The Battle Within

For my sister Delia:)

Within all of us lay a hidden battle, some having to do with uncertainty, or pain, or unanswered questions so on and so forth. Lately, my inner battle has been whether I should keep on writing in this blog, exposing my fears and victories, or not. But talking to my sister Delia gave me my answer.

We all have gifts. Mine happens to be the gift of writing. We all have moments in our lives in which we doubt whether our gifts are real or not, or simply they’re a personal delusion on which we feed when bored or overexcited. I’ve been fearful to write the past month or so, questioning many things, such as the need for yet another story in this world, but what if that story is exactly what someone else needs now in order to push through today’s pain and uncertainty?

Last week I’ve visited the doctors again, making sure they don’t miss my absence:) Kidding. The back/pelvic pain and fever became unbearable.

 

As you can tell, things could be better. I suspect a kidney related infection. I’ve had a few procedures done and no communication, as yet, from the urology specialists. I’ve been given a prescription for an unrelated matter and good luck chump. The prescription causes cancer and I feel ignored. I’m sharing this because of my frustration in the western medical system who was eager to get me to do few expensive tests but not bothered to give a diagnosis or treatment for something that it’s obviously an issue. I’m sure some of you have been through something similar, felt frustrated and let down, yet again, by the medical system who does not seem interested in curing anyone. But I will not give up, not yet anyway. There’s life to be lived and things to be done:)

So, if you have a talent but you feel reluctant to pursue because you may feel “what’s the point?” especially when others seem only interested into milking and ignoring you, do it anyway for the simple reason that you can. Others dream to have your gifting, but you have it so go use it and help someone. No grand gestures necessary, no big words required, just your willingness. Start small and move forward.

 

P.S. Morning the death of a nice uncle, who died today from cancer. Uncle Relu was a hardworking, nice man.

God Bless:)

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