over her right hip and left knee. I knew instantly those areas were hurt. Without thinking I asked:

“What happen to your right hip and left knee?” She popped her head off the pillow in shock, only to realize she never told me anything about her personal life.

“How do you know about that?”

“I can see it.”

“What exactly do you see?”

“Dark gray shadows with a glow of pale yellow over these areas. I also see…” But she interrupted me, maybe because she didn’t want to find out a student can reveal more personal stuff about her.

“I had a bad car accident about ten years ago and those areas never healed properly.”

“Okay.”

Example: Had a lady on the massage table and I saw intense loss and grief all over her body. She was a good person, burdened by the disease of loss and sickness- a sickening yellow/olive color. I gently told her “all will be alright.” As we began talking I found out she lost someone very dear and just overcame cancer. She was also a bit frightened by all the things I could see so I stopped talking. In the end, she tolled me: “You have a gift.” She left and I never saw her again. I believe I may have frightened her for which I’m truly sorry.

The Solar Plexus is a sensitive spot but a powerful center of information. I’m not sure what made me the way that I am, but I was born with this. I’ve seen many things, most of them horribly dark stuff. Trauma, may have triggered something -this is a theory of mine- or I was born with a gift from God. Either way, I still have a lot to learn and I get things wrong as well.

One thing I’ve learned to do, is not let this gifting hinder my personal relationships, especially my relationship with Chet. Trust me, it took many years to learn how to and I’m still not an expert. But if I meet you and you’re going through something, and I will be allowed to see that, instead of allowing my heart to be broken by your hurt days in a row, I’ll be praying for you earnestly than let God and yourself do the healing in your own way and timing. I’ve learned I can’t be God and don’t want to. But I will be your friend.

I’ve tried to give you a small overview of the solar plexus but there’s so much more to it. For those interested, the internet is full of information on the subject. I hope this helped some of you and did not at least was an interesting read.

God Bless:)

 

 

Mercury dental fillings and chronic autoimmune disease

Is there a connection? The dentistry industry and western medicine doctors will tell you; no, there is not. However, they don’t have any answers to idiopathic diseases such as: CFS, Fibromyalgia, MS, Alzheimer’s, or the “fake” chronic Lyme Disease, to name a few.  They claim symptoms of CFS and Fybromyalgia to be part of a mental problem in the patient built up from a desperate need of attention -as if the patient wants to feel as horrible as they do, around the clock mind you, while isolated from the very community they once were part of. And all this done by choice. I would tell them today -to the ignorant doctors- as I tolled them in the past when they had the nerve to respond to a medical complaint in such a cold manner: if I want attention all I have to do is throw myself a great big party and invite all my friends. That would be an expense well worth it, instead of paying you to tell me that I may be crazy. You simply have no idea what’s wrong with me.

There are many articles and personal testimonies written by regular people (all over the internet) proving otherwise. These people have noticed a major change in their overall health after removing amalgam fillings (which have a 45-55% of mercury) out of their mouths. That can’t be just coincidence. Why are dentists trained to handle and dispense the amalgam materials as bio-hazardous material, if it was safe? And the government deems it fine in our mouths, close to our brains and our central nervous system. What would be the damage there, right?

Tomorrow I have another dentist appointment. After tomorrow I’ll be mercury free -as far as my teeth fillings go- in twenty something years. After I had four mercury fillings removed, all at the same time, about two months ago, I noticed, within hours the following: an extremely high amount of deja-vu’s and flash backs to my life back in Romania (and life before the mercury fillings, fillings which I received shortly after my arrival in United States). I felt as if air began moving in my head, predominantly in my left side (where I had four top fillings and two bottom fillings removed). Maybe some of you will think: well, Carmen that could be just you “feeling” a certain way based on some information you read. Well, within hours, I ran (even if for a minute or so- you must remember my muscles have been in a state of distrophy for almost four years now) after Alex, my youngest, while playing in a park close by our apartment. That has not happened in years! What I found interesting, was the instinct that kicked in to run and the body did so without thinking. I could not do that before, since I was in a fog like state around the clock. The periferral shadows that kept me in a constant jumpy state, disappeared. I haven’t seen them since. The fogged mind decreased 70% and my overall energy increased dramatically, to a point where I began to play tennis with my family-even if it was for ten minutes and it took a feverish week of recovery after that- but my body hasn’t experienced that kind of exercise in four years. I did have to go through the detox process, intensified by the extreme heat of this summer and continual fight of Lyme, Bartonella and Babesia flare-ups.

I do not pretend to tell you it was easy- it was not- but it was necessary and finally my immune system was strong enough to endure such a long ordeal (I began the dental work in spring).

Have I noticed a difference? Absolutely. Has my family noticed a difference? Absolutely. Am I 100% better? No. As much as I tell myself that I’m totally cured -an emotional and mental strategy of believing even if I’m not feeling 100% yet- it’s a much better approach toward my views of life than the pathetic advise of some of the doctors I’ve seen (all western medicine practitioners); You’re one of those unfortunate cases and you’ll have to just accept your new reality. The hell with that. I have another reality I keep telling them: I’ll be the 1% case to fully recover, you’ll see. And I walk away with a new battle strategy in my head. Our bodies can heal themselves if given the right info and opportunity. And that’s all there is to it- at least as far as I’m concerned. Will I die one day? Of course I will- unless I find out that I’m actually Wonder Woman. But should that keep me from fighting? I think not.

For all of you who hurt and battle, constantly, such horrible pain but are subjected to the lame medical excuses and remarks such as; I don’t see anything wrong with you (as if all the medical mysteries have been discovered already and they have all the answers), you fight back and tell yourself: I’ll be the 1% to fully recover! It is not easy, especially emotionally. When I saw myself so very ill and limited, without medical answers I had doubts too. It’s a very intense battle to not let go and let be, and most days feels like you’re stuck in a hopeless whirlpool intensified by the doctor’s ignorance and coldness towards you. But… there’s the will to fight and get better too:))))) And with that (and the belief in God, in my case:) you can climb the impossible mountain. Sure it takes effort. Sure it takes persistence. Sure it takes action. But it feels great when the pain subsides and your ghostly body gets up and out of the suffering bed and meets life, one step at the time.

Be the 1% too:)

God bless:)

God is much nicer than you think

“The most important decision we will make, is wether we believe this universe is friendly or hostile.”-Albert Einstein.

Let me ask you another question first: If there was no hell, would you still believe in God?

The answer should tell you something.

I began believing in God because I knew nothing else, as a child of Christian parents. I got hurt by Christian people, I got loved by Christian people, I hated the church because of Christian people- and for a period of time I believed it was because of God, thus I blamed God, and I got healed because of all kinds of people, Christians including. I should’ve been more mature and chosen to forgive for the sake of my own health, a long time ago. I didn’t. I paid for that with my own health- or absence of health- for few years. I’ve learned many truths and I’m great full. No, God did not allow this horrible disease in my life so I’ll learn a good lesson. What lesson would that be? I don’t believe that way. It’s like saying: “I’m going to allow my child to be very sick to the point of dying, so he’ll hopefully learn what’s good for him.” Only an angry parent would do and think like that. A loving parent would sit by the child’s bed, bringing comfort and soothing away the pain. That’s what the Holy Ghost did when I was very sick. He didn’t beat me down. He sat by my bed and brought me comfort and I could feel his pain seeing one of his child so very ill.

You see, what we think affects us on a DNA level, and we must pay attention and recognize our responsibilities. Fear, anger and hate will kill you. Stress will kill you. There are studies done by Dr. Maseru Emoto (YouTube) where he found that water particles in the presence of both positive and negative environments, then frozen, looked quite different. Same with his rice experiments: the rice over which he spoke love words was fine, the one he spoke hateful words was dying (mold) and the ignored rice never thrived. I’m sure some of you heard about these experiments before, yet, we seem to ignore such results, mostly because of unbelief. Our body is 60% water and our DNA changes based of how we speak to ourselves and what kind of environment we expose our bodies to. Believe me, we’re the ones that make ourselves sick more than anything else in this world, even genes.

There was an interesting case, were a family with cancer history- lived under that fearful fact- adopted a child who also got cancer soon after, despite the different genes. Why? Environment.

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”- Proverbs 23:7

Why is it that so many christians pray or profess faith in certain areas of their lives -or over other people- including health, but never see victory? Lack of belief. You or I may utter the Bible verse but see nothing improve. Why? Because we’re missing the emotion (you know that emotion you feel when you really believe something) or we feel the wrong emotions such as frustration, desperation, fear. Belief is exercised, just like any other muscle, so start where you are and build up. And never, ever give up.

When I laid in bed, very sick, besides a round-the-clock comfort, God showed me that by me refusing to forgive I damaged my DNA and my immune system, creating an acidic environment (of fear and bitterness) and a perfect play ground for disease.

When you fell in love, we’re you happy? Did the world looked better? The same world that maybe you hated right before you fell in love. Did you feel better? Did you have more energy? Why?

Our thoughts and words matter and the way we perceive our universe, God including, matters to how your body is going to respond.

Speak kindness and love towards you and others, because God is love and He’s already in you. He’s the light in your DNA and your blood, cleansing away all sickness. Just envision that.

God Bless:)