Month: October 2017

Oana Baby

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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Prima fotografie; 1993 Oana cu mine

A doua fotografie: Gemenle lui Oana si Alex, Sara si Rebeca

A treia fotografie: nunta:)

Numarul doisprezece si ultima, Oana e cea mai mica si nu conteaza cit de puternica arata pentru noi va ramine tot timpul “cea mai mica”:) Inca de mica, Oana a invatat foarte repede cum sa-l invirta pe tata, care avea o slabiciune fata de “febletea” lui si a folosit aceasta fara hesitatie. In episoadele “de furie” a tatalui Oana statea tacuta si la distanta, dar sint sigura ca nu i-a fost usor vazind fratii ei abuzati.

Din anii frageti ai adolescentei, Oana, fortata de absenta mamei, a luat rolul matern, spalind in casa, facind curat, facind mincare etc. A trebuit sa invete de mica sa-si impuna punctul de vedere si nu sa lasat calcata in picioare, dind instructii fratilor ei des. Oana este opinionata si stie ce vrea in viata.

Dupa liceu, Oana a lucrat pe o perioada scurta de timp ca chelnerita la un restaurant, dupa care a plecat in Italia/ Roma sa-si ajute sora mai mare, care lucra ore lungi si schimb de noapte dese ori ca asistenta medicala. Asa a avut Oana grija de copii lui Delia,  facind curat si mincare. Oana si-a dat seama ca viata domestica ca mamica si sotie e pentru ea. Prin aceeasi site “Pom Verde” Oana l-a intilnit pe Alex, si nunta a avut loc in 2014, o nunta la care nu am putut participa din cauza bolii.

Viata financiara dupa nunta a fost cam great, ceva tipic in Romania, si Alex si-a extins viziunea dupa loc de munca spre tarile straine din Europa. A gasit un post de munca in Germania, la Munchen si a fost fortat sa-si lase sotia insarcinata in Romania cu parintii lui, vazindu-se numai prin vizite rare.

Alin, care pina acum sa stabilit foarte bine in Ulm, Germania, la numai o ora de Munich, il vizita pe Alex cind putea. Cartierul sarac si primejdious in care locuia Alex cu alti romani, l-a facut sa-i caute urgent un alt loc de munca. I-a gasit unul in Ulm, si Alex sa mutat la Alin. Oana a venit si ea imediat. Citeva luni (cred ca patru) mai tirziu, Oana a nascut fete gemene, o raritate atit in familia noastra cit si in familia lui Alex. De fapt nu stim sa fi avut gemeni in neamul nostru sau a lui Alex. Cele mai fericite momente in viata lui Oana au fost atit la nunta ei, dar in deosebi cind si-a tinut in brate fetele dupa nastere. Alex, care a dorit fete in loc de baieti era in culmea fericirii. Alin era si el in culmea fericirii ca unchi, si privilejiul de asi vedea familia crescind in numar.

Dupa ceva timp Oana si Alex s-au putut muta la locul lor, intr-un apartament mare. Oana e o fata foarte harnica. Dar ca bucatar e pur si simplu extraordinar de buna, si burtile lui Alex si a lui Alin, care maninca la Oana aproape zilnic, cresc zilnic ca dovada:) Pe cit e ea de buna la mincare pe atit e de buna la a coace si a face deserturi.

Desi a avut numai un an cind eu am plecat din Romania si o cunosc maj mult din conversatii pe WhatsApp or prin vizitele facute in Romania, in trecut, am primit o doza mare de respect fata de ea cind am auzit ca era insarcinata cu gemeni. Instantaneu am stiut ca Dumnezeu a gasit-o atit vrednica cit si puternica sa fie mama a unui set de gemeni.

Sint mindra de surioara mea cea puternica, si ambitioasa, si le doresc o viata lunga si plina de fericire. Oana si Alex par tare fericiti cu familia lor mica:)

Iti multumesc Doamne asa de mult pentru niste frati si surori atit de buni si speciali:)

 

Oana the Baby:)

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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Number twelve, Oana is the baby and no matter how tough she presents herself, to us she’ll always remain the baby:) She’s the last one of the clan and my father’s weakness. Oana learned quickly how to work my father and did so without hesitation:) During his “angry episodes” she stayed away and kept quiet, avoiding getting hurt. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for her to see her siblings getting hurt, the way they did. Since early adolescence she became a mother figure in the house (since my mother lived mostly in Vilcele) taking care of the house, cleaning, washing, cooking and baking. She bossed her older brothers around any chance she had, standing up for herself or be left out in the dust. Oana learned at an early age to be tough and speak her mind- loudly:) She also had her older brothers there to protect her, if needed, which was a fantastic advantage.

After high-school Oana worked shorty as a waitress at a local restaurant, then went to Italy/Roma and helped out Delia, who worked long hours as a nurse putting long hours in. Oana took care of Delia’s children, cooked and cleaned. Eventually Delia found her a job taking care of an elderly lady, until she got married.

Oana met Alex, her husband, on the same Christian single site “Pom Verde” as her other brothers did with their spouses. The wedding was in 2014, a wedding I could not attend due to illness. Finding work, after the wedding, in Romania was tough and Alex looked for work outside their country’s borders. Eventually he found a job in Munchen, Germany and heavy hearted left a pregnant wife behind in Romania, seeing each other only through rare visits.

Alin, who lived on hour away, visited Alex when possible and upon seeing the shady neighborhood Alex lived in and the poverty level, Alin made its mission to find Alex another job. Eventually he did find one job in Ulm, Germany, and Alex moved in with Alin, able now to bring Oana there and reunite the family. Six months later they had twin girls, an excellent and positive surprise. You see, on either side of the families, we don’t have twins in the gene. The best moments in Oana’s life was holding her girls in her arms right after delivery and she fell instantly in love with her girls. Alex, who wanted girls over boys, got his girls:) Alin gained a family and young nieces as well:)

Eventually they were able to move into their own apartment and together they have a happy life. Alex works as a trucker and Oana loves being a mother and a housewife. Cooking and baking are her specialities and you can tell by the growing bellies of both her husband and Alin’s, who eats there almost daily:)

When I left, Oana was one year old and I only knew about Oana based on the information I received when I talked on the phone with my family or from the few visits we did to Romania. But I gained a lot of respect once I found out she was pregnant with twins. Somehow I saw that as a special blessing God put in her life. Seeing what a good mother and wife she is makes me a proud big sis and even though we haven’t spent a lot of face to face time together, I’m looking forward to do so in the future:)

What an awesome family I have:)

Thank you God for every singe one of my brother and sister:)

Fanu cel Puternic

/ Carmen McKnight / 2 Comments

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1991-2002

Moartea ne intilneste pe toti la un moment dat, si conteaza cum ii raspundem.

Fanu, scurt pentru Stefan, a fost ultimul baiat si numarul unsprezece in rindul clanului nostru. A intrat in lumea asta in Decembrie 1991 si a plecat mult prea curind din mijlocul nostru.

Fanu era o fire blinda si foarte darnica. Ochii lui mari si caprui erau plini de expresie si tenul deschis era parca de portelan. In aceste detalii a semanat mult cu Alin. Datorita virstelor apropiate dintre ei, Fanu si Alex petreceau mult timp impreauna, jucindu-se cu masinute sau fotbal in curtea apartamentului. O fire competitiva, Fanu lupta mult sa cistige, dornic de a deveni cel mai bun. Tot odata visa mult cum sa ajute cind pe unul cind pe altul. Copilaria lui a fost cit de cit normala, desi un pic umbrita de cruzimea tatalui. Zimbea usor, ridea cu pofta si ii placea glumele.

In primavara anului 2002, Februarie mai exact, Fanu a inceput sa aibe dureri de cap izolindu-se de ceilalti si evadind lumina. Simultan avea febra si dureri in partea temporala din stinga. Mama la dus la clinica de familie, unde fara sa-i faca examin la pus pe tratament, tratament care nu l-a ajutat. A fost dus la spital si internat doua saptamini, unde a facut antibiotic injectabil zilnic, ca tratament. Odata inapoi acasa Fanu sa simtit un pic mai bine pe o perioada temporara de doua saptamini, dupa care febra si durerea temporala a revenit cu o forta si mai mare. Mama cu Delia l-au dus la urgenta, dar nu l-au internat, in schimb l-au trimis la spitalul de boli infectioase. Acolo au asteptat ceva timp, cu Fanu pe o targa plingind in dureri. Cind a venit medicul, care-l suspecta de meningita, a observat ca Fanu avea o semipareza pe partea stinga si l-a trimis direct la Timisoara. A chemat ambulanta si a fost transferat in aceeasi zi la spitalul de la Padurea Verde in Timisoara. Era Martie. La Timisoara a fost transferat la citeva spitale, multe teste sau facut, si multe diagnosticuri sau schimbat, dar in general dupa o tomografie la sectia de neurologie, medicii si-au dat seama ca e grav si fara sperante.

Fanu si Alin se mai plimbau prin curtea spitalului la inceput, ori de cite ori se vizitau, dar in termen de citeva saptamini Fanu a paralizat, nu a mai putut sa inghita sau sa vorbeasc. Era pe transfuzie non-stop si comunica prin notitele care le scria. (Exemplu sus in fotografie). Mama mea a stat linga Fanu zi si noapte, si mergea sa se odihneasca din cind in cind, si numai daca era acolo ori Delia ori Alin. Tata, care veni-se in vizita in America pentru prima data, a trebuit sa-si taie concediu si impreuna ne-am intors in Romania. Cind l-am vazut pe Fanu era de nerecunoscut, toti muschii ii disparu-se si era numai piele si os. Ii vedeam forma inimii cum ii batea sub pielea subtire. Cu citeva saptamini inainte de a muri ia spus mamei, scriind, ca el va muri. Plina de durere in suflet mama i-a raspuns ca nu-i adevarat. A treia oara, Fanu a insistat.

“Mama, eu am sa mor. Te rog deschide usa.” Si mama ii deshidea cind usa de la baie cind cea de la salon.

“Nu mama, usa asta.” Si Fanu a aratat spre tavan.

“Fanule, ala e tavanul, nu usa.”

“Ba da, mama, e o scara cu doi ingeri care asteapta si o usa inchisa in fata scarii. Te rog deschide usa ca sa plec.” Si mama si-a dat seama atunci ca se apropie timpul dar inca nu putea realiza adevarul. De fapt nici unul din noi nu am putut realiza adevarul. Fanu a murit in noaptea de 27 Mai, cu Alin la capul lui si a venit acasa numai in sicriu unde fratii il asteptau indurera-ti. Sefa spitalului a cerut permisiune pentru autopsie, si a gasit diferite tipuri de cancer, cancer care ea nu a mai vazut pina atunci (numai pe coloana vertebrala a gasit patru tipuri de cancer diferit) si a trimis multe probe in Franta pentru analize. Nu am primit nici o veste inapoit. Dar ea a recomandat ca toti sa faca niste analize de plamini (nu stiu exact detaliile). Dupa inmormintare, (31 Mai) o inmormintare plina de colegii de clasa atit a lui Fanu, dar si cit a lui Alex si Oana, si directoarea Scolii Generale Numarul 1, doamna Chintuan, mama sa mutat la Vilcele permanent unde l-a jelit mult pe Fanu.

Fanule, nu te vom uita niciodata. Dar in acela-si timp sintem bucurosi ca nu mai sufera, si ca nu mai are dureri. Ii multumesc Bunului Dumenzeu pentru privilejiul de a-l avea pe Fanu in viata noastra, chiar daca pentru o perioada scurta de timp. Ii multumesc ca la impartit cu noi o perioada de timp:) Intr-o buna zi ne vom revedea, dar nu inca.

P.S Un an mai tirziu, Alin a avut aceleasi simptome si ne-a intristat pe toti, nedornici sa pierdem un alt frate. I-au gasit o formatiune tumorala dar nu canceroasa, in sfenoid, cit un virf de deget mare, format din cauza stresului si a prafului/poluarii. Operatia facuta la Bucuresti a fost plina de succes:)

Domane, iti multumesc pentru fratii si surorile mele, pentru timpul petrecut impreuna, si de memoriile frumoase care le am (avem) cu Fanu:) Amin.

Fanu the Powerful

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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1991-2002

Death comes to us all, how you greeted makes all the difference.

Fanu, short for Stefan, was the last Damean son, and number eleven in the long line of siblings. He entered this world in December 1991 and left it far too early.

Fanu had a generally calm personality, loved playing with his small cars, usually with his brother Alex, and loved to dream together about their future. Soccer was another game he practiced often in the dusty apartment courtyard of a gray and small town full of factory workers’ children. Life, as he knew it, was satisfactory even if at times shadowed by his father’s angry episodes. Fanu was still at an age where that meant little, just another day in his life, unaware of the grievances abuse brings once you understand what’s happening. In that regard he was spared.

A very competitive character, with a very giving nature, always making big plans of charitable gestures towards someone he loved or was in need. Unfortunately, we’ll never know what his life would’ve been like, but in a way he’s free of pain and sorrow now.

In the spring of 2002 (February) Fanu began having splitting headaches with a tremendous amount of pain around his left temporal area and began isolating himself in dark corners of the apartment. My mother took him to the local clinic where, without a proper examination, was prescribed some medication. It did not work. His fever became alarmingly high while the pain persisted and my mom took him to the local hospital. He was admitted for two weeks getting a daily dose of antibiotics (ampicillin) shots. He then was discharged but a few weeks later (March) when his fever and pain returned with a vengeance my mom and Delia took him to the emergency. Instead of admitting him the doctor in charge sent them to the contagious diseases hospital in Hunedoara. There they had to wait quit a bit, despite the fact that Fanu, now lying on a hospital bed in the waiting room, was crying complaining of intense pain on his left temporal zone. Upon examination the doctor discovered a partial facial paralysis on his left, and sent them immediately to a hospital in Timisoara specializing in contagious diseases and also known to be a good hospital. He was moved back and forth between couple hospitals (intensive care, neurology, contagious diseases) in Timisoara and misdiagnosed quite a bit. From being able to take small walks in the hospital’s court-yard anytime Alin visited, within weeks he became completely paralyzed, unable to eat solids while constantly on IV. The next time Fanu came back home, he was resting in a coffin.

In Timisoara’s hospitals he waisted away rapidly until May 27th when he died. My mom spent countless hours around the clock by his side, relived temporarily so she could rest by Delia and my brother Alin. By the time I came to see him he shrunk in size and all musculature mass was gone, he was paralyzed and no longer could talk, communicating by writing messages on pieces of paper. He was literally skin and bone and I could see the shape of his heart while beating, lifting a very thin layer of white and dry skin. He was no longer recognizable, only when I looked in his eyes I could see Fanu, the man. The suffering matured him tremendously. The diagnosis was never firmly found, but the whole thing began from a puss matter in his brain who by the end of his life spread all over his body in cancerous masses. Alin got really close to Fanu during that time. A few weeks before dying, no longer able to speak, Fanu managed to let my mother know that he knew he was dying. Grief stricken my mother kept telling him he’ll get better. Fanu insisted and by third time, Fanu asked my mother to open the door, because he wanted to go through. My mom opened his door in his room or the bathroom door.

“Not that one mom, the other one.” He would write while pointing to the ceiling.

“My boy, there’s not a door there, that’s the ceiling.”

“Sure there is, mom. There’s a long staircase with two angles waiting on each side and a closed door/gate right before it. Can you open it, so I can go?” My mother understood then. Her little boy was dying and God was waiting for him. Few days later Alin came relieving my exhausted mother for a well needed night of rest. Fanu died during that night. Upon autopsy, was discovered that Fanu had a very high number of cancerous masses throughout his body. Along his spine alone the Chief of Medical Staff who did the autopsy herself found three different types of cancer. Every organ was affected by cancer. She then asked permission for a brain mass autopsy and the results excluded mono or encephalitis (earlier perceived diagnosis) but his brain matter was full of foreign looking tumors, something she’s never seen before. Samples of cancers cell from along his spine, brain and other organs were sent to France for further study but we’ve never heard anything back. The rest of my siblings were advised to take test relating their lung health, don’t remember specifically the name of the test, just in case. The one that did came back fine.

His funeral was big.

My mom’s grief was immense and she argued with God many days after words. Fanu was a big loss for the entire family, unexpected, fast and deeply painful, however I’m glad that he’s no longer suffering and he’s at peace. To us he’ll always remain powerful for the way he faced it all. He didn’t complain and seemed to want to easy our pain any way he could.

Fanu, we miss you forever!!!!!! And can’t wait to see you, but not yet. Not yet.

P.S Few months later, Alin began having similar symptoms and the whole family was devastated. He went and had an operation in Bucuresti and removed non-cancerous tumor mass from his sphenoid canal the size of the end of a finger, formed due to stress and dust. The surgery was a success:)

Thank you God for our Fanu and the time we had with him. Thank you for allowing him to be with us even if for a small period of time. I’m truly grateful. Thank you for my family:)

 

Alex Biruitorul

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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Prima fotografie, de la stinga la dreapta: Fanu, Alex si Tibi

A doua fotografie, de la stinga la dreapta: Alex, Iuli, Cornelia si Mia in vacanta, vara asta.

Al zece-lea, Alex sa nascut cu doua luni inainte de Revolutia din 1989 si in general a fost un copil fericit si plin de viata:) Datorita virstei apropiate intre ei, nu pot vorbi de Alex fara sa-l implic si pe Fanu (numarul unsprezece). Amindoi au fost atit frati dar si buni prieteni, petrecind ore cu masinutele, jucindu-se, in aceelasi timp imaginindu-si o lume plina de aventuri si planificind cum sa ajute cind pe unul cind pe altul, in viitor, cind vor creste ei mari:) Afara, in fata blocului tot timpul jucau in aceeasi echipa si se alegeau unul pe altul ca parteneri in jocurile copilaresti din fata blocului. In stresul momentelor de boala a lui Fanu, Alex nu a fost dus la spital si nu a putut sa-si is ramas bun de la Fanu. Alex a avut numai 13 ani cind fratele, si in aceelasi timp bunul lui prieten a murit si a luat ceva timp sa treaca peste durerea care moartea in general aduce cind rupe din mijlocul nostru pe careva iubit. In shimb la visat, dupa ce a murit, si stiau amindoi acest fact, si Alex la intrebat pe Fanu sa-i arate taietura facuta pe mijloc la autopsie. Fanu sa dezbracat si i-a aratat-o.

Plina de durere si amaraciune, mama sa mutat la Vilcele, lasind in urma pe Iulian, Tibi, Alex si Oana, la mila tatalui, care a continuat abuzul dar si o lipsa de grija. Au suferit de foame si au trebuit sa se descurce fiecare cum a putut (fact care l-am aflat numai recent).

Dupa ce a terminat liceul, Alex a plecat pentru o luna in vizita la Delia, si a lucrat in constructii cu Sami, sotul lui Delia. Atunci ei stateau in Roma, Italia. Ca recompensa i sa cumparat primul laptop. Intors in Hunedoara, a dorit sa intre la facultate dar lipsa de ajutor financiar la fortat sa se uite dupa o pozitie de lucrul. A gasit de lucru la o fabrica de cablaj pentru interioarele masinilor la Deva, un oras numai 30 minute distanta de Hunedoara.

Pe un site crestin numit “Pom verde” a intilnit-o pe Mia, care avea acelasi nume de familie, Damean. Crezind ca-i ruda a intrat in conversatie dar curind a aflat ca Mia nu inrudita cu el. Asa a inceput curtarea. Un lucru foarte important pentru amandoi a fost Dumnezeu in relatia lor si binecuvintarea Lui, are au primit-o amandoi intr-un interval de 24 de ore, printr-un semn nedezvaluit unul la altul decit dupa ce l-au primit. Nunta a fost la Ludos, de unde e Mia. Dar viata finaciara dupa era grea. Ca electrician Alex facea bani lucrind ori unde prindea ceva de lucru, fie la zugravit, fie pus de faianta dar in ciuda toate eforturilor deabea se puteau intretine. Au hotarit sa plece o luna in Portugalia unde parintii lui Mia lucrau. Alex si-a gasit de lucru acolo fapt care i-au facut sa se mute definitiv in Portugalia acuma trei ani si usor, usor sau ridicat financiar, Alex ca electrician si intretinere generala a unei case, Mia ca artist de machiaj. Recent Mia si-a gasit un post de munca ca chelnerita.

Mia si Alex stiu cum sa se bucure de viata, si mereu viziteaza locuri frumoase in Portugalia, maninca mincaruri foarte bune la restaurant (de fapt tata lui Mia lucreaza la un restaurant ca bucatar si copii il viziteaza des:).

Alex a ales sa fie fericit in viata si sa lase in trecut durerea trecutului, fapt care-l apreciez mult la el. Cicatrice inca este si ranile inca dor, dar usor, usor cu ajutorul Bunului Dumnezeu se vindeca ranile atit in el cit si in restul fratilor si surorilor). In realitate numai Bunul Dumnezeu ne-a alinat la toti durerile si ne-a aratat caile de vindecare. Fara el si binecuvintarile lui in viata noastra nu am fi putut avea succes.

Ma bucur ori de cite ori ii vad rizind si ori de cite ori aud ceva bun ca sa intimplat in viata lor:) Doamne multumim mult de toate:)

Alex the Overcomer

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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First picture left to right: Fanu and Alex- the two buddies:)

Second picture: Alex and his wife, Mia:)

Born number ten in our family, Alex came into the world only couple months before the 1989 Eastern Block revolution and the fall of communism. He was a happy child:) I do believe between Iulian and Alex my mother lost another baby. Due to the small gap of only one year and a half in age, Alex and Fanu (number eleven) had a very close relationship. The two buddies spent long hours playing with their toy cars, building imaginary adventures and charitable work plans together. Outside, in the courtyard, they stuck together and always picked each other on the same team, either for a game of soccer or tennis. It’s hard talking about Alex’s childhood without mentioning Fanu, since the two were very close. Their friendship was special:) Alex was only 13 years old when his best friend and brother, Fanu, died and he never got the opportunity to say good by to his little brother and best friend. He had a dream soon after and asked Fanu to show him his disection cut, which Fanu did so.

Soon after Fanu’s death my mother moved in Vilcele, full of grief, and left Alex, Oana and Iulian behind in Hunedoara at my father’s mercy who both starved and abused them.

After he graduated from high school, Alex left for Roma, Italy and lived with Delia, while working with Sami, Delia’s husband, in construction. There he gained his first electronic item in the form of a laptop. Back in Hunedoara he tried to go to collage but did not have the means to do so and settled for a job in the factory of electric wiring system from Deva, a city 30 minutes away from Hunedoara; also the same city Nadia Comaneci trained in.

On a Cristian single site “Pom Verde” he met Mia, who had the same last name, Damean. Thinking she was related to us, Alex began a conversation but it turned out she was not related and they began dating. One thing was very important for the both of them, a sign from God showing they were meant to be together and they got it within 24 hours of each other. After the wedding, a wedding I could not attend, Alex moved to Ludos, where Mia was from and worked hard trying to provide, but they lived paycheck to paycheck and Alex’s skills as an electrician only went so far. Mia’s parents lived in Portugal and the newly wedded couple decided to go visit them for a month, but soon Alex found work and they moved to Portugal permanently where they live to this day. It’s been three years already and they still love it in Portugal having lots of fun together any opportunity they get. You should see the pictures of the delicious foods they send us on a regular bases. Alex works mainly as an electrician as well as a maintenance man and Mia does make-up for weddings and special occasions part-time and recently got a job as a waitress.

The two of them sure have so much fun together, always visiting nice parts of Portugal or enjoying a nice evening out. Mia’s father works as a chef in a restaurant and the two of them visit him quite often:) Their lives are simple and full of happiness. I’m so very glad to see that.

Alex protects his small family fiercely from his abusive father and in general does not have much contact with him. He’s chosen to be happy. Good for him:) I applaud that decision. I’ve gotten to know Alex more so in his early twenties and I’m so glad I did. He’s a great guy:)

P.S “Pom Verde” web site was introduced to Iulian and Oana by Alex, where all three met their spouses.

Iulian cel de neinvins

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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Prima fotografie: Iulian

A doua fotografie: Iulian in spital anul acesta inainte de a avea operatie.

A treia fotografie: Cornelia la visitat la spital (la lucru).

Numarul opt in familie, Iulian era un copil sensibil dar puternic. Ca adult e la fel:) Nu conteaza de cite ori viata il loveste, Iulian se ridica inapoi si confrunta totul cu un curaj puternic. Iuli este un prieten extrem de credincious (nu numai in sensul spiritual). Desi e singurul care arata foarte mult cu tatal nostru, Iuli nu are caracterul tatalui. Alex al meu seamana foarte mult cu Iuli si zimbesc ori de cite ori ma uit la fiul meu:) Adolescenta ia fost bintuita de episoadele de abuz al tatalui si absenta mamei, care sa mutat la casa din Vilcele in timpul scolii generale, lasindu-i singuri. Scoala ia fortat pe fratii mei mai mici sa locuiasca in Hunedoara, si mergeau la Vilcele la sfirsit de saptamina sau in timpul vacantei, dar erau pusi la munca des. Parasi-ti, aveau de aface cu agresiunea lui tata si lipsa de mincare.

Dupa liceu, Iuli sa mutat la Arad cu Alin unde a inceput facultatea, dar din nefericire nu a putut termina deoarece Alin sa mutat in Germania, cu lucru si Iuli a ramas singur iara, fortindu-l sa se intoarca in Hunedoara. Acolo a facut doua facultati simultan, una la asistenta medicala si cealalta in management. Le-a terminat pe amindoua dar lipsa de posturi de munca in Hunedoara, la fortat sa petreaca mult timp la Vilcele. Cred ca si dorul de mama la impins acolo:) A muncit mult la casa, in gradina si pe urma in constructii alaturi de Ionel Albescu, un om bun si pastorul bisericii locale. In Ionel, Iuli a gasit un exemplu de tata si un refugiu emotional, de la care a invatat multe lucruri bune atit in domeniul spiritual dar si cel emotional. Asa a devenit Ionel un tata adoptiv, si Iuli’l considera si in ziua de azi ca tata. Tot in perioada aceia la intilnit si pe Adrian Bandila, care i-a devenit un prieten foarte apropriat, ca un frate. Cu fratii lui mai mari plecati in alte orase cu lucru sau casatoriti, Iuli a fost cam singur. El si Leo, au avut o relatie frumoasa, precum si cu ceilalti mai mici.

Alex la introdus pe Iuli la un site crestin “Pom Verde” unde a intilnit-o pe Cornelia, o fata foarte frumoasa si finuta. Cornelia locuia in Londra, Anglia cu surorile ei si lucra. Intr-un final Iuli a plecat in Anglia si a lucrat in constructii. Nunta lor a fost in 2013, si am putut participa si noi (ultima data cind am vizitat Romania) si ne-am bucurat impreauna cu intreaga familie (cu exceptia lui Oana, care lucra in Italia).

Dupa nunta Iuli a lucrat in constructie ceva timp si in ultimii doi ani lucreaza ca asistent medical intr-unul din spitalele Londrei.

In ultimul an Cornelia si Iulian au trecut prin niste momente foarte grele, dar Iulian infrunta totul cu o atitudine puternica. Desi in dureri enorme de la pietrele de rinichi, Iuli a confruntat fiecare zi cu o perseverenta titanica.

Sint foarte mindra de el si deabea astept sa vad ce binecuvintari va primi in viitor:)

Iulian the Invincible

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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First picture left to right: Tibi (worried not to get hit), Fanu, Oana, Alex and Iulian:)

Second picture: Iulian

Third picture: my son Alex who looks so much like Iulian:)

Fourth picture: Iulian and his wife, Cornelia, taken a few days ago:)

Born the ninth in the family, Iulian is a sensitive yet strong soul. No matter how many times life has knocked him down, Iuli (short for Iulian), always gets up and walks right back in the middle of it. He’s a fiercely faithful friend 🙂 He’s also the one that looks just like my father and I know that’s not a compliment for Iuli. My son Alex has lots of Iulian resemblances, and I smile often when I look at Alex. Through him I feel like I have a piece of home:) Iuli’s adolescence, hunted by my farther’s angry outbursts, was not an easy one yet he but remained a very faithful son during that period.

After his high-school graduation in Hunedoara, Iuli moved in Arad with Alin and began collage but was forced to quit in the middle of it, due to Alin’s work transfer into Germany. Once Alin left, there was nothing left for Iuli in Arad so he returned in Hunedoara, where he attended, simultaneously, two collages: one for nursing and  the other for management. He graduated from both, but work was scarce in Hunedoara. Unable to find work in either field he spent a lot of time in Vilcele, where my parents had a house. By now my mom lived there round-the-clock, visiting Hunedoara and her children rarely. School kept my siblings in Hunedoara and summer vacation was spent in Vilcele. With his older siblings gone, some of them married while others working in different cities (as far away from home as they could possibly get), and his mother living in Vilcele, Iuli grew up around our father’s presence around while lacking a mother’s warm embrace. I think he spent a lot of time in Vilcele just to be closer to our mother. There he worked daily, doing hard labor around the house and garden until he met Ionel, and older man and the pastor of the local church, and shoulder to shoulder they worked in constructions where he got to know the man better. Quickly, Ionel became a father figure for Iulian. That’s where Iuli found refuge as he listened to the older man’s good advise regarding a healthy spiritual walk and healing his emotionally wounded soul. Ionel became Iuli’s adoptive father and to this day it remains so. Another refuge for Iuli was Adrian Bandila, a brother figure which brought a healthy balance in a shadowy world.

Through a Christian date line, Iulian met Cornelia, a very sweet and naturally beautiful girl. Cornelia lived in London, England with some of her siblings and worked there as well. Iuli left for England, eventually, where he worked in construction a few years but always kept in touch with Ionel and Adrian. Their wedding in Hunedoara was beautiful and Chet and I had the privilege to attend. After the wedding together they moved back in London where Iuli worked in construction a while but the past two years he’s worked as a medical male nurse in one of London’s hospitals, where he’s still employed.. Cornelia works as a preschool teacher.

The past year, both Iuli and Cornelia have gone through some very hard times, but have managed to pull through. Iuli had a nasty kidney stone that put him in an intense painful state and a couple unsuccessful minor operations. Despite it all, he lived life with great humor but it was clear to us that he was in a lot of pain, non-stop. Cornelia lost a lot as well, but that’s a personal matter and we’ll leave it at that.

I’m so very proud of Iulian, who stood tall in the face of so much pain the past few years. Any other person my have broken under such weight, but not Iuli:) Thank you God for the strength you’ve put in Iulian and I’m looking forward to see what’s in store for his future:)

 

Tiberiu-Leul

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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Prima fotografie de la stings: Iulian, Alex, Mia si Tibi

A doua photografie: Nicole ca mireasa:)

A treia photografie: Tibi ca mire:)

Tibi, poreclit Leo sau Leul, datorita parului blond, masiv si bogat cu care sa nascut a fost un baiat retras. In timpul travaliului, mama a impins mult, pentru ca lui Tibi i-a placut la caldura mai degraba. “A fost puturos, a trebuit eu sa fac totul si nu ma ajutat cu nimic.” Spunea mama intr-una din zile. “Cind a iesit, avea parul asa bogat si ii statea drept in sus ca la un leu.” A adaugat ea. E adevarat ca Leo, daca ar avea de alege, sar relaxa in fata unei farfurii cu mincare imprejurat de cei dragi, lucrul care-l admir:)

Numarul opt in familie, Leo este un tip cugetator, cu o latura peotica si romantica a vedea viata, o latura pozitiva din punctul meu de vedere. Leo are un tip diplomatic de a vorbi si face pe fiecare sa se simta valoros cind el vorbeste. Are tendinta de a vedea partea pozitiva a vietii si uita repede partile negative ale abuzului din trecut. Tibi vede tot timpul partea buna a unui om, si nu ma mira ca in final sta asa aproape de Sergiu, care are un caracter similar:)

Intr-o vacanta in timpul liceului a plecat in Germania cu Flesh la Sergiu, unde Flesh a devenit starul intr-o echipa de fotbal si Leo a devenit portar pe o perioda scurta de timp. El era interest mai degraba in fructele si sucul servit la sfirsitul antrenamentului, decit de sport.

Dupa ce a terminat liceul in Hunedoara, a plecat in Bucuresti si a facut facultatea la tourism management. De acolo, batut de dragoste a plecat in Oltenia unde a “inteles ca femeile is periculoase:)” Impins de pericol sa reintors in Hunedoara unde la intimpinat un tata rece. De acolo sa mutat la Timisoara, unde a avut diverse posturile de munca printre care si chelner. Intr-un an Chet cu Merrill, au zburat in Romania, la Timisoara mai exact, cu lucru, si Chet a mincat la restaurantul unde Leo lucra. Mi-a zis ca a fost cea mai buna experienta pe care a avut-o cu un chelner, experienta de prima clasa. Tot in Timisoara, intr-o cafenea lucra Nicole si asa a intilnit-o si sa cam indragostit de ea:) Dupa citiva ani de curtare sau casatorit in Timisoara, si imediat dupa nunta sau mutat in Berlin, Germania, la Sergiu. Au fost ajutat-ti mult de Sergiu cu actele si post de munca si acuma stau legal in Germania si cu post de lucru, si au putut sa se mute la un apartament. Impreauna au un baiat de 6 luni cu planuri pentru marirea familiei in viitor:)

In familia noastra e stiut si apreciat de talentul lui de a scrie poezii. Intr-o buna zi sper sa vad o carte publicata de poezii sau poate  vom face o colaborare pe viitor si vom scrie ceva impreuna:)

Rinduri de poezie scrise de Leo,  mie:)

Chiar si daca esti departe

Amandoi vom scrie-o carte

Sa scriem una mai mica?

La-nceput o carticica?

Sa nu ne fortam prea tare

Ca o sa-avem tensiune mare

Stim exact ce-i de facut

Sa o luam de la-nceput.

Leo vorbeste doua limbi jumate:) Romana, Engleza si jumate din Germana, dar nu-i bai ca o invata el pe toata curind:)

Deabea astept sa vad ce-i va aduce viitorul si celebrez impreuna cu el successful lui:)

Tibi the Lion

/ Carmen McKnight / Leave a comment

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First picture: Left to Right; Iulian, Leo and Alex.

Second picture; Leo, Denis his little boy and Nicole:)

Leo the Lion, that’s his nickname. Leo is short for lion. It comes from his dense golden hair he was born with, sticking straight up and giving him the look of a lion’s mane. Apparently my mother had to push quite a bit with Leo while in labor, because he loved the warmth of the womb and was in no hurry to come out. To this day I think Leo would much rather relax in front of a nice meal with loved ones than stress over other things.

Born number eight in our family, Tibi is more of an observer with a poetic talent showing great amounts of respect for humanity in general. There’s a touch of diplomatic language in Leo’s vocabulary and he tends to see the positive side of life, despite the abuse he also endured. He too has a fantastic ability to forget the bad stuff and focus on the good side of life, with an ease most people find charming. No wonder Leo and Sergiu ended up living closer to each other, their personalities are so very similar, along with their looks:)

One summer vacation, while in high school, Flesh and Leo went to visit Sergiu where Leo became a goalie, for a short period of time, in the same soccer team Flesh played. Unlike Flesh, Leo was more interested in the produce served after practice than the game itself and found himself kicked off the team soon after.

Right after high school, back in Hunedoara, he left for Bucuresti attending collage in tourism management. I have to point out one important fact I forgot to mention in the earlier posts: every single one of my siblings who attended collage did so on their own financial efforts, including boarding, food, and other expenses. To this day I wonder how they managed? I know Sergiu paid for two of my brother’s collages, but I can’t remember quite well which two. I also know that Sergiu helped out my brother’s with pocket money, Alin helped with housing and food and I helped with money now and then, focusing mostly on my parents  for many years. I helped my brothers far more once they were married. Okay, back to our story:)

After collage, moved by love Leo moved in Oltenia where he learned “that women were dangerous.” Next he came back home where he was met with a cold shoulder by my father which pushed him to find work and move to Timisoara. There he worked in a few places, mostly as a waiter, and according to Chet, whom in one of his visits to Timisoara ate at the same restaurant Leo worked in, he was the best and most polished waiter Chet encountered.

Leo met Nicole, his wife, while she worked as a waitress in another cafe and after few years of courting they married. Right after the wedding they left Romania and moved in with Sergiu and Brigitte, who just bought a house in Berlin, Germany. Sergiu helped them with the paperwork process, making their stay legal. He also provided Leo with a job in the same company Sergiu is the COO. A year later they moved out on their own and had a little boy, bringing us to date. They’re planing on expending their family soon and I can’t wait to see what else lies in their future.

In our family Leo is known for his great poetic gift, and he writes poems with great talent. Hopefully soon he can publish his own book of poems or Leo and I can collaborate on a book together. That would be fantastic:)

P.S Leo speaks 2 1/5 languages:) Romanian, English and half of German thus far:)